Alex's journal to becoming a better man

[AlexParadox]

so after posting several entries into my journal over on the high school forum, and recieving ONE REPLY. i decided i need to repost here on the general discussion. Hopefully with more feedback/ critisicm.


Name:Alex
Age: 16
Personal Assesment on Don Jaun level (10 being the best): 7
Mission:
to become a better man, person, and womanizer.

Hello students and don juans of sosuave.net, my name is alex and this is my journal to taking a few extra steps up the ladder of life. Whats the point of me writing down my observations/experiances/challenges?
well one day i was in the car with my mom getting driven somewhere, and i saw the local running club out on their usual route. ****ily I commented:
"whats the point of paying money to go run around the block?"
my wise mother replied:
"That's not the point Alex, the point is a simply setting yourself up for a sort of peer pressure. So if one day you dont feel like running and bail, your conscience will bug you in the knowledge that you should have gone, and people aren't going to be impressed that you bailed. In other words, making a commitment"

So if you haven't figured out already, i'm trying to almost force myself to get better, to beat laziness, and to not let down the french guy living in new york who might be following my progress.

a little about me:
Im 6'2, 150 pounds (tall and skinny.. but come on, im 16)
ive got a very "model look" face, that has scored me a modeling agency in vancouver. ive got green eyes that girls love to comment on saying how pretty they are.
in other words: im the above average looking guy

girls have never been a big problem for me, im not a virgin, ive been seeing girls regularly since middle school, no girl intimidates me, and im constantly seeing someone or have a fvck buddy somewhere.

so whats the problem, you ask?
well, the real problem is, im not exactly exposed to a constant pool of new resources (girls). I go to a small (450 people) traditional school (in other words: uniforms, emphasis on education, horrible sports teams, and tons of nerds) where the majority of students are hard core nerdy, with a small percentage that are either rebels forced by their parents to go, or normal kids who have kissed the opposite sex, play sports, and actually do something other then school in their spare time. no new kids ever really show up, its not a private school, and the same group of kids have been in this school system since kindergarten (i joined up in grade 6... actually more like my mom joined me up)
bottem line: no attractive girls
honestly, the few attractive ones (three in total), are my close friends who id probly go crazy without.

as for work, i work at a amusement park in walking distance from my house,
specifically i work on go karts as the head operator for the building. In other words: no opportunity for approaching on job.

well enough about the b!tching.
what i want to work on?

-getting out more, without my friends, so i have opportunities to make moves
-expanding my pool of attractive girls from other schools so i can slowly make my way into dating numerous girls from other schools
-staying in the "zone", in other words: being suave in my life in what i do everyday
-finding zen everyday so i dont loose my head (i meditate daily)
-completely stop masturbating (i have streaks of up to 2-3 weeks, but then a failed shagging will end up with me jerking it once i come home to relieve my anxiety)
+what ever else i can think of as i continue forth

how am i gonna achieve this?
-regular posts with (hopefully) regular feedback and criticism
-setting goals
-have a weekly schedule of uplifting reading material
+what ever else i can think of as i continue forth

Dead line:
as long as it takes

 

[AlexParadox]

The playa mentality:

-Girls are never priority
girls should never consume your whole week. have a life, dont just read a couple article on here and decide to commit the rest of your life to girls. It makes you look less desperate and more interesting. Imagine what a stunner would be thinking when you turn down a date to go play basketball with some buds, total ego shock. And if you have been doing your homework: will make her want you more since you are now a challenge

-You are the sh!t, and no one is gonna tell you otherwise
You are THE MAN, a special individual with total confidence in himself and everything he does. Girls can sense real confidence, pulling it off is not as hard as you think. If you dont look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself either of the following (everyone has there own spin):
A) im one good looking guy!
B) im THE man!
C) these girls better be ready to get to know mr.sexy!
then you need to work on inner game (the examples are just to give you a idea)

its a proven mental trick that if you constantly say: i can/will do it, instead of i may/might/maybe do it. Your chances of succeeding are greater

-

"What’s the problem I don’t see no ring on your hand"

all girls are on the market, boy friend or not
never feel like girls with boyfriends are off limits, remember: you are THE MAN, nothing should stop you.

