"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
All That Is Alpha - Tip Compilation (Ongoing)
- Thread starter muscleman
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Everything ultimately comes down to being productive vs. unproductive with your time - not just women. Any moment not spent improving is a moment forever lost.
Social media - while having limited uses - is more often than not utilized as a way to distract oneself from more productive, long-term beneficial pursuits.
Use very sparingly.
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If you're not getting a higher return for equal (or lower) investment over time, you're not improving.
This applies to everything: women, money, looks, fame/status, game.
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namismybabe
Don Juan
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A caveat - not by initiating it. But by curbing/stopping it when it occurs. An Alpha never lets anybody disrespect, belittle or abuse him, as an Alpha has self-respect and self-worth. Sometimes defence can lead to physical conflict, as one cannot control the actions of others after all.
Even if the Alpha responds civilly, others may react disproportionately.
I have a pretty big ego. Not the arrogantly overconfident kind, but rather I feel women should come to me.
They can, and they will - if you're worth it. So if you're like me, this self improvement stuff is for you - make yourself 'worth it'.
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Dedication
Senior Don Juan
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- 321
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On another note, I'm wondering if you could write something about social interactions. I'm interested in group dynamic and how an alpha male behaves inside of a group he just met, like inside a bar or club.
My study is indeed not pointless as it does touch on a lot, and some aspects are interesting to me. I'm currently following up on your advice to figure out what i could do and become when i'm done. Its pretty wide and catches a lot of jobs but not very specific, after i'm done i'm still required to learn the ins and outs of the specific job that i'm going to do. And if i figure out what i want to do i could start to get associated with people in those kinds of fields early on, and that is something i value.muscleman said:
My current job is me cleaning up the driving range from a golf course.
I consider it dead-end because:
- I do it alone, no social interactions at all.
- I do it after closing time, there are no people left when i'm there so there isn't even a chance to socialize.
- I work from monday to friday. From 19:45 to 21:15.
- No means of promotion or anything like that.
- Its just a kids job but i get paid like an adult.
The pro's of the job:
- its done in 90 minutes. And with done i mean from leaving my house to entering my house again.
- It pays well compared to the time i spend doing it. In fact, it pays everything and i'm still saving money.
- I'm free on the weekends.
So yeah, i'm looking to get into something that has me being social and has a potential carreer in it.
As for your job, yea that's a dead end, BUT here's something for you to consider:
1) There are 168 hours in a week. If you sleep 8 hours/night, that leaves you with 112 hours in a week. With this 15/hour a week job that pays ALL your bills, you are left with 97 hours EVERY WEEK. That's plenty of time for anything. Hell, that's enough time for another FULL TIME job if you want it. You're not that bad off.
2) Again, sounds like it's easy and pays the bills for low time investment. I see no reason not to keep it for now. Find another job that's more social and keep doing this for the extra $$. Naturally I recommend bartending as that's the most social job of all, but really it's whatever you're interested in. If that's too far of a stretch for you, go into sales (retail). You'll still get to interact with people (it's a step up) and a lot of places pay good commission so you'll learn to hustle.
3) Think long and hard about the 'career' path. Do you really want to do the SAME thing your entire professional life? Some people have that calling, I don't. I like mixing it up; I've always had multiple income streams (currently I bartend, do some IT/design work, am a landlord, and I do some odd jobs here at there as opportunities present themselves). People look at bartending like it's something menial and not serious, and to an extent they're right (I mean I'm no surgeon) but you can make decent $ doing it, and if you invest most of it you can have some sick residual income after a while. So, keep exploring.
Hope this helps.
Everyone is going to try to mold you for their purposes. Resist it.
This isn't about 'just be yourself', but rather 'just do what you really desire so you can become who you want' and keep it simple.
In other words, be a self made man.
