"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Alright Playas, Need Some Experienced Opinions
- Thread starter collegeEJ
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Last Man Standing
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Find the most rational response - use your rationality!collegeEJ said:
alright...quick update...
We studied together today for around four hours. I seemed to get to know her a lot better and we really opened up a lot in our conversation. I did ask her today if she was caught by surprise when I came up and randomly approached her at school and she said she was and that she doesn't get approached randomly like that by guys, and I was a little surprised. I guess that answers our question about how often good-looking girls get approached.
Anyways, I told her that the reason I approaced her was because I thought she looked pretty good and she was like "oh, really?" That was pretty much it on that topic, but the conversation kept going well.
Still don't know about her having any interest in me other than friendship, but she did bring up again about how she has a lot of guy friends.
She did ask me one random question today, "Are you happy?" It wasn't all that random because it branched off of us talking about her philosophy class, and religion.
I guess I'll eventually see where this ends up, but hope she didn't put me in that strictly friends category..
We studied together today for around four hours. I seemed to get to know her a lot better and we really opened up a lot in our conversation. I did ask her today if she was caught by surprise when I came up and randomly approached her at school and she said she was and that she doesn't get approached randomly like that by guys, and I was a little surprised. I guess that answers our question about how often good-looking girls get approached.
Anyways, I told her that the reason I approaced her was because I thought she looked pretty good and she was like "oh, really?" That was pretty much it on that topic, but the conversation kept going well.
Still don't know about her having any interest in me other than friendship, but she did bring up again about how she has a lot of guy friends.
She did ask me one random question today, "Are you happy?" It wasn't all that random because it branched off of us talking about her philosophy class, and religion.
I guess I'll eventually see where this ends up, but hope she didn't put me in that strictly friends category..
MMA Juan
Don Juan
At this stage i think its not fully in the strictly friends category- but i can see it leaning towards heading that way.
The mistake you're making is that it seems the majority of your time that you do catch up with her is for study. This is a big No No. Why you ask? because by mostly catching up with her when studyin, she's going to see you as a study friend (How is anything romantic or sexual goin to eventuate from that)
When she is studyin she will automatically be thinkin hard, she will be stressed etc. That is natural, but you DO NOT want to be associated with those feelings of stress etc.
I'm not saying there is anything wrong with catchin up with her too study, as long as its not the majority of time space that you catch up with her.
She gave you a chance before, and yes you blew that chance. however, i do not think its over, i reckon you can do it again and this time, now that you've made it clear you will pursue, you must go in for the close.
Before you attempt goin for the close, you're going to have to build your own self confidence. You have re-iterated the fact anumber of times throughout this thread that she has mentioned she has many guy friends. this shows me 2 things:
1- You feel insecure by this fact (This is eating up your confidence around her)
2- She see's how it makes you feel, so she keeps bringing it up to make her look like a prize, and by you showin her that it does phase you, you are letting her climb that pedestal, and walking yourself quite briskly towards the friends category.
OK... Now that you have realised what she is doing, tell yourself shes playin a game, and fair enough, you wana hit that so we'll play along. next time she brings it up, show that it hasnt affected you and keep your cool. dont say anything along that you have plently of girl mates etc, cause she'll know your jus tryin to play back. this is a no no, you wana play stealthly.
Next time you talk to her, either phone , text or catch up for study etc, you have to slightly flirt with her using Kino, talk and look like a fun kinda guy. This will build your own confidence, and show her you don't wana be "just friends". Then, you are to ask her to catch up, say for a movie or somethin like that. preferably somewhere you'll have fun and in a fun environment, but if the movie at your/her place i sthe only option, then settle for that. make sure its just you two...
Once at hers, dont talk about her b/f, if she brings it up, easily sway off the topic. ask questions about her interests, then probe her answers with more questions to keep the convo interesting and going. remember that during this you are being playful, touching her gently usin kino etc.
slowly make bigger moves on her, talk about a massge etc, then give her one. move down to her waist, then your lips move near her neck etc, you get the picture.
Let me know how it goes, and whatever you do, do not fvck up by having no confidence to close in. you missed out one time, do not fvck up again.
Peace- MMA Juan
YEEE-HAA!!Last Man Standing said:
I don't believe it! LMS you did it! As soon as I saw your post, my eye balls went into 'rapid movement mode' scanning the lines for the word 'Hor'.. and this time- not there!!! Isn't this like the first time!!?? Geezaloo, you are improving after all!!
Hurra Hurra"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
DavenJuan
Master Don Juan
.
im getting sick to my stomach. this reminds me of when i was in college and this hb 9 was always with me. we did everything to gether. studied, went to restaurants, skipped classes. i was soooo blind back then but i didnt think she wanted me...
only to find out years later that she WAS into me. yes we were friends, but i couldve closed the deal. After awhile, i waited so long she did only see me as a nice guy, a friend. but prior to that, i was in.
