"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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'Aiming' yourself at a particular type of woman

Solomon79

Don Juan
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I work in a very cerebral job, I've always been academic and quite laid back, and certainly while this can attract a really high calibre of woman, it's not so good for partying. I can be fun too, but you can become a bit too complacent and you don't realise to what extent you're living in your head, instead of being out there and interacting with others.

Is it possible to actually broaden one's appeal to different types of women, or do you think some men are destined to be categorised and appreciated correspondingly?

I have a lot of high energy friends who can pull 18 year olds, and lower calibre women (in my opinion), yet my laid back approach can attract a much higher calibre of women, even if it's not so good on the club/bar circuit. Much better for lone cold approaches or day sarging.

Has anybody here ever hit a point where they seriously stopped and took a look at the makeup of their personality and wondered if an overhaul was possible? I suppose as I get to 30 there is a kind of shift going on inside me, where I have to accept that certain 'possibilities' that lay dormant, will soon be gone?

I'm 29, successful, not overly boring. Yet part of me wishes I could be more spontaneous and outrageous. On the other hand, it could be a lot of work, which doesn't necessarily bring results with the women I like, who I can already attract.

It's a weird set of questions I know. Perhaps it's the early onset of a kind of midlife crisis.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Metro3pilot

Senior Don Juan
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Oct 11, 2005
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nothing wrong with attracting a high caliber of woman ....

similar backgrounds, economic, education, religion and believe it or not, race make connecting with someone easier ...

a doctor dating someone who works at Mcdonalds with no education past high school ...probably not going to work in the long run.

sure on occasion people with different backgrounds works, but thats the exception and not the rule ... like attracts like ..

as far as changing to pick up the high energy bar fly ..not worth it
 

Juando

Senior Don Juan
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Sep 1, 2007
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Hit the road.

If you have some time, travel.
You will meet all sorts of women who will be open to you, even Western women from US, UK, Canada, SA, etc.

You will still be you but you will be a lot freer because you will be disconnected from your routine.
Hooking up with a waitress, laundromat girl, fellow traveler, whatever will be obstacle-free.

It's all temporary but you will come back home and have shed your "box".
 
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