Egyptiandude1
Don Juan
"He was such a great guy, and everything was going great, but he just didnt LISTEN to me"Is a scenario I have been running across lately and that just sickens me to the point where i feel the need to notify everybody of the most important thing in a relationship...COMMUNICATION!!!
There's a little saying i have when it comes to convos with girls, and it is called the "Wisdom Of What". Now I know that there are other topic word openers but not as effective as WHAT... i.e.
How: refers to the action of how something is achieved or done in any sort of manner.
Where: refers to a specific region or area that the person has been to, asking to get to, or would like to go to.
When: refers to a moment in time when something was done, prepared, executed, etc...
Why: refers to a reason in which an action was executed.
What: All of the above!
This is why WHAT is the most important conversation tool out there. What allows a conversation to go deeper vertically rather than horizantly, which loses power, for example
Horizantal Conversation: So what did you do on the first day of the cruise, what about the second day, the third, fourth, etc...
(Basically going from left to right without touching any deep emotions)
Vertical Conversation: So what did you do on your first day of the cruise? Snorkeling eh...? why snorkeling? you wanted to see exotic fish, what do you feel when you are surrounded by beautiful colorful fishes, etc...
thats the basic difference between a horizantal and vertical conversation, which can be achieved by the word WHAT!, a perfect analogy would be like taking a rock and throwing it into a still pond, the ripples lose power and effect as the go away from the point of collision, but the rock keeps going deeper and deeper as it goes vertically down the pond.
The only problem with communication and why guys have the inablity to listen, is because 66% of all guys are born with a STRONG personality trait that makes them avid problem-solvers, while a girl is talking, the guy might have eye contact, but his mind is thinking of what to say next, how to solve to problem, rather than just listen, which in most cases, thats all a girl wants, is just to be listened too!
"Well Egyptian, this may be helpful and all, but she still doesnt think i listen to her?"
Great question, Im glad you asked. Basically there are three components of oral communication that make a person a great listener,
Words = 10%
Tone = 20%
Body Language = 70%
Total = 100%
Now this may sound hypocritical that words only account for 10% of making a great listener, but, most of the time, you will only be LISTENING. the rest of the time, a girl can only tell that you are paying attention by your body language, if your slouched over, hands tucked, and drooling down the chin, that kinda tells a girl you arent very interested in what she has to say (which is the case most of the time, but hey, fake it till you make it
)
this means fellas, great eye contact, back straight, hands laid calmly on table, no fidgeting, no staring at hot waitresses, just listening to what she has to say. Humans naturally want to be listened to, but they hate to be judged, openers like "what when, where, how, and, why" are to judgemental, "what" is more of a lead in to the other word associations, without the judgemental feelings associated with them.
now that youve listened, to her, and she took a breath to sip her tea, this is the time where you ask open-ended questions, nothing like "Thats nice" "Oh, Cool" "Thats Awesome", those make it obvious that you have no clue what she just said, and when you do ask open-ended, make them relate, nothing like, "Oh, Im so sorry your cousin died...So lets go grab a bite to eat" you do that, shell NEXT you!
And finally when you do ask good, topic related questions, have a tone that matches the topic, if she just came back from a skiing trip, have a happy exciting tone, if her cousin just died, have a sad depressed tone, nothing can kill a great open ended question like a bad tone can. So becareful of how you say something, because sometimes, it makes all the difference
so get out there and be the damn best listeners you can be...you wont regret it
latez...~!~
There's a little saying i have when it comes to convos with girls, and it is called the "Wisdom Of What". Now I know that there are other topic word openers but not as effective as WHAT... i.e.
How: refers to the action of how something is achieved or done in any sort of manner.
Where: refers to a specific region or area that the person has been to, asking to get to, or would like to go to.
When: refers to a moment in time when something was done, prepared, executed, etc...
Why: refers to a reason in which an action was executed.
What: All of the above!
This is why WHAT is the most important conversation tool out there. What allows a conversation to go deeper vertically rather than horizantly, which loses power, for example
Horizantal Conversation: So what did you do on the first day of the cruise, what about the second day, the third, fourth, etc...
(Basically going from left to right without touching any deep emotions)
Vertical Conversation: So what did you do on your first day of the cruise? Snorkeling eh...? why snorkeling? you wanted to see exotic fish, what do you feel when you are surrounded by beautiful colorful fishes, etc...
thats the basic difference between a horizantal and vertical conversation, which can be achieved by the word WHAT!, a perfect analogy would be like taking a rock and throwing it into a still pond, the ripples lose power and effect as the go away from the point of collision, but the rock keeps going deeper and deeper as it goes vertically down the pond.
The only problem with communication and why guys have the inablity to listen, is because 66% of all guys are born with a STRONG personality trait that makes them avid problem-solvers, while a girl is talking, the guy might have eye contact, but his mind is thinking of what to say next, how to solve to problem, rather than just listen, which in most cases, thats all a girl wants, is just to be listened too!
"Well Egyptian, this may be helpful and all, but she still doesnt think i listen to her?"
Great question, Im glad you asked. Basically there are three components of oral communication that make a person a great listener,
Words = 10%
Tone = 20%
Body Language = 70%
Total = 100%
Now this may sound hypocritical that words only account for 10% of making a great listener, but, most of the time, you will only be LISTENING. the rest of the time, a girl can only tell that you are paying attention by your body language, if your slouched over, hands tucked, and drooling down the chin, that kinda tells a girl you arent very interested in what she has to say (which is the case most of the time, but hey, fake it till you make it
)this means fellas, great eye contact, back straight, hands laid calmly on table, no fidgeting, no staring at hot waitresses, just listening to what she has to say. Humans naturally want to be listened to, but they hate to be judged, openers like "what when, where, how, and, why" are to judgemental, "what" is more of a lead in to the other word associations, without the judgemental feelings associated with them.
now that youve listened, to her, and she took a breath to sip her tea, this is the time where you ask open-ended questions, nothing like "Thats nice" "Oh, Cool" "Thats Awesome", those make it obvious that you have no clue what she just said, and when you do ask open-ended, make them relate, nothing like, "Oh, Im so sorry your cousin died...So lets go grab a bite to eat" you do that, shell NEXT you!
And finally when you do ask good, topic related questions, have a tone that matches the topic, if she just came back from a skiing trip, have a happy exciting tone, if her cousin just died, have a sad depressed tone, nothing can kill a great open ended question like a bad tone can. So becareful of how you say something, because sometimes, it makes all the difference
so get out there and be the damn best listeners you can be...you wont regret it
latez...~!~
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