-never focus on one girl
there should always be multiple interests, so that if one day your out with girl A, and things turn sour. Your not gonna be beating yourself about it, cuz you know that you can call up girl B and have a great time.

-Never think the relationship will last (ALLWAYS have a backup girl)

-theres ALLWAYS someone better
Dont cry over losing a girl. On the flipside, the girl should be crying over you.

-Allways look fly
if you look in the mirror and dont think you look good, keep trying on different things untill you think you are gonna get comments from girls (good comments)

along with looking good, dont forget about the other senses
you should smell good as well, your hair must be washed daily, wear deodorant or anti perspirant.

-Dont take sh!t
if a girl is giving you a hard time, or is doing something you dont like. grow a pair and do something about it. you are THE MAN, you dont take sh!t from girls.

-Dont stop when you start dating
this happens often:
boy gets girl, boy stops being in the "game" cuz he feels safe and secure, stops flirting with girls, stops being THE MAN. Allways be expanding your horizon with new girls or "potential girls".

-Label girls as soon as you meet them
girls you meet should be organized into the following:

NO POTENTIAL
these are the uglies, who make good friends. which in turn can introduce you to hotter girls

POTENTIAL
these are the girls who potentialy could be interested in you, or you potentialy can start something with her. These are the girls with boyfriends, girls who are DTF (down to fvck) but arnt the hottest.

TARGETS
these are the girls who you are looking for, the ones that you dream of being in relationships with, or that you dream of one night stands with. These are the girls you try to focus on.

 

[AlexParadox]

So my biggest goal recently is just getting to know/chatting/small talk random girls
in the dj bootcamp its one of the few babysteps:
something along the lines of just saying hi to random people girls or not.

well im gonna take it further
so my goal right now is just to talk to attractive girls ive seen. Sometimes i find that it works even better then you would think. Since the girl most likely (if you look like a creeper, arn't confident enough) is gonna throw up a b!tch shield, shes gonna be stunned that all you want to do is small talk, no seduction, no anything. Your just an alpha male passing through

today's report:

Going to the grocery store, see this hb8 working as cashier
as she finishes helping the last customer, i approach with the stuff i bought
Alex: looks like your having fun *sarcastically with a sly smile*
hb8: *sigh* yeah, tell me about it
Alex: well i work on go karts at such and such, so it defiantly doesn't compare
hb8: *smiles* yeah no kidding, how much are you getting paid there?
Alex: well not braging or anything, but such and such
hb8: hah well your pobably do more there then here
Alex: hah *looks at other cashiers looking bored working* yea no kidding, do any guys work as cashier? (all the cashiers were girls)
hb8: no, the hiring manager is sexist only hires girls
Alex: ah
*finishes the debit payment*
Alex: (noticing that other people came to pay) aright have a good one *smile*
hb8: Yeah you too
as i walk away i force myself not to look back as if small talk with gorgeous girls happens daily, i can tell she was checking me out

debriefing:
-shoulda closed the conversation with: dont have too much fun!
-will probably drop by again sometime next week with something along the lines of:
You again?! I thought you would have quit and tried applying at my work after hearing what i was making! *shocked face*

pros:
-oozed confidence, everything was casual and easy going
-opportunity for a "next time"

cons:
-no real opportunity for any kind of kino, or eye contact
-not enough time

summary:
bad location for any further talk, but hey probably made her shift worth it. Since how many guys would even attempt a conversation with the gorcery store clerk.

the same day evening, my friends and i were stopping by a gas station as we are pulling in i see a two hb7's and a hb6, one hb7 was riding a sweet pink bike.
as we approach the doors they show up

Alex: that is SUCH A COOL BIKE
hb7: haha thanks
Alex: like seriously, tell me where you got it!
hb7: blah blah blah (out of town)
Alex: gah, too far, but i want one!
group: *laughs*

as we exit, the girls are still in line, i notice the one who had the bike was checking me out as i was leaving
Alex: *loud whisper* im gonna steal it from you!
hb7: haha

debriefing:
-after the cashier convo during the day, i just wanted to talk to more girls. There was no real motivation to take it further but to just have a fun light convo

pros:
-fun and light
-got the whole group's interest

:rockon:

 

[AlexParadox]

*bump*

 

[Quiksilver]

Stay on track bro!

