Alex's Journal: Sort it out son

[Cloud-uk]

28 October 2004
Ok.

So, I thought I knew my ****. I was wrong.

I figured I'd learnt enough from here, and that I should do the right thing and leave. This site rocks, it totally showed me how to sort out my life. I did that whole changeing thing. ****, I am confident, and I have so much ambition and drive.

So, with the transition from AFC to Don Juan complete, looking at my life, my new friends, my new school, ahhhhhh! You have no idea how ****ing good that felt! Well, actually I'm sure you all do. You're DJs, lets not forget.

So this year I though I'd kick it into overdrive. I decided not to drop any A levels, and to work my ass off in all of them. I decided that this is my last year of school. Getting by with copying homeworks, just putting in enough effort to stay on track was not ****ing good enough. I'm a ****ing Don Juan! I want to be smart- ****ing smart! No more copying homeworks, hello extra essays! This boy is walking out of here with straight As!

I'm sure someone once said that being a Jack of All Trades sucks.

Keeping this to the point... I managed it. First report came though this week. Predicted straight As. ****ing excelent. Pleased as a dog with two ****s. Thing is I've also managed to kill my energy, and I've neglected a whole bunch of other stuff in my life.

Girls being one of them.

In short: I thought I was really clever, ditched this site, showed I have determination and drive to do pretty ****ing well at stuff, but also showed that I am an arrogant fool who forgot that you never stop learning.

I'm a proper idiot, and I need to get my terrible love life, appalling energy levels, and general mack back on track. If I'm a Don Juan, which is just a name but means a lot to me, I've got to start acting like one, not just like some arrogant prick.

I'm going to keep this as a diary. I had a physical diary but I stopped writting in it when the work piled on.

I don't expect it to be very exciting, but I need to do this or I'll just wind up in a 9 to 5 job with a lot of ambition but nowhere to put it. Then i'll get frustrated and maybe flip out or something.

Ok, this coming week I'm going to:

A) Give my driving test (a week on monday) the best shot I can. I need this to say "**** you" to public transport and shortern my working/traveling hours, and increase my independance. This will be achieved by ditching some of school the first week back so i can practice and have more lessons. I will make this work up, and it will be worth it in the long run.

B) Clear the girl slate. There is a bunch of girls I fancy, but I'm sure I'm sending out friends vibes. So first I'll just make a deffinate move on all of them to prove I actually have a pair of balls, and then I can sort out my whole attitude (problem).

By the way, my name is Alex Lacy. I'm an upper 6th year student who hopes to get better by admitting he ****s up occasionally (frequently?) and sorting it out. With help.

Cheers for reading, I hope I can become the guy I want to be.

Edit: Please call me alex, it's my name, I don't need another one.

 

[jonny football hero]

Hey Alex. Good to see you back. I'm Tom by the way.

I just realised the same thing as you. I'm gonna try and be a whole lot better. Good luck.

 

[Cloud-uk]

Cheers mate, good luck to you too. Now, I'm off to town to reawaken my cold-pickup skills. The sex pest will return (na na na na tuch my body )

 

[Wonderbread166]

Hey, since we're all giving out names, I'm Lucas.

Good to have you back, and good luck with getting the mack back on track.

 

[JSH]

lol, good luck, although i find i spend hours updating these things

 

[comic_relief]

Originally posted by JSH
lol, good luck, although i find i spend hours updating these things

My online journal takes me about an hour a day to write everything out. I have been going since July 18th. You do the math on how much life I lost on updating that journal. (update daily)

 

[Cloud-uk]

1st November 2004

Made some progress, had a fun end to half term. Halloween parties and so forth. Now I'm on my inset day, and I've just done a bit of driving. Mostly in hench traffic jams.

Anyway, time to put a bit of a time limit on myself- I'm going to try and get a noticable improvement by december 17th- that gives my half a term to undo half a term of gurggling madness.

So, this week will mostly be spent driving and getting rejected. Next week will mostly be spent in art exams and smoking, perhaps looking like a don in my jacket and scarf. Perhaps the week after that I'll be dangling my nob in blomonge.

I'm going to have to get my act together on the girl front too, that'll be my No. 3 after I clear the slate. I've also got to keep my work upto a good standard. Speaking of that I'm off to write an essay on the semantics of brain states and mind states. Ho hum.

This blog evidently needs some sex in it. I'll got get some to put in. Be back in a bit.

