After 7 years, I get child support reduced...

[TheLadiesMan]

..so instead of paying $600 a month, now I pay $300. Presently paying $500. That's with covering him also on my insurance plan.

She wants more money... so we're back in court Friday.

Any suggestions, tips?

 

[Borknagar]

I don't have any, but hearing **** like this so much made me happy as **** I got a vasectomy 3 1/2 years ago! How many kids ya got anyway? How did you get it reduced? $300 would be pretty low compared to everyone I know payin up.

 

[sodbuster]

Bring a lawyer... IF you don't know what to say when, the court will NOT give you another chance...ask me how I know.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear All,
Well we sat on our hands while the Matrist Lobby hijacked our whole way of life...The generation that stopped the Japs on the Owen Stanleys and Kohima Ridge...That died Terrible deaths in the Icy Seas or on Phillipine Death Marches...Just let themselves be led like Lambs to the Slaughter as one freedom after another was demolished...The latest I have found is that,after death. I must dispose of my property equitably after death...Despite that two of my five Kids couldn't care a rats toss for me...The enemy are not the Arabs or Afghanis they are the vocal left wing elite within our walls.

 

[Rubirosa]

Dear All,
Well we sat on our hands while the Matrist Lobby hijacked our whole way of life...The generation that stopped the Japs on the Owen Stanleys and Kohima Ridge...That died Terrible deaths in the Icy Seas or on Phillipine Death Marches...Just let themselves be led like Lambs to the Slaughter as one freedom after another was demolished...The latest I have found is that,after death. I must dispose of my property equitably after death...Despite that two of my five Kids couldn't care a rats toss for me...The enemy are not the Arabs or Afghanis they are the vocal left wing elite within our walls.

So true in every respect.
In regards to your kids Scara, why don't you just blaze through everything, so that all that's left for the two are a skeleton and some empty cans of Fosters's ?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Rubirosa,
Interesting isn't it?.....When we chose a name we reveal a lot about how we want the World to see us...And Rubirosa,your views do credit to your worthy namesake...Thanks for your comments....To answer your question...in achieving any objective you change along the way...So while I have succeeded in amassing a respectable stash,I am unable to blow it,though I would dearly love to do that....I had a friend,a Yorkshire Man hard as nails....He had it all worked out....At 69 one Thursday evening He walked with me for two hours...Told me he had resigned at work,we yarned about all the wonderful things he was going to do....The Appalacian Trail,the Andes,Tibet.....On the following Tuesday morning,in full view of a surveillance camera,he slipped on a pool of oil where he worked,hit his head on the concrete floor and a week later they turned the life support system off...This man left an estate of three million dollars....he was so mean that his dinner was a tin of baked beans which he warmed on the pilot light of his hot water system.

 

[azanon]

Any suggestions, tips?

By tips, you mean how to pay the least amount to support your son or daughter? I don't think I'd want to do that even if I could.

I've never been in this situation, but I do have a son. I know if I split with the wife, I wouldn't need a court to tell me to help pay my fair share. As strange as this might sound, I want to support my son financially.

I am open to counter-points to the one I expressed. I don't want to judge, but I admit I can't identify at all with anyone that doesn't want to support their kids.

 

[Iceberg]

I am open to counter-points to the one I expressed. I don't want to judge, but I admit I can't identify at all with anyone that doesn't want to support their kids.

I don't know this guy's situation, but my first assumption is that he loves his kid and he just doesn't want his ex (or the courts) garnishing a portion of his salary every month.

Now, of course he could also be a total deadbeat. But I'm assuming it's the former and not the latter.

Child support isn't "How much money I'm giving my child." it's "How much money I'm giving the mother of my child."

He could just as easily be taking his kid out to lunch, paying for school supplies, and other parental things, and STILL "owe" the ex money just because she gave birth to the kid. Essentially making it a shakedown.

 

[Strelok]

By tips, you mean how to pay the least amount to support your son or daughter? I don't think I'd want to do that even if I could.

I've never been in this situation, but I do have a son. I know if I split with the wife, I wouldn't need a court to tell me to help pay my fair share. As strange as this might sound, I want to support my son financially.

I am open to counter-points to the one I expressed. I don't want to judge, but I admit I can't identify at all with anyone that doesn't want to support their kids.

The problem is not supporting your son or paying his school bills, the problem is that giving money to a woman and tell her to use for the kid only is like giving a box of 6 beers to an homeless and tell him he can take only 1 after he delivers it.

 

[azanon]

I don't know this guy's situation, but my first assumption is that he loves his kid and he just doesn't want his ex (or the courts) garnishing a portion of his salary every month.

Why would he care (if he were me). If it wasn't garnished, she'd get it anyway. Anyone who thinks kids are cheap immediately proves that they never had any by saying it.

Child support isn't "How much money I'm giving my child." it's "How much money I'm giving the mother of my child."

I see this point in theory. My son is 8. I'd be for giving it directly to him too if he had even half of an idea what to do with it.

All he'd need to know to chill out is that her costs will be, matter of fact, higher with the kid than without. A LOT higher. Again, I have a kid, and I lived during a period of time without them. There is a HUGE difference in cost.

