alright, met a wonderful girl, but kind of confused

[Ng-Ma]

ok, so ive been courting this girl for weeks. shes, imo, a perfect LTR material. anyways, so i made good friends with her (got her to give me ALL her old college tests , so easy answers for me, lol). so after 2 months or so, i finally grew a pair and asked her out. "oh...I have a boyfriend already." was her response. though ive know her only for a very short period of time, im highly skeptical of this. she does not seem like the type who would have a bf. she doesnt drink, sleeps at 930 on friday nights, wakes up at 7 am on saturdays, very religious, close with her family (you get the point). well, after being rejected, i still kept in contact with her over spring break. i think shes starting to open up more, talking about her family, and for once, actually asked ME about something rather than her yacking on about herself. anyways, what should i do? should i keep courting (even if shes telling the truth, she aint married, if she isnt, maybe she isnt interested YET?), or call it quits? thanks guys! SS Rocks!

 

[SamePendo]

I've got a great idea, it will shoot straight through all of her barriers. Not even her husband will stop your shared love.


Get her a docen roses. But, in each petal, write in something. Maybe single words, maybe a thought, a small poem maybe, small details about her also, like, her birthday, favorite color, the name of her elementary school principal, the names of all of her pets, there'll be lots and lots of petals to fill with thoughful and loving memoires.

It will show how nobody can love her as you do, and how you are a person who takes notice in details.. very attractive to a woman.

 

[insidious]

I've got a great idea, it will shoot straight through all of her barriers. Not even her husband will stop your shared love.


Get her a docen roses. But, in each petal, write in something. Maybe single words, maybe a thought, a small poem maybe, small details about her also, like, her birthday, favorite color, the name of her elementary school principal, the names of all of her pets, there'll be lots and lots of petals to fill with thoughful and loving memoires.

It will show how nobody can love her as you do, and how you are a person who takes notice in details.. very attractive to a woman.

LOL SamP, you can be sued for DJ Malpactrice dishing out tongue-in-cheek advice like that!

 

[blinkwatt]

Maybe she is actually doing what she should be doing when you are younger(in college)...focusing on school and not partying and sleeping with other people.

 

[Ng-Ma]

actually, im a sophomore. shes a junior. (in college). im dissappointed in the "advice" recieved so far. i was hoping for more serious responses.

 

[Deadly_Assassin]

i think shes starting to open up more, talking about her family, and for once, actually asked ME about something rather than her yacking on about herself. anyways, what should i do

doesnt that ring any bells? I mean she actually only asked you once about something rather than her talking about herself. Only once she was interested in knowing something about you and you have know her for months?

I would say start sarging other women. You can still remain in touch with her, but theres no point to it.

 

[Eccentric]

Might as well bring the Ben & Jerrys over and a find a good Lifetime movie. You're her girlfriend.

 

[LeviathanIYG]

Hahahah you got to love SoSuave every time you come on you are guaranteed a laugh.

Man this girl doesn't see you as a BF or anything else that even remotely embodies any form of sexual attraction no matter how slight.

WHY?

Because you are putting her on a pedestal and you are chasing her.

WOMEN want a CHALLENGE not a little puppy dog.

I can picture it right now, you walk up to her heart pounding, hands shaking, sweating and rehearsing your speech over and over.

You: Sandy even since the first day I met you I liked you…...(pause for dramatic effect) will you go out with me?

Her: (OMG he is asking me out, what a loser I better let him down gently) Ummmm I already have a BF.

Man you are not in high school anymore you don’t ask girls out. It just doesn’t happen it’s unheard of.

You got a lot to learn.

 

[backbreaker]

actually, im a sophomore. shes a junior. (in college). im dissappointed in the "advice" recieved so far. i was hoping for more serious responses.

lol, I crack up everytime I see a response like this.

Okay.. so if you are dissappointed in the responses, that means you must have already had something in mind you wanted to hear

Which begs the question.. why ask it in the first place if you already know the answer?

