After cold approaching a girl, I think I realize my problem

[moneyisking]

Ok, I know it's been only about 3,4 hrs after I wrote my post down there, but I just went to the class and realized something kind of big.

I was sitting in class all fine, then this smoking hot girl came and sat by me. I started to feel something weird inside me that I did not feel before she sat down. I talked to her and got few good laughs, but I just couldn't keep on talking on the convo b/c I just felt so weird inside me. It's like nervousness, worry, mild depression, little intimidation, and fear just all started erupting in me all at the same time.

Kind of kicking myself, I walked outside the door and headed back to the dorm. Then someone called me behind my back "moneyisking!". I slowly turned my head and looked back. It was one of my dude friends. At the moment, I did not realize, but I felt very calm, very confident, very easy, and relaxed probably b/c I am no homo and was not interested in him as I would in a hot chick. I felt like how I should be in front of anyone. I talked to two more hot chicks this morning and all during the interactions, I just felt so weird. But during any time I talk to my guy friends, I am calm, happy, fun, relaxed, and can carry on the conversation like it's nothing. Maybe that's why I have so many dude friends who think I am cool as sh!t, but not any girls. When I am talking to a dude, there is no mingling bs that goes swirling inside my head that lags up my whole brain up and fvck up my confidence.

Anyways, him and I talked about how he did not have any food so has to go get some food, blah blah, what car you drive, you should get some fast food, and to what you doing this weekend. Just after we parted, I went "holy sh!t, AHA!" This is how I am supposed to be feeling when I am talking to a girl. I felt so calm, so confident, so cheerful, so funny, so easy-going, so happy. On my post below, a good sir wrote that my goal-minded mindset is probably messing me up. That if I put effort, I must get some result. That is definitely true. Also, I know I shouldn't but I connect getting p*ssy and happiness/confidence together subconsciously. I must say those mentality is fvcking up my confidence and self-esteem and cause me to be nervous. I try to be sexual when it's supposed to be natural and comfortable; I am ridiculous. But I want to be sexual with women, but if I do, I may not feel confident. But also, I want to feel comfortable and confident which might result me into not being so sexual minded. Man, what should I do?

 

[dat azz]

It's definitely true that if you're not expecting any results than you'll remain chill. It's good to be apathetic sometimes.

 

[moneyisking]

But I feel like if I don't "score" or game a girl well, I don't feel very up-lifting. This is thus result of being obsessed by a girl. I really want to be able to sweep off her feet, but it's fvcking me up. However, if I just stop trying, how am I ever going to be able to be the DJ? It's weird... ah!

 

[Asasione]

Comfort in a situation makes you confident and sexuality flows freely when your confident and in the moment. Your complicating things for yourself, they all complement and strengthen each other, like looking at two sides of the same coin (comfort|confidence). I find it funny that you know the answer yet you can't help yourself. Stop thinking pvssy will cure your problem. The problem is you treat women differently cause of what's between their legs, treat them the same. You think too much and you seem to think you'll find the courage and wisdom to change when you already know what to do. I wish I could smack some sense into you. Stop posting and take some action

 

[zekko]

It's definitely true that if you're not expecting any results than you'll remain chill. It's good to be apathetic sometimes.

This is probably why they say that you usually end up hooking up with a girl when you least expect it. If your mind is focused on something else, you're distracted from the sexual tension and you're just being yourself and relaxed. If you're trying to impress a girl you're interested in, you're not being natural.

I was just thinking a few weeks ago that I FEEL different around women that I would bang than I do around women that I wouldn't. There's a certain level of excitement when you're around women you're attracted to that isn't present when you're around women that you're not attracted to. This nervous energy can work against you if it's not under your control.

The only advice I can think of is to talk to as many attractive women as you can so you get desensitized to it. But it is hard to behave the same around really attractive women as would around anyone else, at least for me. That would be the ideal, I think, and it's something I'm still working toward.

 

[1337]

Yo money it's your mind screwing with you. You recognized she was smoking hot your mind pedestaled her making her value higher and yours lower in your mind. To protect you from rejection or emotional hurt your mind makes your body feel nervous and wierd holding you back so you don't do well because of fear of rejection. Also she's foreign to you and your dudes are like home to you comfortable to them. It's all psychology man. From now on the next time you talk to a hot chick pay attention to this nervousness and wierd feelings as your talking to her and accept it font try to reject it. You will soon see how your mind is holding you back and you will simply just laugh at it. Most people usually mess up conversations by retreating back into thier mind.