The way I do what you are doing is to divide my life into 2 month chunks. Write down a bunch of things you want to get done in your life/month/week/day. It could be **** like learning a new language, reading a particular book, meeting a certain number of people, making a certain amount of money, buying that new thing for your room, whatever. Set out 4 or 5 things you want to achieve by the end of your timeframe, and work the achievement of each thing into every single day.

That way, every day of the week you're taking small baby steps towards your goals, instead of putting them off putting them off putting them off until it's too late.

Here are the goals I set out when I started:

- Buying new wardrobe
- Starting at the gym
- Eating clean every day(no eating out, etc)
- Getting to sleep at the same time every day/waking up early.
- Meet 8 girls.

By the end of the 2 months, I'd achieved all of those goals, and set up some great habits for life.

The next two months:

-Improve voice projection/public speaking
-Gain 8lbs of muscle, lose 8lbs of fat
-Eat a set healthy highprotein diet every day, no more alcohol
-Read 48 Laws of Power
-Meet 8 girls.

See how it works? Work the achievement of every goal into your each day of the 8 week period.

Just keep finding **** you want to get better at or **** that you suck at, and get better at them.

cheers

 

[DirtSlam]

I enjoyed that, reads well. Keep posting man.

 

[AlexParadox]

Hey thanks for the responses guys,
Quicksilver i like what your doing,
ill definitely consider doing something like that!

 

[AlexParadox]

Food for thought

So i was hanging out with this guy i almost consider an older brother, hes a family friend, and a fellow russian. Hes 20 years old, and was stopping by to see some friends.

Friend: Can i give you a piece of advice about woman?
Alex: Yeah
Friend: Girls all different, but there all equally crazy

we were talking about some girl problems:

Friend: your at the top of the iceberg right now, im 20 years old and im only 4 feet bellow you, and you'll never reach the bottem, cuz you'll die once your like 10 feet down.
when guys are like: ive got girls figured out
im like: yeah fvckin right!

 

[rushing dude 123]

In my opinion ur very good for ur age, but u want to expand ur pool of girls, best advice i can give u is take up loads of new hobbies and b social where ever u go. So maybe u can take up dance, pool, Gym, sailing, acting etcc.... whatever u like. That way u can build up a skill u enjoy and ur djing skills at the same time. This should b interesting for u, seeing u r in highschool, so this things r always open for u and r encouraged.

 

[AlexParadox]

after a long time of no updates here's my "end of summer update"

so this long weekend my friend took me and another one of our buddies to his trailer at a camp ground nearby.
we arrived thursday after noon, and left monday afternoon.

thursday night we go to the field where all the teens go to hangout and drink.
i meet a girl in no time: this girl was a year older then me, and a good hb8, I flirt and neg, and within 20 mins i had singled her out and we wentfor a walk to a bench some distance away.
i knew that i could get some action, or even a make out. But remembering that i had ALL weekend to game this girl I decided to take it slow. So we ended up harsh flirting, snuggling and getting to know eachother.

next day we barely see each other during the day, and as night came she ends up being much more drunk then the previous day.
She is basically all over to me, introducing herself to people then introducing me as "her's". Once again i knew i coulda banged her, but i knew i had 2 more nights. I took it slow. That night she complained how she didnt like that i was flirting with her friend (jealousy). Made out alot then went home.