To quote Rollo, you should spin more plates... judging on how it's going with this girl, you might need to spin cabinets, bowls or any other type of kitchenware you can get your hands on.

she doesn't like you.

Okay, let me put it to you this way. Everything that you have done with her, is something I can do with a guy frined of mind. We all shared tests in HS...

Come to think about it, that's all you did, besides talk on the phone.

She has a BF, but that's not the issue. The issue is that she hasn't given in 2 months to think she is interested in you in the slightest.

At least my old oneitis used to dragg me along, on purpose

 

[Doctormad]

From one recovering AFC to another...

ok, so ive been courting this girl for weeks

That phrase right there tells me that you have put her on a pedestal. Once you think a woman is better than you, you give away all your power and give it to her. And what does a woman do when she is in that position? She loses respect for the guy and goes after someone who she sees as more of a challenge and mystery.

shes, imo, a perfect LTR material

Maybe its just me, but I dont think I have ever met a girl who was perfect in any way. Especially not in terms of LTR.

well, after being rejected, i still kept in contact with her over spring break. i think shes starting to open up more, talking about her family, and for once, actually asked ME about something rather than her yacking on about herself. anyways, what should i do? should i keep courting (even if shes telling the truth, she aint married, if she isnt, maybe she isnt interested YET?), or call it quits? thanks guys! SS Rocks!

Congratulations, you are her new "friend". She does not see you as relationship material and never will. You will always be her emotional tampon.

My advice, and I speak from experience. Cut off all contact with her, at least for the time being. Its my experience that being friends with a girl you are attracted to, often leads to disasterous results. Maybe, just maybe if you value your friendship with her then down the line you can hang out with her again, but do not get any false hopes of anything happening with her. As the other guys have said, go look for other women to talk to.

 

[Ng-Ma]

guys, there is also another reason why im "putting her on a pedestal." we are both doing the same major, but she is a year ahead of me. she promised me ALL the old test materials and papers. so i HAVE TO be nice to her, because my life would be so much easier when i get all the keys from her. so im afraid i cant do the whole "****y ignoring" routine that y'all seem to suggest. i like her, but keep in mind, i also need to use her

 

[Last Man Standing]

Hey exam thief dude, she sees you as a college mate and not as a romantic interest - do not pursue her in a romantic way.

Sorry kid, but not everyone we want wants us.

 

[exwhyzee]

It sounds to me like he has just fallen for a different type of girl and believes that since she may be "different" that he can not treat her like any other girl he wants to apply DJ techniques to. I have made the same mistake in the past, one night I talked to this girl for 5 hours and the whole time we were finishing eachothers sentences, it seemed as if we were the same person, and I was really excited/attracted to her for it. The whole time I was thinking I should kiss her, and then I would tell myself that this girl is too cool to blow off with just a kiss, meaning I thought if I had just hooked up with her it would ruin what we had-sounds wierd and looking back on it, I look like an idiot hah. Well that was the dumbest thing I had ever done, I thought she was something different, and as many people put it I put her on a "pedestal". That was my mistake, I fooled myself.

Does everyone agree that it is never right to put a lady on a pedestal?

Also do you agree that even good girls like the one Ng-Ma described who does not drink, goes to bed early, and is reliegious, should be delt with the same way as any other girl?

 

[Ng-Ma]

Also do you agree that even good girls like the one Ng-Ma described who does not drink, goes to bed early, and is reliegious, should be delt with the same way as any other girl?

my thoughts exactly bro. im so confused. i really wanna give up cold turkey, but that annoying lil voice in my head wont let me. ****.

 

[LeviathanIYG]

I didn’t suggest a ****y routine, I didn't suggest any routines, I just told you not to be such a pus*y and not to put her on the pedestal. It is possible to make her like you so much that she gives you the tests anyway. You don't need to put her on the pedestal just for the test and if you think you do then be a man and make a fu*king choice.

Tests or Her.