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Dedication
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
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- 321
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I'd like to know your understanding on how to be a cool guy in a group. Regardless of leading or not, sometimes i have stuff to say and at other times i let people talk. I'd like to know how to be cool regardless of what i'm doing at the moment. I guess the best way for you to give feedback would be for me to record myself. But i ain't doing that haha.muscleman said:
When i talk I am a loud guy and people constantly react to me, either negative or positive. I also think that everything that happens is just funny, if i see somebody falling or bumping their head against somebody, even when they are strangers i just laugh out loud. Not in a demeaning way and i will help if they need it. Most people return the smile and understand that what just happened is just plain goofy.
Today I found myself in a situation where 2-3 people kept cracking jokes at me, i kept it cool, laughed back and teased (not really the right word) them back and made others laugh. I constantly get myself in these kinds of banters because of my obnoxious way of being. I've been feeling fantastic for the last couple of weeks since i quit my gaming addiction. But i'm afraid (not really
) that i will not care about others to such an extent that i'm litteraly just a ball of good emotions thats out of control.Thanks for the job advice, i'll think about it and comment later this week.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
I'm off to sling some dranks, but here's a quicky for today.
Men are expendable, women are perishable. This is hardwired in us, so accept it, stop complaining, and become higher value so you can get the big share.
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Dedication
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 26, 2008
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- 321
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- 11
I've done some thinking and there are directly 3 points that stick out.muscleman said:
1. Since i'm feeling so great almost all the time, i smile a lot and walk around with a big smile. <> I'll replace this with a playful devilish smile. The big smile will be used when the situation calls for it.
2. When i get excited about the story i want to tell i become so loud that everybody in the vicinity can hear me. <> I'll have to calibrate my volume according to the group of people and the distance between us.
3. I sometimes spontaneously run from A to B in the middle of the street or on the trainstation. Without reason, just because it feels great. <> I'll walk, slower if i have to. Because i'm in control of my time, there is no need to hurry at all. Besides, i don't want to become sweaty and smell bad when i get intimate.
I'm new to this higher testosterone energy, sometimes it feels like i'm bursting. I really want to calibrate it and use it in a way that will help me reach my goals.
As a side note: From reading your blog i get the feeling that you (muscleman) are an extrovert. A man who doesn't have any problem with his verbal game. Enough stories to tell and holding the attention of a group with ease. Haha, let me know what you think.
It's awesome that you feel great, don't get me wrong, but temper it a little and channel it to productive endeavors.
As for introversion/extraversion, that's fairly complex. People aren't really either one; everyone has certain intro/extra qualities. I wouldn't say I don't have any problems with my verbal game. I mean, I don't stumble anymore if that's what you're saying, but I'm not a smooth talker 100% of the time. Generally, if I don't have something to say, I just keep my mouth shut and it's served me well thus far. Then again, it's all about practice, practice, practice. I built MASSIVE social skills doing personal training/sales/bartending because you're interacting with strangers - sometimes over 100 in a day - constantly.
In my longest post to date, I talk about how to get over your ex, step by step.
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Dedication
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 26, 2008
- Messages
- 321
- Reaction score
- 11
Thanks for the advice, if i could rep you i would do so again.muscleman said:
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
The other night I had a 'run in' with television with a girl I'm seeing.
It was awful and made me realize how vapid ALL of it is, and how you're better off doing just about anything else.
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As a man, the laws are stacked against you.
The only path to victory is to become as alpha as feasible (for you) and wage the only war that works today - psychological.
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Quick tip today before I'm off to work:
How to say no. With a certain mindset/philosophy, it becomes incredibly easy.
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I predict all female readers will immediately 'get' this, and hopefully a few male readers as well.
One of the most common, most overlooked, yet most important components of a developing relationship is being there for her when she wants to open up about important things (not to be confused with day to day complaining).
Do it and she'll fall in love with you.
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After reading a page a night of these for the last couple days I was gutted to come to the end but now I've got another to read.Cheers for taking the time to right these muscleman, highly appreciated.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.