next day the guys i was with befriended her friends and we hung out as a group. I would try to start up conversations with her, but she seemed so out of it. answering with short, closed answers. I wasnt getting any feed back, so for the rest of the time i ignored her. As night came, as predicted. She was drunk, more drunk then all the other nights. and more all over me. That night again, she reaked of jealousy. Since we hadnt talked at all during the day, i thought we were done and had opened up two blonde babes that evening. She storms in and pulls me away saying stuff like:
"oh so when im not looking your gonna go and flirt with two girls? well im gonna go flirt with two guys then"
i blew her off, telling her she can do what she wanted and returned to my new blonde opportunities.
Long story short, she ends up puking like crazy and i take care of her the whole night. which included carrying her half a mile to washrooms to clean up, then napping together in the "youth room" followed by me carrying her to her trailer with her consistently saying how much she loved our nap and would love to just spend a day sleeping with me (she was much more sober).

now you can say what you want about my choice to take care of her, i was actually about to leave cuz she was way to fvcking drunk for my liking, but i felt sorry for her. Since ive been in that position many times: alone puking. I knew her drunk friends wouldnt help her. So i decided to be a "person" instead of the "i dont give a damn" type.

the next day i see her again, first thing i do is come up, give her a big hug and kiss her on the head. No response, no thank you, no good morning. Our groups hung out again, and once again i attempted to open conversations with her, and once again no response. so i ignored her again untill the evening. I told her the previous night when she sobered up to not drink again the next day since it was the last night and id hate to see her like that again. She took my advice. and with it, she avoided me the whole night and walked off with some other guy.

Shocked and confused I stayed optimistic and spent the rest of the night flirting with all the girls there (no scores). After that, i did not see her again. We left the camp the next morning, my arms still sore from that long walk with her in my arms a few nights back and my mind racing back and forth wondering if i had been used as a "boy toy" or if she was too embarrassed that i had taken care of her that night so well.

any theories gentlemen?

 

[HandyAndy]

This is sweet man, I want to follow this

 

[YoungSir4sho]

Good thread. Here's ur mistake and a lot others on this site...


When u get the opprutunity to hit wit the girl aka have sex then do it. I mean yea u thought logically thinkin u have all weekend to hit. No man don't think that way. Wats with a lot of guys on here thinkin u got everythin sorted out lol. When u get a chance hit. Wat if u don't like how she hits or she don't like it? All of that wasting time for nothing then. Next time when given an opprotunity to have sex take it unless u not in the mood...

 

[AlexParadox]

Good thread. Here's ur mistake and a lot others on this site...


When u get the opprutunity to hit wit the girl aka have sex then do it. I mean yea u thought logically thinkin u have all weekend to hit. No man don't think that way. Wats with a lot of guys on here thinkin u got everythin sorted out lol. When u get a chance hit. Wat if u don't like how she hits or she don't like it? All of that wasting time for nothing then. Next time when given an opprotunity to have sex take it unless u not in the mood...

i totally agree,
it was basically my lesson of the weekend:
if you get the chance, take it!

i was just worried that things may not be the same the next day if i went through with it. But fvck it, ill be happy with the fact that i tapped that

lesson learnt

 

[AlexParadox]

Gentlemen, i think ive gained another step up my ladder of become the guy i want to be.

Latley ive just stopped caring.

woah, hold on. Did i just say: ive stopped caring?
Yes you read right. I dont give a fvck anymore.
I beat to my own drum now, i have my own ideas and opinions that i stick to. I have my own preferences that i choose. I dont care if this hottie likes me, i dont care if she doesnt like my preferences or choices. I dont care that shes giving me all these "signs of interest".
I have no burning desire to fvck, or to date.
but when i want to, i dont hesitate and wait for approval. I get what i want, and if she doesnt want to.
I say: "girl, you dont want to? im sorry for wasting your time, ill call up someone else."

i feel like a free soul. I dont chase girls, i dont even brag about the fvck i had over the weekend. If someone asks, of course ill let them know.

Inner game, as I mature, i believe more and more in. Its truly the don juan philosophy: woman are merely a small portion of your life.

