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Alpha Males Have Their Heads Up Their Asses

stockholder

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I'm a waiter. I work in a cafe which is more of club on friday evenings. On saturday evenings there are more people around my age 20-30. On fridays and saturdays I notice these guys who are so wrong about the dominant male concept. They are pathetic.

(In the following he=head up his ass alpha male Try not to be like this)

He makes all the decisions. All the time. The other pathetic chumps and women who are with him agree and even when they disagree they do not take action. He acts like he's the most social guy in the world. He always thinks the world revolves around him. Always wanting attention. Always ready to fight. He's also always aware that he is doing something confident. He keeps whining about other people whining without even realising that he is whining himself. He deals with people by attacking them (translation: he considers them and their opinions a threat.) He fights to compete or because he's angry. He is angry. He wants to prove himself all the time. He is competitive. He takes himself (plus his life) very seriously
Now the above is an alpha male. He's damn irritating but he's an alpha male. Does he get women? Some shallow *****es will fall for him. Even hot ones. The guys always protects his women. Always answers before she does and protects her right away.



Be like the guy below

Then you have those guys who only take charge when it is needed. He has decided that most things can be also decided by others and he is comfortable with it. When things go wrong or they way he dislikes he will take charge and decide. When he disagrees he'll tell the others about it. He will do the most confident thing in the world without even realising the courage it takes to do that thing. He will have faith in the woman and let her do her word during an arguement and will only protect her when she really needs it. He trust his woman and her ability to protect herself and will let her protect herself. At times he will even let her protect him. He never whines. He doesn't whine about other people who are whining. Instead he makes the people who are whining aware of the potential they have and makes them focus on that. He's always calm. Never attacks people (he doesn't consider them or their opinions a threat.) He fights because he has to. Not because he's angry or because he has to compete or something like that. He is indifferent. He does the things he does because he has to. He doesn't take himself (plus his life) too seriously.


It's your choice but please try not to be the I'm always confident alpha male. Instead be the I am who I am alpha male.

[This message has been edited by stockholder (edited 06-29-2002).]
 

SexPDX

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Very good post. It relates to what I have been saying lately is the problem with not seducing women directly, but rather relying on "alphaness" to attract them. I behaved a lot like the first guy you described for quite some time.

Nick

------------------
- The seductionist formerly known as trickynick

You either own the game or it owns you.

~"Pon atencion al latido de tu corazon...y el ritmo de tu respiracion...como te permites llegar a ser completamente llevada...por la conexion que esta tomando lugar." ~
 

MG69

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the latter is more like the DJ i am learnig to be.
 

ToileT()_)PapeR

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Stockholder I think you have the alpha male concept all wrong.

An alpha male knows he is dominant, therefore he does not set out to prove anything, he does not set out to grab attention ALL the time. All alpha males don't think that the world revolves around them, I don't.

I find this post very prejeduce. I am an alpha male, and I am FAR from what you describe me as. No I don't think the world revolves around me, I am not stupid. I can get any girl I want, but I am not some big headed ******* as you make me out to be.
 

Don Juanobi

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I saw a show on TV where they took a group of ppl and tested them on their leadership skills as they planned a hiking expedition. Some of the participants thought that if they gained control of the conversation, they would be more of a 'leader' these people were obviously trying to "win" in this test. they would yell out, argue about everything and come up with hundreds of ideas, and then argued on their merit.
The guys running the test said that a true leaders didn't yell out or tryed to be the center of attention the whole time. the true leaders came up with *actual* ideas, listens to others and helps the group solve their problem.

I think this applies to alphamaleness
To be an alpha male means to control YOURSELF not others.

Stockholder is bang-on with his assesment.
 

Nyx

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Wow, so true!
My bf always says that in order to be a leader you must let others lead sometimes. And letting others make decisions is *always* a good thing, provided one person is not walking all over everyone else.
 

MysteryWoman

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I can get any girl I want, but I am not some big headed ******* as you make me out to be. [/B][/QUOTE]

If you can get any girl you want why do you choose a name like toilet paper?
 

cyclonus

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Originally posted by MysteryWoman:
I can get any girl I want, but I am not some big headed ******* as you make me out to be.
If you can get any girl you want why do you choose a name like toilet paper? [/B][/QUOTE]

That is one of the funniest things I've ever read on this site.
 

Abbott

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Originally posted by MysteryWoman:
I can get any girl I want, but I am not some big headed ******* as you make me out to be.

