"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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after 4y NC, ex asks to come over and party

Silko

Don Juan
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Wondering how I need to take this.

Since 1 week, I have contact with an ex, after literally 4y NC.
We communicate recently via e-mail ... communication is very open (better then in past) and seems we still have our crush. The first thing she said and repeated 3 times in her first reply is that she is very content to hear me again and hope it doesn't stop here.

Now, she simply invited me to come over and join a party.
She told too having a bf since few months.

Maximum plating, right?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Filter

Don Juan
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I wouldn't even bother responding.

Unless I broke up with a girl for distance reasons, like she or I moved for whatever reason, I probably don't need her in my life again.
 

Silko

Don Juan
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I wouldn't even bother responding.

Unless I broke up with a girl for distance reasons, like she or I moved for whatever reason, I probably don't need her in my life again.
It was a distance .. and I fly to the country where she lives (for a conference). I'm not that far (1 hour train) from her.
 
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Filter

Don Juan
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It was a distance .. and I fly to the country where she lives for a conference. I'm not that far (1 hour train) from her.
Then keep in contact. You said she currently has a boyfriend? I'd only go to the party if you're sure you can handle seeing them together.
 

dude99

Master Don Juan
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Wondering how I need to take this.

Since 1 week, I have contact with an ex, after literally 4y NC.
We communicate recently via e-mail ... communication is very open (better then in past) and seems we still have our crush. The first thing she said and repeated 3 times in her first reply is that she is very content to hear me again and hope it doesn't stop here.

Now, she simply invited me to come over and join a party.
She told too having a bf since few months.

Maximum plating, right?
Ask your self why did you go no contact 4 years ago? She either broke up with you or you broke up with her and you NC her because she wouldn't leave you alone.

Now ask why did you two break up ? There had to be some problem that drove one of the two of you to end it.
Those problems will still exist and you two will be fighting again in no time. I believe in one chance per lifetime. She blew it 4 years ago. She must have run the gamut on the kok carasol to be looking up an ex from 4 years ago.

No offences to you in saying so. When an ex you haven't heard from in years suddenly comes out of the wood work it usually means she has burnt a lot of bridges so she has to look to the past to start a "future. " don't be her sucker
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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EyeBRollin

Master Don Juan
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If she contacted you, you better have invited her over to **** her brains out.

Save the sappy garbage for her beta orbiters. Get right to the point and get her over.
 
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