Afraid of being hurt?

[squirrels]

Read this. This is taken from another forum I'm on. No names...not sure if this is considered "intimate", but I think it's something that you guys would benefit from seeing.

Girl:

ever like someone so much...
...that you never want to see them again?

I am in that situation, and so is the object of my affection. We clicked together like neither of us ever has before, so much so that I think we will never see each other again. It was just WAY too scary. We are like, the same person.

Hard to explain. And this after only 2 perfect dates.

Ever met someone like that?

How did you get past the fear, knowing that if you let this person get close to you, and they betrayed or left you, that it could end your "emotional life" forever?

Both of us have been devastated by relationships before. How can 2 people that are so gun-shy really take that kind of risk again?

It is probably a moot point... I doubt he wants to see me again, even if I want to see him. It is just too scary. I may be willing to take a risk, but I don't think he is.

Time will tell, I guess.

My question:

Let me go out on a limb here...does the fact that HE doesn't want to take the risk...bother you?

What I mean is, do you WANT him to want to take the risk? Do you want HIM to show you the courage and conviction required to persevere in the face of past scars? And somehow lead and guide YOU through that risk with him? Is the fact that he's not taking that lead/risk what's making you not want to see him again?

Her reply:

That's a hard question. I can't blame anyone who has been that hurt in the past for being cautious. Maybe he isn't ready for the risk. Maybe after a string of disappointments, I'm not ready to take the risk. Yes, I would love it if HE would be the one to be confident and assertive and say **** it, we're going for it, and see what develops. If he did that, I would do the same.

Maybe I am really old fashioned, but I think the man should be the one to take the lead in a relationship, then take his woman by the hand, and walk with her side by side. Consequently, I have trouble respecting a man who lets fear dictate his course of action. OK to show fear, acknowledge fear, but not to give in to it.

Just something to think about.

 

[Caveman]

I understand what she is saying but.. How can he be so perfect when he acts like a wuss?

I think more women realize today that they actually want the man to lead. I guess they are slowly coming to the conclusion that it is not as much fun as they thought it would be to be leading the guys.

 

[Cheiradawg]

Originally posted by Caveman
I understand what she is saying

Then you are the MAN!