"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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After mind games

kelv

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Mind games...when does it all ends? After managing to attract girls thru DJ tactics, then suddenly women comes up with more mind games....when would be the right time to tell them "hey im not interested in mind games already, now i juz wan you to be my girlfriend."

man...this is troubling.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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jophil28

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YOu might want to post some more detail about her mindgames for us to comment further..

But in the meantime do NOT tell her what you wrote in your first post.
 

kelv

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well im not that interested in her but i juz wanna discover the ans to my qs in my 1st post. e.g. we got to the making-out stage.......fondling stuffs liddat and i tot she was interested in me...but on msn, she would put those love-dovey msg obviously for another guy. but i wasnt jealous at all, juz pondering.
 

jophil28

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kelv said:
well im not that interested in her but i juz wanna discover the ans to my qs in my 1st post. e.g. we got to the making-out stage.......fondling stuffs liddat and i tot she was interested in me...but on msn, she would put those love-dovey msg obviously for another guy. but i wasnt jealous at all, juz pondering.
She is playing that centuries old game that women love - manipulate two men as rivals for her affection. It is one of their most favorite attempts at grabbing the frame and bloating their already inflated egos..

So how do you win - by not playing.
That means withdrawing your time, attentions and affection. Do it slowly and subtly. She will pursue you as you pull away.

OH, and under NO circumstances do you EVER say to a woman that you want her to be your G/f.

BTW, can you write without text type truncations.
 

kelv

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yea....so how do i ever get a girl to settle down with me (be a gf) instead of those casual making-out stuffs....i mean sumtimes guys do wan a gf for settling down purposes, not sex.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Uberguy

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The game never ends. Even in marriage, guys will be constantly tested. Why do you think 50% of marriages end in divorce?

So rather than worry about how to get the mind games to stop, just make peace with them and yourself. They're an annoying part of life that can't be helped, like taxes and reality tv shows. Know that you'll be tested, and have the confidence that you'll know how to ace them.
 

jophil28

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kelv said:
yea....so how do i ever get a girl to settle down with me (be a gf) instead of those casual making-out stuffs....i mean sumtimes guys do wan a gf for settling down purposes, not sex.
How old are you ?
 

vatoloco

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kelv said:
Mind games...when does it all ends?
What are you talking about? It never ends! Even after entering a LTR or marriage, women will ALWAYS test you.


when would be the right time to tell them "hey im not interested in mind games already, now i juz wan you to be my girlfriend."
Never! If you tell her that: 1) you'll come off as boring and 2) she'll know she'll have the power because you WANT her as your GF.

Whenever women are interested in going exclusive, they'll let you know. If she truly digs you, you just have to wait. If it never comes up, she doesn't like you THAT much. ;)
 

SandHawk

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I'm going to add in a little 2 cents that might counteract some of the teachings, yet they're based on them.

My main plate is also seeing some other guy, but only having sex exclusively with me. I was fine with this until quite recently, as I discovered the guy is a total douchebag. Since I'm quite into this girl, she's an 8 / 8.5 in my opinion, I was done with it, and told her to make up her mind: In a short undefined timeframe, she'll has to make up her mind about this. It's either my way or the highway, and I specifically told her that I will walk away if she does not make the choice, which includes telling the other guy that she's seeing me exclusively.

The next day the calls up to ask if she can sleep over, and when I ask her to join me in the shower, she told me she already showered at the gym before coming my way, and when I return: She's in my bed in a corset and stockings. Next weekend, she's in a club singing along with Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams and during "Some of them want to be used by you", she's all over me and whispers in my ear the other dude is out.

It all comes down to laying down your law. Be decisive, be strong willed and have the guts to turn around and walk away.
 

kelv

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wow man....women really seems to want what they cant really have..
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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zekko

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I specifically told her that I will walk away if she does not make the choice, which includes telling the other guy that she's seeing me exclusively.
Just curious, does this mean you are seeing her exclusively as well?
 

Tiguere

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Most likely...which means she wasn't your main plate...she is your ONLY plate. I don't know but you just went into a relationship from a weakness standpoint. Good luck though.
 

zekko

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Next weekend, she's in a club singing along with Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams and during "Some of them want to be used by you", she's all over me and whispers in my ear the other dude is out.
If she's in the club, how exclusive do you think she wants to be?
 

Kailex

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jophil28 said:
How old are you ?
Do you want to just blindly guess then?
Because I had the SAME question right after his second response when I saw THIS:

i mean sumtimes guys do wan a gf for settling down purposes, not sex.
Want to bet he's under the age of 23?
And I'm being generous about 23 too.

KELV, you don't get a woman to settle with you... they get you to settle down with them... eventually... IF AT ALL.

And you want a girlfriend for settling down purposes? What does that even mean? If you want something like that without the sex, just live with your mother. She'll never disappoint you and VOILA... no mind games.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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