Agent Zero's Approach Journal

[Agent Zero]

What is going on everybody....I am here to write a journal as I overcome approach anxiety. I have had this problem for a loooong time and it needs to stop. I have done a few cold approaches in the past, but I hope to really make some progress this time.

I was going to take jwhite's approach and do an "are you single" approach, but I think I'm going to mix it up a bit too. We will see how it goes. I am doing this on a college campus like jwhite did. I was really impressed by his progress.

Today changed my perspective a little bit. I made two natural approaches without using the "are you single" line. I think I have to use "are you single" for stopping random girls around campus, though, cause not everything can be natural. What I want out of this is to date a lot of girls here and perhaps find someone special, but we shall see as I'm pretty open to the possibilities. Also, FYI, I have had major approach anxiety for years so if I can do it, anyone can.


Approach 1 (March 1, 2007)

At the bus stop and there is another girl there. She is not really my type, but I felt like being social so I asked her "did we just miss the buses?" knowing pretty much that we had. We had a brief convo about the rain and spring break plans. She was happy to talk to me and I probably could have # closed, but she wasn't my type.

Approach 2 (March 1, 2007)

I was feeling motivated from how receptive girl 1 was so I made another bus stop approach. At first I was gonna say "crappy day, huh?" when she arrived, but I hesitated so I couldn't say that. After about 30 seconds I said "do you know if it's gonna rain tomorrow?" It's a stupid question I knew it like is she a meteorologist or something, but surprise surprise she was happy to talk to me. I found out she was from Colombia. Her bus came after about a minute though so we didn't talk long. I might have been able to number close, but she was probably a few years older and we didn't get to chat very long.


Today's approaches weren't really interesting, but it just made me realize how I can just say some stupid random comment or question to someone and they were receptive 2 out of 2 times. Think about how many opportunities we have in a day.

 

[Mind_Body_Soul]

Agent Zero - Great job on the approaches. I truly believe being social is the key to getting women.

One small word of advice. Don't open with something like "Crappy day huh". This is an NLP thing that I picked up but it makes sense. As soon as you start with anything negative, she will start to associate negative things with you. Instead, start with something like "I just love the rain" but said sarcastically. Or if you really do like the rain, say it passionately and see how she reacts.

Notice - I used the same tactic on you just now I started with great job on the approaches. It made you more receptive to what I said next.

 

[Agent Zero]

Thanks for the advice. I am generally a positive person and even if I do open with something negative, I try to be cheerful about it. My question in Approach 1 "did we just miss the buses?" could be negative, but I take things in stride so it wasn't like I was bothered by it.


Approach 3 (March 2, 2007)

I saw a group of 3 guys and 1 girl watching traffic on campus with clipboards. I had seen people there all this week so I decided to ask what they were observing. The girl told me they were doing a traffic survey. Then I couldn't think of what to say and it didn't really lend itself to conversation. She said "is that good enough?". It's hard to approach groups and I didn't really expect anything out of this one. I heard them giggling when I left. I wonder if a lot of people had asked them that same question or if they just thought it was funny I even cared.


Still haven't done any direct approaches or gone for a number yet. I really want to take this next step.

 

[Mind_Body_Soul]

The important thing with socializing is the art of conversation combined with a general interest in what's going on. I would have asked the people what they were doing, like you did, and when they said taking a traffic survey, I would have asked what they were analyzing or what the results were going to be used for. Talk to the guys and the girls. Pay more attention to the dudes, bust on the girl. You know the drill. I have trouble closing a girl in a group - in fact, I dont' really do it. But socializing is different, be social with everyone.

 

[L777]

Hey man, nice one on starting the approach journal and having the nads to cold approach.

However, one piece of advice I would give is this, from now on, go for the number close every time, even if you think you'll get rejected...a rejection is better than wondering what could have been.

