Aggressive game vs chasing? Need help calibrating

[Knight of Roses]

Hello all,

I'm unhappy with my roughly 40% closing rate. Employing the teachings of Pook, I've improved my success and my overall outlook, but Im still struggling with some aspects. One of which is I have a hard time calibrating between chasing after a girl and just employing a masculine, confident game. It seems there are women out there who display interest and when I ask them out, they are open to meeting up. There are others, where I think they are expressing interest and when I ask them out, they seem to revert into an uninterested outlook. Am I reading their signals incorrectly? Or are there certain signs I should pick up on that will indicate whether its an opportune moment to go in for the date or whether a woman needs to be gamed more?

Any suggestions?

 

[EyeBRollin]

40% close rate is pretty good. I’d focus on longevity (keeping your prospects on the hook for months at a time) and asking out more women.

If you’re banging 20 new chicks per year and aim for 40, just double the amount of women you approach.

 

[Spaz]

Women make it pretty obvious when they're interested in a man.

Anyhow that doesn't matter, alternatively you could create situations that creates attraction.

1st build up some small rapport with plenty of women.

Then nonchalantly invite them out for some harmless get-to-know-each-other-better lunch or coffee. This would be your precursor towards an actual date. Most of my dates is derived from this method.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Not really enough info to say for sure, but here are some thoughts.

I never chase any more because I've never found chasing to work. I tried it back before I knew any better. All it did was waste my time and make me frustrated. I don't think I've heard anyone here tell success stories of chasing women. Like, ever.

To your statement about women who appear to express interest but then go uninterested when you ask them out, there are potentially some things that may cause an interested woman appear to be uninterested (being shy or insecure or because you haven't built enough rapport yet) but getting to expert-level in reading signals takes time and you can't just teleport yourself into that level of ability. So in the meantime, really all you can do is judge women by their actions and operate in some basic principals.

Here is what I do.... Others may disagree but this is where I am currently:
1. When I see a woman, I hold eye contact with a smile until she looks away. The smile is VERY important. If she looked at me and held my gaze for more than just one second, I will immediately approach her. If you don't immediately approach, it will give off a stalker vibe.
2. When I talk to her, I make it casual, but the key thing I try to focus on is asking her questions and being GENUINELY curious about her. It is not an interview where I ask her questions and am clearly just thinking about the next thing I'm going to say while she's talking. Women can sense this. Really listen and ask followup questions. I am generally very nice and polite, but I will try to find at least one or two things to tease her about a little to show that I don't take her too seriously, have a sense of humor, and don't feel intimidated by her. Ensure lots of eye contact during this interactin. This is ALL I do to build rapport before asking out.
3. If she seems receptive to the above, I say we should hang out sometime and ask her for her number. Anything other than a yes, then I know she simply isn't interested so I move on. There is no point in chasing here. Had one girl seem VERY intensely interested in me and we talked for like 20-30 minutes. Lots of laughter, eye contact, and connection. When I asked her for her number, she offered me her e-mail. I said no thanks and moved on. Some girls and guys just like talking to strangers. I wish more people were like that. I'm not like that but I've been working hard to become that way and it's slowly getting easier. The number, and the acceptance of the subsequent date tells you her interest. Simple as that.

If you think there is something wrong, it's not due to lack of chase, it's due to your interaction with them when you meet them and how followup to set the date. 40% is a pretty good close rate. Doesn't seem like you are doing anything wrong with that kind of rate.