"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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after first date

king0fhearts59

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ok so i hada a first date this mamacita last night, we went mini golfing (lol:D ) and then out to eat and a walk thru the park by ourselves and just sat on a hill and talked for bout an hour or so ( first time alone with her :p ) so first question: did i **** up anything by not trying to kiss her on the first date? and secondly, to raise attraction do i not talk to her for a few days or what?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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WC2

Master Don Juan
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It's not always a bad thing when you don't initiate on the first date, but you better bet you are going to need to on the next one. That's fine that you got to know this chick as long as you showed her a good time. You do it again however, and you're going to start sliding into the friend zone. Initiate next time around.
 

king0fhearts59

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WC2 said:
It's not always a bad thing when you don't initiate on the first date, but you better bet you are going to need to on the next one. That's fine that you got to know this chick as long as you showed her a good time. You do it again however, and you're going to start sliding into the friend zone. Initiate next time around.
she seemed to have a good but she doesnt seem like a headgame palyer either so if she doesnt get in touch me this week does that she mean shes already made up her mind?
 

Mr. Me

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1. did I **** up anything by not trying to kiss her on the first date?

You missed the opportunity to find out if she's really romantically interested in you. Girls go out with guys for lots of reasons, like sometimes they just want someone to take them out. Going for a kiss on the lips (not a makeout session!) puts them to the test. It also serves to show them that you're serious about not being taken as just a friend.

If you get a second date with her, go for a kiss at the end of it. If she gives you her cheek or any excuse not to peck on the lips, she's out.

2. to raise attraction do I not talk to her for a few days or what?

Yes, though it's about raising interest, not attraction.

It gives them a few days to reflect on the great time they had with you (hopefully they did have a great time, though I'm not sure if sitting on a hill for an hour of talking counts as fun unless you had her in stitches laughing all the time). It also gives them time to wonder if you're going to call, wonder if you like them, wonder why you haven't called yet, talk to her girlfriends about you... and all that keeps you on her mind and thinking about you, which naturally builds interest.

Too often, guys call back real soon thinking that they must and really because they can't control themselves. They don't understand that's how the female mind works, that she delights in thinking about this stuff (remember "he loves me, he loves me not..."), and blow all that out of the water by overwhelming her with "too much too soon" and actually LOWER her interest. So do pace yourself.

One more thought: and sometimes, when you don't call for a few days, guess what happens? SHE calls! Now she's chasing you! Sweet!

But that can NEVER happen if you call them right away.
 

king0fhearts59

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Mr. Me said:
1. did I **** up anything by not trying to kiss her on the first date?

You missed the opportunity to find out if she's really romantically interested in you. Girls go out with guys for lots of reasons, like sometimes they just want someone to take them out. Going for a kiss on the lips (not a makeout session!) puts them to the test. It also serves to show them that you're serious about not being taken as just a friend.

If you get a second date with her, go for a kiss at the end of it. If she gives you her cheek or any excuse not to peck on the lips, she's out.

2. to raise attraction do I not talk to her for a few days or what?

Yes, though it's about raising interest, not attraction.

It gives them a few days to reflect on the great time they had with you (hopefully they did have a great time, though I'm not sure if sitting on a hill for an hour of talking counts as fun unless you had her in stitches laughing all the time). It also gives them time to wonder if you're going to call, wonder if you like them, wonder why you haven't called yet, talk to her girlfriends about you... and all that keeps you on her mind and thinking about you, which naturally builds interest.

Too often, guys call back real soon thinking that they must and really because they can't control themselves. They don't understand that's how the female mind works, that she delights in thinking about this stuff (remember "he loves me, he loves me not..."), and blow all that out of the water by overwhelming her with "too much too soon" and actually LOWER her interest. So do pace yourself.

One more thought: and sometimes, when you don't call for a few days, guess what happens? SHE calls! Now she's chasing you! Sweet!

But that can NEVER happen if you call them right away.
1. yeah shes kind of a shy girl so she jus gave me her cheek at the end.

2. believe it or not we had a blast at the mini golf course AND at the park, she pretty much was in stitches the whole time, im a pretty funny cat :D .. oh and thats right, my mistake. interest instead of attraction. and lastly to answer my initial question, does it mean shes done-zo with me if she doesnt get back to me this week?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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