After two weeks of sex, she does not return my calls

[johnnynh]

Hi,

Friends

First, sorry for my Tarzan English, I am not a native English speaker. I met this HB four weeks ago, we had sex in our second date, even she gave me an expensive gift. Then, we took a 3 day trip for our third date, she paid half of our trip, meals and hotel. Everything was good and funny until the last week. She does not answer my calls even when I call her just twice. She called me back yesterday but her calling was very formal and distant, like we were just strangers, we talked just a few minutes, she told me that she was with her girlfriends in a party on weekend and she was moving into a new apartment yesterday. Then she told me that was busy and hung me up.

I really like this girl and I just want to keep ****ing her. I don’t know what to do. I think the better is not chasing her, so I won’t call her until she calls me back first or until she changes her behavior. Any help, I would like to hear your opinions and advices, my friends.

Johnny

 

[VladPatton]

Who knows, man, she could be crazy. Leave her alone for now, perhaps she only wanted a few weeks of fun and nothing more. It's difficult to pinpoint what went wrong.

 

[TheCWord]

Then, we took a 3 day trip for our third date

Ya this one's hard to figure.

 

[RagingBalls]

Two weeks of sex? She must've been very exhausted and needed a rest for another two weeks of raunchy sex.

 

[JoeMarron]

I love how people that apologize for their English can speak it better than some native speakers. Anyways, who knows and who cares why she isn't returning your calls. Don't chase her, simply move on to the next one.

Ya this one's hard to figure.

Dat sarcasm. Yeah you shouldn't be spending this much time and investing this much in a chick on the third date

 

[El Suave]

I had one do stuff like that too. I think she was afraid because she was falling hard for me. Never put too much thought as in why or what. Let it be and if she comes back great, if not it's better you found out after 2 weeks and not 2 years. Go do whatever you were doing before you met her and do not contact her for any kind of reason. For ANY kind of reason!

 

[TheCWord]

I think she was afraid because she was falling hard for me.

That's probably it.

 

[El Suave]

That's probably it.

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

 

[asa_don]

just be happy that you got the 2 weeks, find another girl for 2 more weeks.

 

[sylvester the cat]

imagine that this girl is the little old lady who you helped across the street a couple of times a week.

how would you feel that she no longer wants to hear from you again? would you care? probably not.

it's odd how our judgements become so clouded when something like sex (or any commodity we desire) is involved.

 

[papawapa]

her IL is low. Probably two reasons for this...
1. you werent very good in bed
2. you came across as a needy clingy bich

 

[Harry Wilmington]

I'm sorry, but did you say that for your 3rd date you took her on a 3-day trip?? THIS, my friend, is where you messed up. When you first start dating a girl you need to be spoon-feeding yourself to her, i.e. taking it SLOWLY and only seeing her once a week. This way, she has time to have fun with you, then miss you and want to see you again thus building up her interest while allowing you to also keep some form of mystery about you. Taking her on a 3-day trip where you're around each other for 72 hours straight when you've just started dating her gives her too much access to you, which also means too much time around your habits that she may start to find more annoying than she would had you waited 6 months before taking her on the trip. She may not have verbalized it, but in those 3 days:

1. You may have said something she didn't like
2. There could have been various petty arguments about stuff
3. She could have seen you do actions around her that aren't very attracting, like picking your nose, clipping your toenails, or taking a crap
4. You might have mentioned too much "future-speak," i.e. "I think I can see this going long-term," "I wonder what our kids would look like," etc.

Regardless, always remember: long trips are typically relationship killers if you (a) aren't yet committed to her and (b) are just starting to see her. Save trips until at least 6 months, preferably until marriage if you can get away with it.

 

[RagingBalls]

I really like this girl and I just want to keep ****ing her.

In fairness to you and the girl, Please do elaborate more as the story lacks substance needed for at least a better judgment on what happened.
Anyways. Basing it from her actions, after your vacation, somewhere along the way she "might" have been kinda turned off perhaps by:

- you seemed only interested in sex
- you're mannerisms, attitude, behavior
- you don't meet halfway on making decisions

or basically she just lost interest and thinking it over if she still want to go out with you.

or...she had personal problems that she's dealing with, like money issues etc.

My advice is don't act to negatively about it and i see nothing wrong with talking to her in a nice way if she has a problem that she wants to share with, since you liked this girl a lot then that's the better thing you could do.

 

[johnnynh]

She proposed me to take the trip and pay half of the expenses. I liked the idea because I would **** her for three days, and she knew that I liked to travel.

When we were saying good bye after our trip, she told me that enjoyed the trip a lot and asked me what day we would see again. With a smile in my face, I told her that there was a movie that I wanted to watch and she could join me three days later. Everything looked fine, that is why I am kind of confused.