If you can get any girl you want why do you choose a name like toilet paper?
Maybe because since he can get any girl, he
doesn't need to care about the screenname.
It's just whatever suits him. Mind you he's
crazy though. Once he called me gay though I
am not.

Abbott

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"To live a lie is to not really live." - Myself

E-mail: abbott@mtco.com

AIM: IamAbbott; Abbott4
Yahoo IM: IamAbbott
MSN IM: JollyAbbott@hotmail.com
Excite IM: CraziAbbott

Use AIM and Yahoo or E-mail in preference, those
I am on the most often.

[This message has been edited by Abbott (edited 07-12-2002).]
 

WildThang

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True story about alphaness:

Brit actor Bob Hoskins was starring in some gangsta heist-type movie, and for grins the production people hired a real Don (Mafioso, not Juan) as a consultant.

So there's one scene where BH is over-acting wildly yelling and screaming at people about what fvck ups they are and if they don't get their shyt together he's literally going to *kill* them.

And the Don guy calls him over and says:

'What are you doing?'

BH says: 'I'm letting them know I'm in charge.'

And the Don says:

'Look - they already *know* who you are. You don't *need* to prove anything to them. They already get how it is.'

And BH gets the hint and plays it more cool, more calm, more understated and *way* more effective after that.
 

indianDJ

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stockholder...excellent post....

i read ur post bfor...but failed to realise its importance
but today i encountered the first type guy that u mentioned...yeh a fake alpha male

we had been assigned group projects..with abt 8-10 in each group n had to put forth our views on it

but this guy wont let nyone speak...as soon as nyone was about to he would interfere n again say somethin watt he felt correct ..even though others disagreed

so how could i tolerate that kinda guy...n left the group..n this i watt i told him...
"i think its a group project n not individual project, i knoe u like to put in extra efforts, but sometimes let others have their say to n then we'll decide watts rite n watts not ...neways i cant continue with u...cyaa"
 

THE_ADDMAN

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I have no problem letting other people make decisions for me. so long as I approve of them. if the group decides to do something I wont enjoy, I'll either try to persuade them to change their minds, or say "see ya later".

Besides, why would you want to make the decisions all the time? too much work, in my opinion. One of my favorite analogies is to be like water.
Water always chooses the path of least resistance. It might not always take the most direct path (IE you might not always make the decision), but it always gets where its going (So long as other people's decisions lead you to your goals, whatever they may be, who cares?)
 

matygee

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I believe partly in what your saying about the Don Juan who knows hes in control and is calm and in control. But I believe if you can mix both of these don juan personas into one you can reap the most benefit. Being the energetic, angry ******* has its merits just don't pull it off all the time...and be calm the other 75% of the time if thats how you really are.
 

Doddy

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I agree 100% that one should always aim to be the latter example.
They are not even "Fake Alpha-males", the very term does a great disservice to true alphas who conform to the latter example. Just call these fakes - twa+s.

The title of this thread is misappropriate. It makes a blanket indictment about all alpha males which is not good at all. I ask people to title their threads better. I've seen threads that look like one thing and turn out to be another

Example:
How to be an Alpha-male

I want to know how to be an alpha male. What should i do?

Writing it like the example gives the impression its a tip, we have these things called ?????????? question marks. It wastes people's time. and don't flame me for being petty, i know its pett, I acknowledge that but I have a right to contribute to improve the way these boards are organised! lol
 

edmond

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You are mistaken

You are mistaken, what you see is Not an Alpha Male but an impersonator like you see in the animal kingdom. These are just insecure bums who hang out with people MORE pathetic, yes even MORE pathetic than themselves.
 

Boschy

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It comes back to what I read somewhere in one DJ theory text or other: people who are insecure get upset easily. If you're insecure, you cannot be alpha male. You're just immature brat and regularly overcompensate for your insecurity.

Anyway....alpha or not alpha. It's all semantics. Results and the esteem of others speak louder than arrogant behaviour and self-labeling.
 

azanon

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I agree with most of the others; that is no alpha male, that's a garden variety insecure man acting like insecure people do. A real alpha male has nothing to prove because there isnt much point to making the obvious, evident.
 

Marcopolo

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so what exactly is an alpha male anyway? What do you think is the definition of one? Perhaps there is more than one type of alpha male, or that people can have totally different ideas of what an alpha male really is.
 

ChrizZ

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Marcopolo said:
so what exactly is an alpha male anyway? What do you think is the definition of one? Perhaps there is more than one type of alpha male, or that people can have totally different ideas of what an alpha male really is.
My definition would be: An alpha male is someone that people love to be around and doesn´t take **** from anyone...
 
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