You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
backbreaker said:actually left the shrink.
the real problem that I have is that I don't seem to have the abilty to reengage like most people do. what I mean like, take tomorrow. I don't have anything to do tomorrow for anyone. so i'll go to the gym in the morning, get to work, and work all day long fine usually
what kills me are days like today where I had to go to the shrink. then when I get back to work, i can't re engage in work. it's like whatever i do, has to be done in a straight task i can't stop once i stop i can't restart back.
she thinks it's anxiety related and wants to put me on lexipro or zoloft which i'm not apposed to at this point but i told her to give it another week and let me see with the newfound changes if they help any. one more week won't kill me
I thought that was how people in Silicon valley go to work? Going to Starbucks with jeans hahabackbreaker said:I generally keep business stuff off this forum but I have a question that I need to be answered by people who are not as over analytical as I am. I can't think of a place that has a bigger group of different types of personalities than here.
Okay as you know i own a web development company. A lot of our work comes from freelance related sites, we've been using 2 in particular for the last 3-4 years and our reputation alone on those sites brings in money.
Here is my problem; If I can sit down and actually work, we make money. But how can I explain this.. What I end up doing is I keep refreshing the sites every 30 minutes or so literally all day long because I'm afraid that If I'm not one of the first people to respond to a project we will lose out on the project. There's been a few projects over the years that we were perfect for that we just did not get because I did not respond fast enough.
It's to the point that I will start working fine but then, I find **** to keep me doing other stuff. Basically ADD type ****. I decide I want to take the wife out ot lunch out of the blue, I volunteer to pick joe up from school, I **** around here lol, I'll play a game of NCAA football. It's like I look for reasons not to work.
I don't think it's that i'm so much burned out on work as much as I think i'm burned out on sitting in front of my pc all day checking for new projects. Talking to clients, dealing with my programmers, putting proposals together, I love all that ****. but I HATE sitting in front of the pc all day looking for new projects
Then I Got this great idea. Why don't you just not check them all day, and when you get up in the morning, go to starbucks or whatever, sat aside 2-3 hours and just respond to people. Just the thought of doing that makes me happier. I can do that. I know I can do that. My responses will probably be better as well overall because I know this is the only time I have to do this today.
But I'm afraid that if I do that we will lose money. So the question I am posing is, if you were looking to hire a developer would you automatically throw out anyone who didn't respond within an hour or 2?
Malice said:You left the same shrink you have an appointment with on the 21st? Lexapro and zoloft. Can I give a LOL? That stuff does nothing. It's a placebo effect to trick the masses into believing they are feeling better. I honestly believe they sell a hundred dollar sugar pill and call them anti depressants.
Get something good or go home.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.