"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Alpha and Omega...for me...insight?

DanelMadr

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Hi, could you shed some light on my brain please I have one obstacle to conquer.

Do you know the mean tests? When a girl or an older very mature coworker says something disrespecting or mean to you and looks for your reaction? I think it is called neghits. Sometimes rude, sometimes less rude but they get your attention.

It doesn't phase me on core level but it still surprises me in a sense...wtf? Why would someone say something like that to another person?
It sends me thinking and honestly the whole thinking proccess throws me silent at least (I hope my mouth stay shut). I' otherwise quite witty with answers but I just stay stunned not believing such a disrespect.

The problem is I don't think I am much of an egoist and I generally don't care about other opinions on me. Or am I?

And I don't get it from girls I try to seduce mainly.

Example:

girl:"It looks like you are losing hair."
I really don't care about my hair line. But it sends me thinking about the disrespect - I wouldn't tell something like that to another girl - it might hurt her, make her uncomfortable. Why did she say that???

coworker: " You maybe made a mistake, he he. "
wtf. I wouldn't make comment like that about someone elses work, when I don't know him well or I don't know anything what a mistake in his work looks like.

Are they trying to joke with me to imply that we are closer friends. You can make fun like that with your friends you know - no harm done.

I believe these women are just witches spitting venom or implementing emasculating brain bombs.

Sometimes I tell them:"You should use a bucket for poisonous spit like that and everytime you have one in mouth, you should spit it in there."

But honestly, it throws me of balance more than I would like.

Any insight?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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xdreamz

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"you maybe made a mistake" is pretty damn charming compared to the other outlandish things a woman can say to try to throw you off your game. and they will say some damn mean stuff sometimes. just embrace it and channel it in your direction.
 

2crudedudes

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First, I'm not even sure what your thread title means. Second, you need to stop being so damn sensitive. Some people are imprudent. You just have to deal with that.
 

Zarky

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Keep in mind the original concept of "neg hits" -- and everyone seems to get this wrong -- is NOT about negativity, ie., insulting behavior.

A "neg hit," according to Mystery, the guy who came up with the idea, is an interaction with a woman that shows you are not at all interested in her sexually. This often involves mentioning something perhaps slightly unflattering, but in a matter-of-fact way.

His original example was to point at her hand and go: "Those are some nails, are they real?" This is not insulting, but it's sure not telling her how great she is. She then feels like she has to prove to you that she's cool.

The neg is an attempt to make her think you see her as just another person, NOT as a sexual object you're trying to win over.
 

DanelMadr

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2crudedudes said:
First, I'm not even sure what your thread title means. Second, you need to stop being so damn sensitive. Some people are imprudent. You just have to deal with that.
The title is just a catchy phrase to get your attention :] And it means that it is the only think I can't figure out in social dynamics.

Yeah, you may be right. But as I wrote, it does not touch me on personal level. It just makes me wonder and stunned about manners of some people.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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DanelMadr

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Zarky said:
Keep in mind the original concept of "neg hits" -- and everyone seems to get this wrong -- is NOT about negativity, ie., insulting behavior.

A "neg hit," according to Mystery, the guy who came up with the idea, is an interaction with a woman that shows you are not at all interested in her sexually. This often involves mentioning something perhaps slightly unflattering, but in a matter-of-fact way.

His original example was to point at her hand and go: "Those are some nails, are they real?" This is not insulting, but it's sure not telling her how great she is. She then feels like she has to prove to you that she's cool.

The neg is an attempt to make her think you see her as just another person, NOT as a sexual object you're trying to win over.
I shouldn't use the neg hit term. It has not much to do with this kind of rudeness. But thanks for explanation anyway. Appreciate it.
 
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