 

[Cloud-uk]

2nd November 2004

Right, driving is going well- might actually pass on monday. If I do I'm expecting congrats from everybody, so get them ready.

On cleaning the girl slate, there's one girl who I wouldn't say I have one-itis over, but I need to sort out. Meh, she was being flirty, I think she fancied me. Course I was too workworkwork to do anything about it.

Anyway, I figured I need to do something beautifully Alex. Sure, maybe the time has past, but I need to crash and burn in style! "So- how about we ruin our friendship and go out sometime?" Hell, a no is on the cards, but I'll have an audience, and it'll be funny. When did rejection become something men fear? Why does it have to be something we have to grin and bear? Death is frequently ****-yourself hilarious, and some girl telling you to bugger off is nothing compared to that.

So thursday i get rejected for the first time in a while, and I'm looking forward to many more in the future.

1) Pass Driving Test
2) Get Rejected
3) Keep upto date with work

 

[Cloud-uk]

6th November 2004

OWWW! Fireworks night last night, so I thought hey! Lets go out drinking with the boys. Get to walton station and this guy is getting harassed by these two girls for a cigarrette. They start getting violent so I intervene. One of the little *****es bites me! On my ****ing eye!. ****ing hurts. Still, it was right infron of the CCTV so hopefully the filth will catch up with the little slag.

So after cleaning myself up it was too late to meet up in guildford, which throughly pissed me off.

But I got home, made a few calls, got a few "awwww you alright hun? blah balh blah I'm drunk" calls from female friends, and then the doorbell rings.

Two random girls who i hadn't spoken too in ages are on the other side, just in the area and wanting to see how I am. So I end up going down to a few dirty old man pubs down the road. Actually had quite a laugh. One girl, who i know quite well, is so damn annoying i wouldn't touch her with a big stick, the other, who I hadn't met before, was alright. 7. I just wasn't feeling anything off her, maybe because I'd made the worst first impresion ever:-

"Hey, I'm Alex, sorry about the blood, some girl bit me."

It's ok, I got the impression she was alergic to fun. What do you guys do though, personally if I give it a go and there is no connection or raport with a girl I just leave it, anyone beg to differ?

Anyway, driving test on Monday -shiiiiit- and hopefully tonight I'll get out and do what I ment to do yesterday. For shame. Anyway, all my mates are panicing over UCAS and ****, and I have a mock art exam monday and tuesday, so everything is pretty hectic at the moment. I think I need lunhc. I could do witha ******* too actually. Oh well, one step at a time...

I don't believe she ****ing bit me....

 

[JSH]

lol, big time, you got bit in the eye by a girl, how did she manage that. See, trouble is, I might have decked her back.

Anyway, nice to know that you are trying to pull yourself together.

My fireworks night was crumby, but i got a big fireworks show tonight. Give me a ring, if your ever in london and maybe we can meet up.

 

[LikRetsam]

Bit by a girl... You do know I would show no restraint in sending her to the morgue right?

 

[Cloud-uk]

That's what i would have said. Seems I still have inhibitions about beating the crap out of girls. Irritating fact of life that no matter what you think, what counts is what you do on the night. You can think that you would break her jaw, but when it actually happens you just don't do it.

 

[JSH]

Originally posted by Cloud-uk
That's what i would have said. Seems I still have inhibitions about beating the crap out of girls. Irritating fact of life that no matter what you think, what counts is what you do on the night. You can think that you would break her jaw, but when it actually happens you just don't do it.

sounds about true; I mean i say i would hit a girl back and if one i know slaps/punches me, ill tap her back (tiny warning one), good kino. But i dont know what i would actually do if a girl properly attacked me. It happened before when i was younger and i got beaten the **** out of myself because i would not hit her back as my friends said that that was against the laws of the playground.

 

[Cloud-uk]

lol, well, I guess I just have to enjoy these little shame trips as a way of becoming humble . It's actaully not that bad, I just like being a little ***** occasionally.

Anyway I'll give you a ring if I swing by london anytime soon. I probably will actually, I well wanna see that "the producers" mel brooks thing. Nazis are ****ing funny.

 

[Cloud-uk]

10th November 2004

OH MY ****ING GOD! This ***** is coming back!!!! Today, I got rejected for the first time in ages- and I've never felt happier!

I am on such a high right now, but today I have had more fun, felt more alive than I have in ages! ****, it feels so great!

