Alternative Approach to Getting the Number For Those Looking to Advance

[SexPDX]

Don't ask for it...seriously.

The reason I say this is for those "looking to advance" is because I think that if you are new to this and are still at the stage where you are overcoming fear and stepping outside your comfort zone then you need to grow a pair of cajones and ask girls for their numbers like you are afraid to do.

I have been saying recently that my new MO is to be more focused on ATTRACTING girls rather than PURSUING them. With respect to getting the number, try to focus on the part of your performance that fascinates them about you and when you are ready to close make some subtle hint about seeing them again. If you have performed well and have attracted her, she will offer you her number. The time to get her interested is NOT when you call her, it is before you get the number. If you are able to interest her to the point where she OFFERS the number then it is likely that she will be anticipating seeing you again because she has made an investment in you in the form of an IOI.

If you ASK for the number you may well get it, but you may also be putting yourself moreso in the role of a guy PURSUING her than may be necessary. The idea is to get her to pursue you thinking that it was HER idea to see you again when the reality is that her desire to do so was product of your seduction. Also, if it is "her idea" to get together again you can justify compressing the time frame (calling sooner) depending of course on HOW interested she really is.

Try it, it will make you think about your skills.

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- The performer known as Nick

 

[loveprefect]

couldn't agree more...

i myself is good at attracting but not good at closing

the attracting part is something i develop before finding this site...the approaching/number close is what i need to practice after finding this site

 

[stuartSan]

Discussion Forum tried to pursue this thread but it was attracted by the Tips Forum.

 

[wheelin&dealin]

Tell her to write it down like this:

"I've gotta get going in a few minutes so why don't you write down your number for me."

 

[Ashlee Angel]

Originally posted by wheelin&dealin:
Tell her to write it down like this:

"I've gotta get going in a few minutes so why don't you write down your number for me."

If you do that it's still like you are pursueing her. I think the part I've gotta get going is cool. But what I think Nick is saying is if you did your job right she would offer you her number.

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The more girls you ask out the more chances of you getting a yes.

 

[chicago#1]

I used to get a lot of numbers, and it was quite easy. Then I discovered that many a time she will hand out the number because she knows that it is a close and will effectively get rid of you, and brings the realm of interaction into a medium where she can blow you off rather easily (ie. "not home", "busy", etc.).

I only ask for the number when I know that there is a common topic of discussion that both of us find interesting, or when it is very obvious that she wants to hang out. I never ask for the number for it's own sake, because a number is useless if she is not interested. And the more a person expereiments with this kind of thing, the more you can read into someone's true interest level (i.e. eye contact, laughing, touching, etc).

It also helps to be part of a community where you bump into the same people time and time again. It is damn difficult to close on someone whom you just met for 5 minutes, and much easier to with someone who is somewhat familiar, but not too familiar, with your presence amongst certain peers. This is why social proof is so important.

One thing I have done is in the course of conversation is to drop a hint, i.e. "I should give you a call sometime" and if the cards are right this is a cue for her to just hand the number over (and sometimes she will just try to make a plan then and there, and I can take out my calandar which is full and fit her in). If she doesn't pick up I can follow up with asking for it, and measure her response. Often based on this alone I will decide if it is even worth my time to call. Right now I have several "friends with benefits" and this helps in terms of the word getting around that I am available, but not too available, and my peers know I am busy and if I do call they'd better damn well follow up if they want my attention.

This approach has saved me a lot of time and heartache with calling women and wondering what the outcome wil be. I like to bet on sure things, and because I am a busy person my time is limited and this works for me by screening out women who will play games and waste time.


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"In the land of the blind, a one eyed man is king"

 

[SexPDX]

Ash, you are right as to your interpretation of what I am saying. wheelin&dealin, if you are going to go the route of getting the number directly then I agree that TELLING her to give you her number is better than ASKING for it, it sets a firm lead.

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- The performer known as Nick

[This message has been edited by SexPDX (edited 08-05-2002).]

 

[Ashlee Angel]

Today I was training at my job and this 8 was very interested in me. The only thing is that I was in training and she was in an interview. The lady that was interviewing her left for two minutes and she was asking me questions using kino and everything. By the time lady came back she couldn't talk to me because she was at her interview. If I was doing my usual I would have got the number in one minute. Nick I got to admit this takes alot of will power. Remember I said I was going to act like the guy Dangerous Liaisons and he is very extraverted and is a pursuer.

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The more girls you ask out the more chances of you getting a yes.

 

[h2o]

this is a great tip.

i still find myself making the mistake of number closing when it's not completely necessary. or, sometimes asking for the number when nothing (no date/event) has been agreed upon.

face it, number closing is a premature ejection, and you don't want to do that.

make her offer her number. of the times i've approached and they've offered their numbers, they were not flakes.

again, it's not easy, but it makes you focus on the interaction rather than the outcome.

 

[Solomon]

Bump...