AFC voicemail or not?

[stickman21]

So I'm trying to setup a second date and got the VM, left something similiar on VM when setting up the first date. Here is what I said:

"hey ABC, it's XYZ, just calling to see if your available this weekend so give me a call back and lets try to make plans"

Discuss...

 

[Skalioppe]

You didn't frame it enough for my liking. My approach is more direct....

"Hey ABC, it's XYZ. Fancy meeting me at <name a place>, 8pm Saturday? Let me know by Thursday afternoon, or I'll assume you're washing your hair for the evening. <Laugh>. Bye for now!"

I like to take control and frame exactly time place and when I expect notification, a little humour helps too. There's no ambiguity my way and I find the success rate is higher, women love men taking the lead. If they can't make it, they'll normally reply anyway to try to rearrange another time - again make sure you decide where.

Personally I think you left it far too much in her court and too much in the air, so there's a chance she may flake. but whatever you do, don't go back now you've done it.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Agree with Skalioppe and keep in mind as well that prior any investment on you from a woman (like having sex) she will find any possible reason to flake.

The way you left your message actually not only leave her the chance to refuse a date easily but also made you appear as an optional easily available according to her will (availability is a turn-off for many women).

Instead if you formulate as Skallioppe suggested, you will give the impression that you are available only under certain conditions so you're in demand (adverisers know this trick really well anytime they say "for today only").

So again, create your frame for the event and present yourself in a way which push her close to you.

Most of all dont let women take decisions, you lead and you are in control.

 

[Sneevox]

I personally dislike leaving voicemails.
Doing so gives the other person no option to respond and work around your suggestions.
Just hang out with another girl if she doesn't pick up.

 

[stickman21]

hmmm. interesting. I see what you guys are saying. however, I still think it comes off as confident despite making it seem like I have open availability.

 

[stickman21]

so surprise surprise, 24 hours later and no call back. what's the next play here guys?

 

[CR103030]

so surprise surprise, 24 hours later and no call back. what's the next play here guys?

There is no next play. She already knows you're in love with her from your voice mail. "let's make plans" sounds like you guys are already BF/GF. Take charge next time and tell her what YOU want to do. I wouldn't call her back for at least 2 weeks. This time, don't leave a message b/c girls playback pathetic guy messages to each other and laugh about it all the time.

 

[J Roc]

why leave a voicemail at all? she will see your missed call and call back..if she wants.

 

[stickman21]

My thinking is that it's better to leave a voice mail then not.

 

[cordoncordon]

This is ridiculous. Some of you are acting like if you don't say exactly the right thing at exactly the right time in exactly the right way to a girl, then you are screwed. THAT IS AFC. For even thinking that way, let alone acting on that thought process. Man some of you put women on such a pedestal its sickening. You really think you have to be that perfect around a women? If you do, you have problems. Deep seated insecurity problems. What did people do for 50 years when texting and emails weren't around? Left a message just like that on an answering machine and things got along A Ok.

What the OP did was fine. There is NOTHING wrong in what you did. You called her instead of texted, which is great. You acted interested, but didn't go overboard, and you asked her out. What is the big deal? Nothing. What you did was perfectly normal. The fact is if she was interested, she would or will respond and either go out with you this weekend or make plans to another time. She is not going to listen to that voicemail and say to herself, "oh, OP didn't exactly word that VM right, plus what an AFC to even leave a voice mail, what a loser". Well, she might say that if she is a crazy person. But assuming she isn't....Of course she didn't say that to herself. No reasonable person would.

Keep on keepin on OP. You're fine other than stop over analyzing and getting bad advice.

 

[Purefilth]

^^repped

 

[CR103030]

This is ridiculous. Some of you are acting like if you don't say exactly the right thing at exactly the right time in exactly the right way to a girl, then you are screwed. THAT IS AFC. For even thinking that way, let alone acting on that thought process. Man some of you put women on such a pedestal its sickening. You really think you have to be that perfect around a women? If you do, you have problems. Deep seated insecurity problems. What did people do for 50 years when texting and emails weren't around? Left a message just like that on an answering machine and things got along A Ok.

What the OP did was fine. There is NOTHING wrong in what you did. You called her instead of texted, which is great. You acted interested, but didn't go overboard, and you asked her out. What is the big deal? Nothing. What you did was perfectly normal. The fact is if she was interested, she would or will respond and either go out with you this weekend or make plans to another time. She is not going to listen to that voicemail and say to herself, "oh, OP didn't exactly word that VM right, plus what an AFC to even leave a voice mail, what a loser". Well, she might say that if she is a crazy person. But assuming she isn't....Of course she didn't say that to herself. No reasonable person would.

Keep on keepin on OP. You're fine other than stop over analyzing and getting bad advice.

Definitely say what's on your mind. It's an ALPHA thing to do. At the same time, being a Don Juan is not what you say or how you say things as much as a mindset of SUAVE. Try leaving a voice mail saying , "why haven't you returned my phone call? I've been waiting for 3 days. I've even posted our situation on so suave.com. Please call me back". A don Juan would not have these thoughts so he would not leave this kind of VM.

What we are trying to give the OP is a fake appearance of a Don if looked at a girl's perspective. This is a fake it until you make it mentality.

 

[cordoncordon]

Definitely say what's on your mind. It's an ALPHA thing to do. At the same time, being a Don Juan is not what you say or how you say things as much as a mindset of SUAVE. Try leaving a voice mail saying , "why haven't you returned my phone call? I've been waiting for 3 days. I've even posted our situation on so suave.com. Please call me back". A don Juan would not have these thoughts so he would not leave this kind of VM.

What we are trying to give the OP is a fake appearance of a Don if looked at a girl's perspective. This is a fake it until you make it mentality.

Understood, and I agree. But what I am saying is what the OP said in the VM was just fine. Not afc at all.

 

[RedZone]

Yeah, I don't think that VM was bad at all...it's not like he confessed his love to her...he's just asking to see if she wants to hang.

 

[stickman21]

I guess it's a moot point because I haven't heard back from her.

 

[omega05]

everytime he runs into a situation like this, he's gonna run back to the forum and ask what to do. We can't hold your hand for little things like this