I treat all girls i meet the same now, from ugly to hot. Like my friend said in my previous post:
Friend: Girls are all different, but there all equally crazy
I enjoy meeting ugly girls, they are the ones who stay true to themselves and have the greatest and colorful personalities.

I dont wake up in the morning with the desire to pick up some babes and get laid.
And you know what? Im happy.
Girls cause nothing but problems, guy friends are the ones who last, the ones who are always there. Now ive had many many many close girl friends, but having girls as friends is never the same as having solid guy friends. Now i normally dont enjoy the company of other men (yes i said it), but my 3 closest guy friends keep me sane, and are the ones i go to when i want to let some steam off. These 3 are the ones who dont become jealous of me (they get the pvssy as well), who support me no matter what, who i argue with but in the end will always be my brother from another mother.

Ive found with this peace of mind of not caring. Girls are at my finger tips, almost to the point of begging to be with me.
After reading:
The Truth About Woman - librito
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=83349
and old posts from dbot
like:
its not that complicated, people
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=93139

Ive begun to see these posts as absolutely true. getting some really isnt that hard. The hard part is making the "day after" last.

Im becoming the womanizer that im striving to be.
its so corny, but honestly james bond is what we all need to strive to be like:
Smooth, Cool, Has many other interests, and when he wants to (note: when he wants to) gets some pvssy.

Im so much happier everyday when im happy with myself and who i am. I have goals, i achieve, and am successful in my life. I walk with confidence and don't try to impress girls or brag about myself. Yet i still constantly get labeled as a player, or ladies man.

Once you stop caring about what other people think, you will be truly happy with yourself. When you trully dont care about what a girl thinks about you, you can become Casanova. When you dont worry about "oh what if doing such and such will turn her off" you can truly get what you want with girls.

 

[Aragon034]

Awesome dude.

Just awesome.

 

[AlexParadox]

Fundamentals of Staying "high"

Now this isn't a entry about drugs. We all go through highs and lows in our life, especially in the dating world. You go from feeling like your the biggest man on the block with all the attention in the world, to believing that you never did change and you're still at the bottom of the food chain.

Now what if you could improve your chances to never reach the "bottom of the sh!tter"?

what im talking about is building up the fundamentals in your life, so that when the earthquake comes, there is at least something still standing to keep you up.

Doctor Vishal P. Rao writes:

Have you ever wondered how most infants are extremely happy almost all the time? Physical discomfort can make them cry for a while but such aspects are transient and last for only a few minutes. The reason why infants are almost always in a state of natural happiness is because they are in constant awe of nature and the world around them. Unfortunately, it is the society, parents, friends, teachers and relatives that influence them with regards to what happiness should mean.

Alex: Hey nerd, why so sad?
Nerd: I'm x years old, i'm still a virgin, and still cant seem to get a girlfriend!
Alex: If you had a girlfriend would you be that much more happy?
Nerd: Yes, its the one thing in my life that I'm missing!
Alex: and why is that?
Nerd: well come on, look around, i'm the only one who is still left in the dust at my age. I watch all these soap operas and movies getting depressed every time the hero gets the girl!

Is a girlfriend the key to your happiness? Is the allure of sex enough to keep you happy for the rest of your years?

Vishal P. Rao continues:

* Accept yourself – One of the key reasons why people are unhappy is that they do not really like or love themselves enough. It is essential that you accept yourself as what you are without any caveats and conditions to attain happiness. Don't get too critical about yourself – your looks, your brains, your capabilities or your financial condition. Just learn how to love yourself as you are. You will realize that once you are comfortable with what you are, others will accept you more willingly.

* Happiness is a state of mind – It is important that you understand and appreciate that your happiness lies within. Consider this – no one can make you unhappy if you have decided for sure that you will be happy in every situation. If you have made up your mind to be happy, you can always seek out the positive aspects of a situation and remain happy. Life may throw challenges at you but solutions will come faster and to you if you face them with a smile on your face.