I see loads of approach journals and for like, the first few months the guys don't ask for and thus don't get any numbers, IMO thats just wasting time. By all means, be social with everyone, but i would say that to have any chance of success, you need to get into the habit of getting a #close or an instant date, I do this all the time now, like even if I get the impression she doesn't like me, I will, as a last resort go, "well listen, I gotta get off now, but you seem like a laugh, here, put your number in my phone", and I'll get the number about half the time when i think she doesn't even like me, and almost all the time when I know she does.

Still, props, and keep it up!

 

[Agent Zero]

Approach 4 (March 2, 2007)

I was at the bus stop again and this woman came over. She was on her phone speaking Chinese. So after she got off I asked if that was Chinese. And an awkward conversation where she spoke bad English ensued. She was annoying me asking me questions when I was hoping to end the conversation. She was kinda high strung. I need to be more selective about who I chat up.


Well it is Spring Break now so campus is pretty empty. I will try to approach this week if I see any girls around, but I might not. I am going out of town part of next week so I will try to approach then too.

Things I still need to try:

- stop a girl who is moving
- walk-up approach rather than by-chance approaches
- direct approach ("are you single")

 

[Agent Zero]

I am back, but I have not done any approaches the past few days. I am trying to get the courage to go direct with "are you single" cause my indirect approaches haven't gotten anywhere so far and I want to start getting numbers. I have been walking around campus for about 20 minutes when I get a chance and I want to approach, but haven't been able to muster the courage yet. I am waiting for too perfect of a situation cause I don't feel I can approach when other people are around. I need to get past this!

 

[Agent Zero]

Damn it...I choked today. I keep making excuses for myself. I spent about 40 minutes walking around campus and obviously I had some opportunities, but didn't go for it. I even had one golden opportunity where I walked right past the girl and nobody else was nearby, but I made the excuse that since we were near the buses, people would be watching from the bus. I don't know what my problem is. I keep making excuses about every small little detail. Now it is one thing not to approach when there are hoards of people around which happens a lot on this campus, but it's another to make up petty excuses for everything. Today I was dressed nice, weather was perfect, I was in a good mood, I feel alright about my direct approach, but I still couldn't pull it off. That girl was hot too.

Does anybody have any tips on getting past this?

 

[Agent Zero]

Approach 5 (March 16, 2007)

Ok, I haven't approached in a while, but I got back into it a little bit today. Unfortunately I still have not gone direct. I am going to change the line and just say "hi" and if I get a positive vibe say "hey, can I ask you something?" It is a small change, but "excuse me, can I ask you a quick question?" just doesn't fit my style for some reason.

Here is the approach...I was at that same bus stop again and not feeling really social, but a girl comes to the bus stop. She isn't my type and actually looked pretty *****y. I had my hood up and earphones in, but I decided "**** this" I'm gonna practice.

Me: Do you know if the bus gets here at 7?
Her: Yeah.....I checked just before I came.
(she didn't seem too enthused and I wasn't sure if I should continue so I waited about 30 seconds)
Me: I can't believe it is starting to flurry after yesterday.
Her: Yeah I know it was like 80 yesterday
Me: Yeah I can't wait for those days to come back.
Her: I didn't get any work done yesterday cause I just wanted to be outside.

That was the gist of it, but I forget some parts. I didn't want to close cause she wasn't my type. This was a good practice approach though cause I thought in my head that she was *****y and she seemed like the kinda girl who was more mature, worked a job, and went to school, and had no time for small talk. But I struck up the convo anyways and she responded positively. It was also interesting cause at first I didn't think she was responding positively, but it turned out she just had a way of speaking in which she doesn't show as much excitement as some girls.


In other news, tonight a girl I have been hanging out with is gonna hang out. She wanted to take a shower here (she's coming from the gym) and I'm a bit concerned she is hoping to get me in a relationship when I just see her as a friend.