DONT BLOW IT. what do you have to lose ..." a friend?" you have plenty of friends...go after what you want and do expect anything less
Today we had class together and I don't now why, but I was just not feeling on top of my game, but she said we were going to get together Saturday or Sunday to do some practice problems for our class.
I'll let you guys know how it turned out after this weekend. I will definitely try to close if all goes smoothly. I just kind of had a little bit of a negtive mindset today and it was kind of awkward when we parted ways.
I always seem to worry about being put in that friend category, but I will admit that she needs absolutely no help from me in that class because she is definitley on top of things and continues to make plans to want to study together.
I tend to constantly overanalyze my every action and worry a lot.
It might seem wierd but I constantly worry about my eyes and freaking people out with my eyes and I think this, in turn, giving off a bad vibe. Anybody else have this problem or is that just wierd??
I'll let you guys know how it turned out after this weekend. I will definitely try to close if all goes smoothly. I just kind of had a little bit of a negtive mindset today and it was kind of awkward when we parted ways.
I always seem to worry about being put in that friend category, but I will admit that she needs absolutely no help from me in that class because she is definitley on top of things and continues to make plans to want to study together.
I tend to constantly overanalyze my every action and worry a lot.
It might seem wierd but I constantly worry about my eyes and freaking people out with my eyes and I think this, in turn, giving off a bad vibe. Anybody else have this problem or is that just wierd??
DavenJuan
Master Don Juan
yes this is weird, but not as much as you think. we all have our own "personal" ideas of what we think are flaws..just like as skinny chick thinking she is fat. yuo see what youwant to see.
THIS is your problem. OVER ANALAZING. you are talking and thinking yuurself out of what good be a great thing, or could burn in flames. either way, you have lost before you even try if you over think this entire thing. GET IN THERE AND GO FOR WHAT YOU WANT.
no more thinking, no more i should say this or do that.
..idea...
when you "study" this weekend, get close to her, a lil kino, lots of EC. tell her how nice her hair smells and run your fingers through it, stare into her eyes and just go for it. She may be receptive, she may not, but who cares..
IN THE WORDS OF NIKE..JUST DO IT
Last Man Standing
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Ducaro, I don't believe that you are 57, otherwise you would not be so astounded by my hor references since you have had the life experiences to validate my obvious claims!ducaro said:YEEE-HAA!!
I don't believe it! LMS you did it! As soon as I saw your post, my eye balls went into 'rapid movement mode' scanning the lines for the word 'Hor'.. and this time- not there!!! Isn't this like the first time!!?? Geezaloo, you are improving after all!!
How can I be improving by not calling a hor a "Hor"! When you call a thing or person out of their name then you are doing a disservice but when you use a descriptive term to that which you are describing then you are in sync with the rhythm of truth!
The word "EASY" means "Hor" - I used "easy" for the benefit of the OP to let him know that she was accommodating his advances, regardless of her "B/f"!! Making it "easy" for him to pluck her wings!
I just got a voicemail from her, seeing if I wanted to do homework later. I texted her and we are supposed to get together later tonight to work on it.
Wish me luck. I'm still confused as hell as to what is going on with the whole situation and the conflicting opinions from this site and another definitely doesn't help any.
Anways, if the opportunity presents itself, I am definitley going to try and close.
I was actually at the point where I was about to be like F it, cuase I'm tired of trying to figure this out.
Wish me luck. I'm still confused as hell as to what is going on with the whole situation and the conflicting opinions from this site and another definitely doesn't help any.
Anways, if the opportunity presents itself, I am definitley going to try and close.
I was actually at the point where I was about to be like F it, cuase I'm tired of trying to figure this out.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
alright, well she came over tonight for an hour or two to work on some practice problems for our class.
I asked her if she watched a certain game yesterday and she mentioned that she helped her boyfriend clean his apartment to get ready for his little sister's party they were gonna throw for her. This kinda threw me off and I didn't close.
Man, I'm bummed out about this situation. Part of me thinks she is using the homework as an excuse to hang out with me, but I don't know if it's just because she likes my company, she likes doing homework with somebody, or more...Like I said before she needs absolutely no help from me in that class, but I just don't know...
I asked her if she watched a certain game yesterday and she mentioned that she helped her boyfriend clean his apartment to get ready for his little sister's party they were gonna throw for her. This kinda threw me off and I didn't close.
Man, I'm bummed out about this situation. Part of me thinks she is using the homework as an excuse to hang out with me, but I don't know if it's just because she likes my company, she likes doing homework with somebody, or more...Like I said before she needs absolutely no help from me in that class, but I just don't know...