I know that I should not call her, but I do not know what else to do. I need advice, friends.

Johnny

 

[bukowski_merit]

So, you really like her. It's clear.

What do you do from here? The biggest problem is that anything you do that makes it looks like you're pursuing will have a negative effect.

So the best course of action is to sit back, don't contact her, and fill your time with someone/thing else (other women, hobbies, etc.) There's no real magic pill in figuring out what's going on in her head or getting her interest back. The problem is - the more you think about her the more you want to fix things; get it back.

This is what oneitis is....

 

[GotED?]

I had one do stuff like that too. I think she was afraid because she was falling hard for me. Never put too much thought as in why or what. Let it be and if she comes back great, if not it's better you found out after 2 weeks and not 2 years. Go do whatever you were doing before you met her and do not contact her for any kind of reason. For ANY kind of reason!

SERIOUSLY - aside from the joke following El Suave's post making fun of this, one must CONSIDER REALISTICALLY the implication of women's natural response to anything is = FEAR FIRST.

A woman's world is FULL OF FEAR; she may put up an act of masculine b!tch act on the outside, but most women are drive by FEAR as their initial response (and they have a right to do so because of their physical detriment compared to men when it comes to self-defense).

I think El Suave just helped me solve a similiar ?? I had with a woman I currently dated out on 4 dates, she was exhibiting IL through the roof. However, she HAD WARNED me that she has a huge FEAR OF INTIMACY and has never been in a DEEPLY CONNECTED RELATIONSHP.

The fact that a woman who has emotional intimacy issue, knowing she is uncontrollably falling in love with a man, will most likely irrationally panick and do everything she can to have CONTROL back again.

Us men who are experienced with women, know how CONTROL FREAKED women are about everything when they are insecure and immature. However, a mature adult-like women (yeah, how many are there under age 40?? LOL...) would have more substance to her personality and would not be as selfish and have herself on a much more centered response when it comes to dating and relationship.

So I suppose if this was my case, all I could do is walk away and let her feel the pain of her mistake (that's what I did for my situation). There is a chance she will cross the boundary of imminent domain of pain and missing for you that she will contact you (has happened before to me NEXTing a woman and she became my GF for the next 1 year) owning up to her mistake.

Yeah, TheCWord - bring it on, you can make fun of my Romeo post here but I'll get you back later

Exodus

 

[sylvester the cat]

i once dated a girl who wouldn't leave me the fVck alone all cos she claimed she loved me. constantly blowing up my phone, accusing me of leading her on - just stopped short of actual stalking. it was quite clear to me this was the behaviour of someone who wanted to be in control and most definitely not someone in love.

perhaps the flipside is true.

 

[RagingBalls]

She proposed me to take the trip and pay half of the expenses. I liked the idea because I would **** her for three days, and she knew that I liked to travel.

When we were saying good bye after our trip, she told me that enjoyed the trip a lot and asked me what day we would see again. With a smile in my face, I told her that there was a movie that I wanted to watch and she could join me three days later. Everything looked fine, that is why I am kind of confused.

I know that I should not call her, but I do not know what else to do. I need advice, friends.

Johnny

Mate, to find the real score between you and her, you can call her without looking needy. How? by telling her the next time you call that you were concern why it seems she has acting differently lately, that if there's a problem that you might help her with.

You liked this girl a lot so you got to do what's appropriate for her but with your dignity still intact...by showing her your genuine concern for her.

By doing this, you'll show her you're a man of quality, a man with empathy, a man with good character.

Now, if she still haven't said anything after that. Let her be, you've done your best part and time to consider other options you have.

Goodluck mate! Cheers

 

[TheCWord]

Yeah, TheCWord - bring it on, you can make fun of my Romeo post here but I'll get you back later

Haha well who knows, but "fear of intimacy" seems like such a cop out line. If I'm afraid of something, I' won't verbalize it, I'll just stay the hell away from that thing. You won't catch me going into a snake pit and then after a little while saying I'm scared of snakes.

The more likely scenario is I have a very specific idea of what I want from snakes and the only way I can find out if it's out there is by going into the snake pit. When I decide to leave, it's not because I'm afraid of snakes (otherwise I'd never go where snakes live) it's because you're just not the snake for me.

 

[GotED?]

You won't catch me going into a snake pit and then after a little while saying I'm scared of snakes.

The more likely scenario is I have a very specific idea of what I want from snakes and the only way I can find out if it's out there is by going into the snake pit. When I decide to leave, it's not because I'm afraid of snakes (otherwise I'd never go where snakes live) it's because you're just not the snake for me.

You have not failed to impress me yet with your eloquent Freudian sexually connotative representation of body parts, TheCWord.

Where would we be as men without your intense explaination of sexy pile of long big snakes.

Damn, looks like I won't be sleepin' tonight.