Ok, so I got rejected by this girl, and I got so much respect for it- I never expected that. I didn't think about it, but it was right infront of everyone, and all the guys admired the guts in it. ****. Never thought of it that way.

Perhaps I think too negative- as in I'll be a ***** if I don't do it, rather than I'll be a legend if i do. Hmmm...

Anyway, then I did a good weights session in the lunch break, helped a mate try to pull, he's very shy, and he wanted me to hand a note to this girl saying he liked her. Meh, i know, I did tell him to talk to her, but men make their own mistakes, perhaps it'll work for him. Regardless, I had the confidence to burst into a class room and give the note, before the teacher told me to piss off, so go me!

I just... I AM SO GLAD I GRABBED MY BALLS AND DID THAT!

It's coming together.

 

[JSH]

Good for you man, looks like your remedial lessons are working quicker than expected. Everything in moderation though, you dont want to piss the teachers off too much (im a master at just stepping onto the line) as they can screw your grades up, especially if you do coursework.

Just keep everything tight man and stay in there.


Roll with the punches

 

[Cloud-uk]

14th November 2004

Alright, went out drinking friday and saturday this weekend- and didn't get IDed once. That's crazy, I'm still convinced I look my age, but apparently I look older. No complaining, had a lot of fun.

I've get that rejection under my belt, but i havent tried any cold pick-ups or further rejections. Which is just plain poor. Nevermind, I'll get on it.

Next point of call for me is the diet and woking out. Rememberance sunday today...and i thought hey! No more fags. I'd just merrily worked my way through a ten deck of soverign. Yuck. Still, I'll say I'm allowed to have a packet every rememberance sunday. I'd given up before, with a good bit of success (mostly because I don't smoke in the daytime), and I just need to make sure I don't crack aftera few pints. I've found a technique which works quite well for me, reading the DJ bible whenever i feel like doing something which is AFC. Smoking is AFC.

Anyway, "no fags and cold-pickups makes Alex much happier". Oh yeah and JSH I think I'll be in London on saturday if you're about.

By the way this "relapse discussion" thing is going really well, thanks to everyone who is taking part, remember to post up when you're ready to move on!

-Motivational song of the Moment Harder, better, faster stronger (Neptunes remix)

 

[JSH]

Good man, as cool as it looks and as much as it helps to stop you fidget especially when drinking, i find its much better to not smoke. I still carry a lighter, as someone with spliff + me with lighter = both happy.

I kinda have the best of both worlds, i dont mind being around people who smoke but i myself do not really anymore (the occasional puff when i crack but . . .) which means i can pick up the non smokers as well. If im getting far with a girl who smokes, you might as well, as otherwise her mouth will taste weird.

Tried getting rejected last night, instead left with two numbers and a pull.

Yeah i should be about, but im pretty much grounded as i have 2 course essays in two weeks time. You have my phone number, if not ill PM it to you again, have you got AIM/MSN or something and then we can discuss meeting up. We can play some rejection games in town if you want.

 

[Cloud-uk]

03 December 2004

Long time since an update.

Girls: Got this fine girl's number today. Felt good about that. Havent been getting any action. Feel bad about that. I need to up the macking as a matter of urgency. Screw it, you don't put in the effort, you don't get the results. My fault.

Body: Rocking like a badass! Put on a stone, feeling fine, weights 3 times a week. Best shape ever. Now I'm going to up to 11st. Things actually going great here.

Work: Going well. Getting difficult juggling it all, but I need to start revising everything now- cards and shizznay. Oh well, still ahead of the pack, just a matter of if it's good enough for...

Uni: My big killer. Looks like I'll need AAB to do what I want. That's my target, I'm going for that. Offers from York and Exeter, got my oxford interview next weekend. Still dependent on the above.

--------> I've worked out why my technique has been shocking, I don't think about things. I just go in like I'm chatting up the "fit *****" that everyone concentrates on here. I seem to go for girls who aren't actually total hoes. Perhaps if I recognise this, be a bit "nicer" I'll see improvements. I'll keep ya posted.

 

[jonny football hero]

Hey, good to hear from you Alex. Could you please PM me with what you did to bulk? Yeah i am 5ft7" (and a half ).

Incedently what a-levels are you taking? i'm in lower sixth mine are:

• History
• Business studies
• German
• Media studies
  [/list=a]
  
  Good lcuk with you interviews.