AFC move of the year?

[Dee-Zy]

Ok, so I'll try to keep this as short as possible...

Long story short, this girl in my class, we kinda said we'll go out, but **** happened and that just never happened. Whether the terms were clear or not, I'm still uncertain this day.

Fastforward of 2-3 months of bs, I called her and we kind of went on an impromptu date, she dressed up, so I guess it is fair to say that it was a date. I think things went fairly ok, problem was that I kept the convo too casual (work, school, ect. Not enough about emotions and personal stuff or sexual topics), and there weren't any KINO except for hugs at the beg and end of date.

Next week, she comes to my bday party and she takes pictures for me, bla bla bla.


Here's the problem, I'm busy as hell, working 6-7 days a week and she's pretty busy as well. I call her up today, my only day off is tomorow.
I said I want to see her, she said she's busy and we should just see each other next week. bla bla bla, there are slight complications as I never know when I have a day off. Next week she's working late from like 6pm to 2am, I said, well you know that I live close so worst comes to worst we could still do something. (Green flag?) she said yeah of course, come by and we'll just make plans on the spot (FOR SOMETHING PASSED 2AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!).

here's the juicy part. I feel that we've been circling around the pot for a while, prolly too long (especially me anyways), so I said look. I hate doing this and I would rather say it to you in person but due to circumstances ... I really enjoy spending time with you, I think you are alot of fun. All this time, she's kinda like I think I know where you are going, so I said, I'm not looking for a relationship right now, not necessarily, I don't even think I'm in a right place for that right now. I just really like spending time with you and I want to see you.

She says, I really like spending time with you and that's why I would like to see you as well, but only as friends and I don't see this going anywhere further. I'd like to make this clear so that there aren't any false hopes.

I said ok, well that's too bad, thanks for letting me know, I'll talk to you later.

click









AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Dee-Zy]

I can't believe a girl that was willing to meet me after work at like 2 in the AM, that I am so into, and I ****ing blew it!

Or didn't I? I'm so angry right now. I dont' know what the **** to think! Did I blow it by opening my big mouth or was there nothign there in the first place? I just can't keep on thinking about what girl would be willing to make plans at 2 in the morning with a guy and "just be friends"?

Am I missing something here? Am I an idiot? Or am I just blind? like there has been nothing there since the get go and I'm just tormenting myself over and over?

this pisses me off, I actually liked this girl. ALOT.



Somebody PLEASE say something.

 

[speed dawg]

Chill man, pick yourself up and get another one. No big loss, dude. Sounds like it was, in your words, just alot of bs anyways.

 

[dankane]

The problem is you are a wuss. There is no such situation as you saying a certain phrase and her being like oh I don't like him anymore. You didn't blow it. She just never was attracted to you in the first place. You were a wuss when you hung out, you were a wuss when you called her. You sounded like it was all up to her.

"Oh well I would really like to hang out with you"
"Talking about school and **** like that" You can start off with some stuff like this, but take it somewhere intersting, be in control and just take her on a crazy emotional ride with the topics you talk about. Be confident the entire time that you know where you are going with it.

You gotta be a man, you gotta be a badass. You gotta talk about whatever you want, it isn't up to her. She has no choice, she is lucky you are giving her some time with you. You made it so you were lucky having time with her, which is unattractive. You could say whatever the **** you want, if your masculine and badass and dominant and in control, she will be attracted. But you were a little *****, so learn and move on cause you will never be with this girl. :kick:

 

[Desdinova]

problem was that I kept the convo too casual (work, school, ect. Not enough about emotions and personal stuff or sexual topics), and there weren't any KINO except for hugs at the beg and end of date.

Sounds pretty boring to me. Where the hell did you take her?

Taking women on dates that they'll never forget will get them thinking about you. If you take her to a movie, she'll remember the movie. If you take her to McDonalds and get into a fry throwing war with her, she'll remember you.

Forget about going out on dates and trying to get her approval. Go places where you're going to have fun, whether she likes it or not. If you're having fun, she'll also have fun. Take her to a park and spin her on the merry-go-round. Sit in a parking lot and do some people-watching.

Fvck what she thinks, you're gonna have fun!

 

[Dee-Zy]

Sounds pretty boring to me. Where the hell did you take her?

Taking women on dates that they'll never forget will get them thinking about you. If you take her to a movie, she'll remember the movie. If you take her to McDonalds and get into a fry throwing war with her, she'll remember you.

Forget about going out on dates and trying to get her approval. Go places where you're going to have fun, whether she likes it or not. If you're having fun, she'll also have fun. Take her to a park and spin her on the merry-go-round. Sit in a parking lot and do some people-watching.

Fvck what she thinks, you're gonna have fun!

We walked around a little bit and grabbed dessert.

 

[Dee-Zy]

The problem is you are a wuss. There is no such situation as you saying a certain phrase and her being like oh I don't like him anymore. You didn't blow it. She just never was attracted to you in the first place. You were a wuss when you hung out, you were a wuss when you called her. You sounded like it was all up to her.