 

[Agent Zero]

Ok so I got laid last night by the girl who was coming over. We went out to the bars downtown, then came back here. We had sex this morning about 2 hours ago, but it wasn't that great really. I have yet to have great sex unfortunately

 

[DonJefe]

Hey, "wasn't that great" sex is better than no sex I myself am at college, and I share your approach anxiety. Best of luck overcoming it - seems like you're heading in the right direction - maybe I'll try sometime similar myself soon.

 

[Agent Zero]

I did another sorta approach today at that same bus stop. It wasn't much though and I'm going to stop numbering the approaches cause I am still just practicing talking to strangers.

March 24, 2007

Me: Do you know if it's going to storm later?
Her: Yes, they say its isolated thunderstorms.
Me: Yeah, it looks kinda ominous back there (looking behind us)
Her: Yeah, I brought my rain coat.

I didn't feel a vibe so I didn't feel like continuing it, nor was she my type. She was friendly though and that is my main goal to see that everyone who I strike up a conversation with is friendly. This will help lower my fear of direct approaching.

 

[IWillReturnsoon]

yea, not all girls u interact with will have a vibe like that.
Good work man. The direct approach will come easier my man.

 

[Agent Zero]

I have been walking around campus every once in a while on my lunch break for the past few weeks, but I just can't get myself to do the "are you single" approach. I feel like I was putting too much pressure on myself so I decided to scale it back and take it one step at a time. I got a practice approach in tonight walking to the bus stop....I just want to first practice stopping girls who are walking cause those are primarily who I want to approach.

So I see this girl walking towards me and she looks pretty good from a distance, but as she gets closer I'm not really attracted to her, but it's just practice so I go for it anyways. Now, sorry to let you down, but my practice approach is to just ask where a particular building is. I say "hey, can I ask you a question real quick?" which is the same way I'm gonna open my "are you single" approaches. She doesn't really hear me cause she has headphones on. But she sees me talking so stops. I ask her where the building is and she's really really friendly and is trying to tell me how to get there, saying it's hard to explain. Then, she's like telling me she is just going for a walk so she wants to walk with me! Now this building is about as far across campus as you can get. I had to get out of that one though cause I wasn't really going to the building lol. She was just going for a walk so I'm sure most girls aren't gonna agree to walk with me, but it was a great boost that she was so friendly. I'm gonna try this approach for a while til I can do "are you single". I want to at least get used to stopping the hot, *****y looking girls cause that is who I am into lately.

Oh, BTW, at the bus stop some other guy started up a convo with the same girl from approach #2 so I just thought that was funny. I didn't know it was her til she started talking to him. That guy was social with everyone, though. He started talking to me too. He was a bit too jolly, but it just goes to show you can meet so many people just being social.

 

[Fred Da Head]

One thing that doesn't seem to have caught anyone else's eye...

Just because the girl isn't your type doesn't mean you shouldn't #close her. It's good practice. That was one of my stumbling blocks early on (and still is) because at first I practiced with girls I wasn't interested in (they were cute, just not my type) and I never closed them, so that when I moved on to trying to get the women I actually wanted, my end game and closes were weaker than the rest of my game. It's especially a problem for me because the middle game is where I truly shine, without routines, so my weak closes contrast so much that it's still a problem.

My point is simply that you should #close anytime you get the chance. It's an ego boost, and it makes you practice your closing game. It's win-win.

Don't think just because you get a number, you have to call her up--though that's good practice, too, if you really want to work at getting better.

 

[SuperChillies]

Ok so I got laid last night by the girl who was coming over. We went out to the bars downtown, then came back here. We had sex this morning about 2 hours ago, but it wasn't that great really. I have yet to have great sex unfortunately

confused, ...is this one of the girls you approached or a FB
are you good looking ?

peace

 

[Agent Zero]

confused, ...is this one of the girls you approached or a FB
are you good looking ?

peace

No this is a girl I had met a few months ago not through approaches. I guess I am alright looking lol.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

Agent Zero is a good looking guy.