Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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after first date

king0fhearts59

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ok so i hada a first date this mamacita last night, we went mini golfing (lol:D ) and then out to eat and a walk thru the park by ourselves and just sat on a hill and talked for bout an hour or so ( first time alone with her :p ) so first question: did i **** up anything by not trying to kiss her on the first date? and secondly, to raise attraction do i not talk to her for a few days or what?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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WC2

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It's not always a bad thing when you don't initiate on the first date, but you better bet you are going to need to on the next one. That's fine that you got to know this chick as long as you showed her a good time. You do it again however, and you're going to start sliding into the friend zone. Initiate next time around.
 

king0fhearts59

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WC2 said:
It's not always a bad thing when you don't initiate on the first date, but you better bet you are going to need to on the next one. That's fine that you got to know this chick as long as you showed her a good time. You do it again however, and you're going to start sliding into the friend zone. Initiate next time around.
she seemed to have a good but she doesnt seem like a headgame palyer either so if she doesnt get in touch me this week does that she mean shes already made up her mind?
 

Mr. Me

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1. did I **** up anything by not trying to kiss her on the first date?

You missed the opportunity to find out if she's really romantically interested in you. Girls go out with guys for lots of reasons, like sometimes they just want someone to take them out. Going for a kiss on the lips (not a makeout session!) puts them to the test. It also serves to show them that you're serious about not being taken as just a friend.

If you get a second date with her, go for a kiss at the end of it. If she gives you her cheek or any excuse not to peck on the lips, she's out.

2. to raise attraction do I not talk to her for a few days or what?

Yes, though it's about raising interest, not attraction.

It gives them a few days to reflect on the great time they had with you (hopefully they did have a great time, though I'm not sure if sitting on a hill for an hour of talking counts as fun unless you had her in stitches laughing all the time). It also gives them time to wonder if you're going to call, wonder if you like them, wonder why you haven't called yet, talk to her girlfriends about you... and all that keeps you on her mind and thinking about you, which naturally builds interest.

Too often, guys call back real soon thinking that they must and really because they can't control themselves. They don't understand that's how the female mind works, that she delights in thinking about this stuff (remember "he loves me, he loves me not..."), and blow all that out of the water by overwhelming her with "too much too soon" and actually LOWER her interest. So do pace yourself.

One more thought: and sometimes, when you don't call for a few days, guess what happens? SHE calls! Now she's chasing you! Sweet!

But that can NEVER happen if you call them right away.
 

king0fhearts59

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Mr. Me said:
1. did I **** up anything by not trying to kiss her on the first date?

You missed the opportunity to find out if she's really romantically interested in you. Girls go out with guys for lots of reasons, like sometimes they just want someone to take them out. Going for a kiss on the lips (not a makeout session!) puts them to the test. It also serves to show them that you're serious about not being taken as just a friend.

If you get a second date with her, go for a kiss at the end of it. If she gives you her cheek or any excuse not to peck on the lips, she's out.

2. to raise attraction do I not talk to her for a few days or what?

Yes, though it's about raising interest, not attraction.

It gives them a few days to reflect on the great time they had with you (hopefully they did have a great time, though I'm not sure if sitting on a hill for an hour of talking counts as fun unless you had her in stitches laughing all the time). It also gives them time to wonder if you're going to call, wonder if you like them, wonder why you haven't called yet, talk to her girlfriends about you... and all that keeps you on her mind and thinking about you, which naturally builds interest.

Too often, guys call back real soon thinking that they must and really because they can't control themselves. They don't understand that's how the female mind works, that she delights in thinking about this stuff (remember "he loves me, he loves me not..."), and blow all that out of the water by overwhelming her with "too much too soon" and actually LOWER her interest. So do pace yourself.

One more thought: and sometimes, when you don't call for a few days, guess what happens? SHE calls! Now she's chasing you! Sweet!

But that can NEVER happen if you call them right away.
1. yeah shes kind of a shy girl so she jus gave me her cheek at the end.

2. believe it or not we had a blast at the mini golf course AND at the park, she pretty much was in stitches the whole time, im a pretty funny cat :D .. oh and thats right, my mistake. interest instead of attraction. and lastly to answer my initial question, does it mean shes done-zo with me if she doesnt get back to me this week?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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