* Prioritize your life
– As we grow older, the demands that various people and circumstances they lay on us increase. While on the one hand your job pressures increase, you may also feel the need to spend time with your family and children. At the same time, you may also want to enjoy life personally by doing the things that you have always wanted like going to the gym or taking off on a mountaineering trek.

It is important that you learn how to balance the various responsibilities that you may have. If any one of these tasks becomes paramount, you are likely to ignore the others. For example, if you get extremely preoccupied with your work, you family life are likely to miss you. On the other hand, if you are too consumed with your plans for your various hobbies, your job and family are likely to suffer. You may achieve momentary happiness but neither of these situations can result in happiness in the long run.

* Take care of your health – an unhealthy body cannot be the home of a happy mind. It is important that you understand the strong link between physical health and mental happiness. If you are fit and healthy, you are likely to exude positive energy.

* Stay in the company of happy people – Ensure that you seek out people who are happy and cheerful all the time. Being in the company of people who have a habit of cribbing and criticizing is likely to divert your mind towards negative thoughts. Avoid getting into the sulk mode by choosing the company of happy people.

* Be grateful – Saying a small "thank you" for what you have can make a lot of difference. When you make it a habit to be grateful, you seek out the things that you do have. This helps you divert your mind from negative thoughts of what you do not have. This does not mean that you give up trying. On the other hand it encourages you to think of future goals and achievements in a positive manner.

Examples:
Happiness is a state of mind – Outside forces should not affect what you think of yourself. Try waking up every morning, looking in a mirror and telling yourself: "hey I'm an awsome guy!"

Confidence ties in here, the belief that you can. When you fail, do not take it to heart. Remember theres always tommorow: failure is just a bump on the road to success.

Prioritize your life – Woman should never be priority number one. Just as the article states:
You may achieve momentary happiness but neither of these situations can result in happiness in the long run.
Balance is key. This is a hard concept to grasp at first when you are starting.

Don't drop sports/hobbies for more "girl time", stay with your hobbies and interests. Don't have any? At least go and try something to see if you like it. Many classes offer free one day/week trial periods before you pay. Pick something up.

So when your experiencing a "woman initiated low", you can remind yourself how many other things you have been sinking your teeth into.

Take care of your health –
This is pretty self explanatory. Most people get "lows" from feeling insecure about their body. Even if you are not seeing results or change from any physical activities you do, be happy with the fact that you are trying.

Feeling great about your health is a confidence booster.

Your build isnt the only thing that fits into "taking care of health": Not smoking, not doing drugs, and not abusing alcohol fits in here.

Stay in the company of happy people – The ones who never cheat on you, cause you troubles, or make you confused. A good friend, or group is one of the best ways to keep you feeling good about yourself. The high you feel after making each other laugh, or doing something together is unbeatable, because you know this person has proven his/herself to you as someone you can trust, talk to about anything, and be there for you no matter what.

Be grateful – stop right now and think about what are you grateful for? When you are in a low, remember these things. Think about past achievements and remind yourself that you are a great person. This is hard to do during a low. But if you continually stop every so often and think about what you have achieved and have, be thankful and smile.

Lows are hard to deal with, like when you feel alone. That you cant really trust anyone, or feel almost worthless. But build on your fundamentals of non-woman happiness.

inner game is huge. I believe in 10% "tricks and techniques" and 90% "inner game". You hear it everywhere, from the military, to sports and martial arts. How the physical aspect is so small to the mental aspect. You can use all the gimmicks you have, but without solid confidence from being happy you will find limited success.

Good luck to everyone on this site. I hope you all find the light. :rockon:

 

[AlexParadox]

It kinda disappointments me that it took me 2 months to post again. But its never too late to start again.

Life has been swell, and now ive decided i would seriously make a commitment to working out. No more "working out" just for the sake of saying i did, to please something inside of me.
Im on a mission, and that's to gain weight. And its not for girls, but its a personal mission to once again improve the things about me that need improvement.