"Oh well I would really like to hang out with you"
"Talking about school and **** like that" You can start off with some stuff like this, but take it somewhere intersting, be in control and just take her on a crazy emotional ride with the topics you talk about. Be confident the entire time that you know where you are going with it.

You gotta be a man, you gotta be a badass. You gotta talk about whatever you want, it isn't up to her. She has no choice, she is lucky you are giving her some time with you. You made it so you were lucky having time with her, which is unattractive. You could say whatever the **** you want, if your masculine and badass and dominant and in control, she will be attracted. But you were a little *****, so learn and move on cause you will never be with this girl. :kick:

I think you are on the money here dude, thanks.

 

[Desdinova]

We walked around a little bit and grabbed dessert.

Well, that's nice. I'm guessing the highlight of the date was desert.

If you dabbed whipped cream or ice cream on the tip of her nose, that would be fun! If you threw her in a pile of leaves during your walk, that would be fun! If you pulled off her shoe while she was sitting, ran away with it, and teased her to come and get it, that would be fun! Embrace the inner-child and have fun with her! She'll remember all the fun she had, and will mentally connect fun & excitement with you. She'll want another date to see what other adventures the two of you will have together.

Put her and yourself in situations where you can be playful. Being playful is more interesting than being boring.

 

[Dee-Zy]

Well, that's nice. I'm guessing the highlight of the date was desert.

If you dabbed whipped cream or ice cream on the tip of her nose, that would be fun! If you threw her in a pile of leaves during your walk, that would be fun! If you pulled off her shoe while she was sitting, ran away with it, and teased her to come and get it, that would be fun! Embrace the inner-child and have fun with her! She'll remember all the fun she had, and will mentally connect fun & excitement with you. She'll want another date to see what other adventures the two of you will have together.

Put her and yourself in situations where you can be playful. Being playful is more interesting than being boring.

thanks, that sounds good. It was my first date in a while, I realized after the date that I was just nervous. I think I would of been ok for a 2nd one...

nevertheless, I basically got rejected right now and for some reasons I just have such a hard time dealing with this crap. I think it's because I actually liked this girl alot. She was a lot of fun, great girl!

Usually, I just cut off girls that I am interested in and that just wants to be friends, but I think I'm in denial right now thinking that I can push this further... AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH, what's wrong with me?

 

[Desdinova]

but I think I'm in denial right now thinking that I can push this further... AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH, what's wrong with me?

One-itis perhaps?

 

[Pimp-sicle]

The others have pretty much hit the nail on the head here, but I just want to reiterate one point. You didn't lose her interest because you said that bullshyt on the phone. You lost her interest the first time you guys went out because you FAILED to attract her to you!! In your own words, you said you talked about boring stuff, no teasing, flirting etc. That's the fast way to make a chick run away from you.

And just because she's said she was willing to stop by your house after work @ 2am, doesn't mean she was into you. I highly doubt she would have came over anyway, but if she did she could just geninuely like you as a friend.

Don't fret, just learn how to attract women rather than make them your friend.



PIMP

 

[Dee-Zy]

I'm doing better, I went out with some friends yesterday and had a blast, but she's still not out of my head completely



argh, this is pathetic.

 

[vp171s]

I'm doing better, I went out with some friends yesterday and had a blast, but she's still not out of my head completely



argh, this is pathetic.

would it help you to know that most of us would/do feel exactly the same?

You know dates have too many variables to take care of and wondering if it was your fault or not does not matter. Just think about what you would do different if you had the opportunity, and do just that next time.

You should consider yourself lucky that she isnt wasting your time with mind games. She told you straight up which is a big bonus to her.

So what you need now is time off, don't go on any friend dates, you need to heal your ego. You'll know when that has happened when you can look back and snicker.

Goodluck man

 

[Dee-Zy]

would it help you to know that most of us would/do feel exactly the same?

You know dates have too many variables to take care of and wondering if it was your fault or not does not matter. Just think about what you would do different if you had the opportunity, and do just that next time.

You should consider yourself lucky that she isnt wasting your time with mind games. She told you straight up which is a big bonus to her.

So what you need now is time off, don't go on any friend dates, you need to heal your ego. You'll know when that has happened when you can look back and snicker.

Goodluck man

thanks

I'm trying to get her out of my head by working as much as possible, it's been almost a week and I still think of her, it pisses me off.



any more comments/advice/help are appreciated



GHOST

 

[cant think of a user name]

I'm trying to get her out of my head by working as much as possible, it's been almost a week and I still think of her, it pisses me off.

Hey man don't worry about it, why do you feel so pissed off?

Sometimes a girl can get into your head like that, and it doesn't make you AFC or any less of a man, it's just something that can happen to a person. You're only human.

When you get pissed off about it, it will only remind you of her even more.

Give it some more time.


I don't know how relevant this is, but sometimes this site can make you feel like you have to behave a certain way all the time, and that's ****ed because we're all different individuals here. I know this site can open up a whole lot of opportunities but it also restricts us if we're not careful about the advice we take. I say **** the rules and be free of the superficial standards.