I just saw some recent research that showed that for a middle-class family, it costs approximately 220K to raise one kid, NOT counting college costs. I think it's safe to say he's getting quite a bargain so far.

 

[azanon]

The problem is not supporting your son or paying his school bills, the problem is that giving money to a woman and tell her to use for the kid only is like giving a box of 6 beers to an homeless and tell him he can take only 1 after he delivers it.

Well, you're talking about a completely different problem there. Who'd marry a woman like that? My wife is like me, she loves her kid more than she loves herself.

If that really describes his situation, lets start a thread on that. That's a much bigger problem - that he'd marry a woman even remotely with a character like that.

 

[5string]

The OP asked what he should do tomorrow.

Bring a good lawyer to make sure you are protected legally.

Remember the old saying, "he who represents himself is a fool?" I hope you are not doing this.

Luck to you.

 

[zekko]

By tips, you mean how to pay the least amount to support your son or daughter? I don't think I'd want to do that even if I could.

I've never been in this situation, but I do have a son. I know if I split with the wife, I wouldn't need a court to tell me to help pay my fair share. As strange as this might sound, I want to support my son financially.

I am open to counter-points to the one I expressed. I don't want to judge, but I admit I can't identify at all with anyone that doesn't want to support their kids.

Look, azanon's become a moralist!


$500 a month doesn't sound crazy to me, but there's too little information to comment on this really. Did the OP want to share custody but the courts game it to her? Did they decide together that she would raise the child and he would pay? Not to mention other things I wouldn't ask like how much he makes and such.

 

[SecondHalf]

Are there not tables published in your country / state that show the amount of money you will pay based on both your salaries?

Bring a lawyer for sure, but know what the law expects of you too.
Lawyers are ... well ... Lawyers!

SH

 

[Three]

LadiesMan - How did it go? I feel your pain, but have a good relationship with my ex. Like Scaramouche, I have five kids, too, but a great relationship with each of them. They're all still young, though, and I pay a boatload of child support as well as half of all school and activity expenses.

The courts are almost always most receptive to those parents who seem reasonable and who are mostly concerned about the welfare of the children. In most cases, it's very possible to sit down with the ex and attorneys before it comes to standing in front of a judge. Then you can cut a deal.

If I hadn't worked something out with my ex beforehand, I'd be living in a shithole eating cans of beans and drinking 2 buck chuck.

 

[sodbuster]

Azanon, never get divorced. YOU may start out being reasonable....but she won't[or her lawyer will talk her into being unreasonable] Divorce is war,she'll nuke you and you'll be left sitting there with a stupid look on your face and a flaming hole in your jeans where your wallet USED to be.

There's a difference between what it costs to raise a kid and what you end up paying your ex-wife. When you get a divorce,she takes half in the settlement, you have the kid half time,you supply his school car,clothes,school lunch and pay $750/month[since you've already bought the house-settlement] for the 3 pair of jeans and 20 t-shirts he has at her house? I guess I'm paying for her utilities,cable and groceries

 

[Zarky]

Don't know how this relates to "Meeting, Dating, and Attracting Women".......?

 

[Rubirosa]

Dear Rubirosa,
Interesting isn't it?.....When we chose a name we reveal a lot about how we want the World to see us...And Rubirosa,your views do credit to your worthy namesake...Thanks for your comments....

One of the main reasons I chose him as a screen name is because by all accounts he was a very nice man. Hell, even JFK liked to hang out with him ! I read alot on these boards about the value of being an a-hole, but I believe that it's very easy to be a decent guy and still get tons of chicks in bed. By no means however am I confusing nice with weak ! Because the world is full of a-holes and one must be tough to deal with them (as was Rubirosa).

 

[Rubirosa]

Back to the thread.
I know a guy who was getting nailed in child support payments, so he went back to court and................
Proved that his ex wife could have easily been working more if she chose to
(she was teaching 1 community college class per week)
and...........
He wanted more custody time of his two daughters
In the end he got his support reduced by 50 % and one very angry ex-wife

 

[Rubirosa]

Well, you're talking about a completely different problem there. Who'd marry a woman like that? My wife is like me, she loves her kid more than she loves herself.

If that really describes his situation, lets start a thread on that. That's a much bigger problem - that he'd marry a woman even remotely with a character like that.

My initial reaction to your posts in this thread was to respond in anger, but instead, I'll just offer this...........
Nobody gets married with the idea that their Bride will change into another person (or else they wouldn't get married in the first place). Every bad marriage has it's good points (good sex, same sense of humor, whatever). but divorce does something to a woman.
It's difficult to describe, but to me it's something like a worker who all of a sudden decides that their value increases once they are aware of their union rights. They could have been a crappy worker who deserved to be reprimanded, but as soon as they see their union contract explaining their rights, their opinion of themself changes to that as the most skilled, overworked, victimized producer on the planet, and that a legal document will support this opinion.
IMO, American women have a huge sense of entitlement when it comes to divorce and child support. A husband's financial state can be totally disected in order to determine EXACTLY how much he should pay, but women are NEVER required to provide monthly documentation of their "Child Expenses".
Enjoy the married life of warm fireplaces, popcorn and TV, because if it ends, the results of this bliss are of little concern to cold, legal documents