ah... hell, I am not getting any girls, who am I kiddng.

[moneyisking]

I realized that there are a lot of fellas in this forum and probably a sh!t ton of people out there in real world who try a lot to improve in this area, but sh!t just doesn't work out for them (and me).

I don't know, I just bought a book, read it, and tried it, but it's not helping. Funny thing it be, the books or amount of reading or meditation what not does not help. I think it all comes down to confidence. That feeling and frame that tells "there is the girl, if I approach, I am going to make her happy and get her". I just lack that I suppose. It's hard to explain.

So, no amount of reading or thinking helps, what can help? I talk to girls on daily bases, but I still can't create that good feeling inside of me. I just don't "feel" it. Ah, dam it. Apologies for ambiguity, but if you know what I mean, throw me some inputs. Thanks.

 

[1337]

That feeling and frame that tells "there is the girl, if I approach, I am going to make her happy and get her"

thats anticipated response which is good. You gotta assume she will respond well it should help your confidence when you see she actually responds well then the rest should be smooth.

 

[Abcd]

I think it all comes down to confidence. That feeling and frame that tells "there is the girl, if I approach, I am going to make her happy and get her". I just lack that I suppose. It's hard to explain.

Ok, I've never read a truer thing on this board. That is THE BIGGEST THING it comes down to. I was just thinking about this on the train today - I am trying like hell to get a girl right now. After only one successful date, and one "i'm busy," it is not looking good, frankly. But I actually still expect to get the girl. Why? Because I generally expect girls to fall in love with me if I give them the opportunity (and provided they aren't impossibly gorgeous / conceited - I lack confidence with perfect 10s, probably simply because I've never dated one, but 9's i'm pretty confident on).

I am no Don Juan, but I am very picky with women, and I have had some success when I do try to get one.

I was thinking on the train today, jeez - if I am doubting myself right now, how the hell would a guy who hasn't had a lot of success feel? He would probably be totally out of the game.

So my only advice to you is, you have to push through that lack of confidence. For me it just so happened that a sort of dorky cute girl back in high school decided to like me, and shattered my perception of myself as an unattractive loser. Then it was only a matter of time until I pulled one or two girls, and the confidence builds from there. You may not have run into that lucky dorky girl yet - it wasn't this website that got me here, but rather luck. So just try to meet as many people as possible, get lucky once, and you will become confident too.

 

[Asasione]

I get the feeling from reading your posts that you are conflicted. This site has implanted a productive and positive mentality that you want to accept but, reality isn't so rosy and the feedback your getting makes you frustrated and desperate for what you believe you should be getting, so you haven't fully embraced the mentality. Your too goal oriented, you want a girl just because your putting in effort. Your trying so somethings gotta give, at least eventually.

You have exposure and your practicing and you even know the right mindsets, your just fixated on your lack of success and this attitude ain't getting you nowhere. The sooner you realize you don't need women or sex is when you will get them. You should have one thing on your mind, "I want to have fun", women are attracted to fun and interesting men.

Take baby steps, start by forcibly thinking positively, change your outlook. Then try and figure out interesting ways of looking and relating to your world and the people around you, amuse yourself. IOW make an effort to think in an attractive and fun way. Do this at least 6 months. Learn how to tell stories, how to use different tonalities in your jokes and stories, how to kino, how to use c&f etc. Take time on each and you'll build a foundation that will lead you to being a naturally attractive man.

I don't understand how people expect to pull everything off at once. You have to develop all necessary aspects and build up to the bigger picture. You've never had sex so things can only get better. Even if you luck out and a girl accepts you what will you do when she's gone, you'll be back to square one, sexless. Build yourself up starting with changing your thought patterns to a successful and optimistic view and continue from there. You have no girls so you can only gain. Good luck bro

 

[zekko]

The confidence treadmill.

You fake it to the MAX... Get good results.... the fake turns into real.

Yeah, developing this type of attitude takes practice. You have to keep plugging away at it. You'll have some failures, and times when you don't feel so confident, but you have to keep striving for it, and slowly you'll find yourself feeling more and more confident more and more of the time, and eventually reach a point where you are consistently confident.

You're at the beginning of the journey - remember, a journey of 100 miles begins with one step. You HAVE to work at devoping this confidence because there really isn't any other choice, you have to have it. And you CAN get it, no matter how you're feeling right now. It's like a muscle that you keep working, and eventually it will get bigger.

 

[vlf445]

Stop caring so much about the girls man. Learn to have fun with everything, including girls, and girls will want to come have fun with you. I'm not perfect with any of this, but as soon as I stopped taking myself so damn seriously I noticed lots of desired effects, including women. Just know that THEY WILL NOT MAKE YOU HAPPY, that part is up to you

 

[moneyisking]

Thanks for the inputs gentlemen

 

[BigWillyStyle]

Monkeyisking, if you're socially competent, have a good social life, have friends, are humourous and easy going, you can bed girls. Getting sex shouldn't be approached like getting a degree (i.e. requiring study); it should come naturally. If you have the foregoing traits, getting girls should be a breeze (unless you're overly picky and are only trying to fvck the cream of the crop; that is, perfect 10s)

As a sidenote to all you virgins: If you want *****, you can get it. Although let's not kid ourselves, if you're a '4' in looks, you won't be banging models - EVER. However, Plain-Jane is still within your grasp. (Even elephant man look-alikes can get laid... with elephant woman look-alikes. There is sex available for everybody.)