AFC in love with my girl

[ultrashogun]

Following situation : My Long term girlfriend(1.5 years) is chinese and within her chinese community there is a boy, he lives far away so the two barely ever see each other(maybe once a year). Some weeks ago the guy asked my girl if she wants to go on vacation with him, she said yes but told him that her boyfrien, I, would come to. After that he sorta broke contact with her and today she got a letter in which he states how hes been in love with her for 3 years already, a really mushy letter that has AFC written all over it. So my girl asks me if I still wanna go on vacation with him and her. I told her that its ok, but I dont want him being all depressed and jealous and **** cause thatll ruin it for all of us.

Do you think I reacted correctly?

What would you have done?

Thanks in advance for your input

 

[ultrashogun]

She also asked me what she should answer this guy, maybe you can inspire me.

 

[squirrels]

This kid is going to be trying to "get with" her using every AFC tactic in the book. You know this, right?

This may or may not include trying to undermine you. Do you really want to hang out with someone who may be bitter at you?

I'd just tell her you don't want to go, but she can if she wants. Shows that you're NOT jealous, but you're NOT going to be goaded into something you don't want to do.

She'll probably be like, "Noooo I want you to come with meee," which is when you propose another activity with just the two of you...or with friends that WON'T be desperately trying to compete with you.

 

[ultrashogun]

your right squirrels
Ive anticipated him making some sort of "plan". Why else would you spend two weeks with the girl you want and the guys shes with. Probably not to listen to us **** every night in the next room, right?

I dont think well be doing our trip with him anyway. First of all I think my girl was just testing me when she asked, I think I answered correctly when I said its ok if he go with him.
Second I dont think hes gonna want to go anyway( reasons above ).

 

[becker]

I think that the guy watched a few too many romantic comedies where the AFC always gets the girl in situations like this.

In his mind, what's supposed to happen is that both of you go with your GF on the trip, some conflict is stirred up, she gets to know him better because of it, but she ends up going home with you still, only to go running back to his arms at the end. Seen that one before.

Anyways, I honestly feel for the guy, since I know we all have been there at some point before. It's not easy, and I guess it's a good example of what people here probably shouldn't do, so at least there's a lesson to be learned by this. The good girls are always taken.

 

[ultrashogun]

Words of wisdom becker. This situation actually reminds me of the time when I was is the same situation. I enden up depresed for months. Well at least the depression made me start to work out which boosted my ego and made me what I am today.

 

[Walden]

Semd him the PDF DJ bible.He'll be getting so much pusssy he won't havetime to mack on your girl.

 

[Sir Jeffrey]

What does AFC mean

 

[ultrashogun]

read the introductory texts

 

[nautica34342]

AFC a ****ing chump
Just cause he shows his emotions does not make him a chump because your girls going on a vacation with him. Now hes a little clueless about some stuff but that doesnt make him a chump he doesnt know any better. He still got this situation though if u play it right.

 

[ultrashogun]

No, hes not going on vacation with my girl. If he were to go then Id go to. But he doesnt wanna go since my girl told him that were together.

 

[ultrashogun]

yeah

 

[Framboise]

hey, let her go by herself with him. hes an Average Frustrated Chump. this is where you can see if your girlfriend is really worth it or not. He's obssesed with her and he knows she has a bf theres no way hes gonna get her, wheres his element of challenge? tell your gf you love/trust her enough to let her go with this guy and smile about it. crack a joke about how many girls your gonna get when shes gone and leave it at that.

 

[Bungo Pony]

Why do you need this AFC as a reason to go on vacation with your woman? Tell her "I think it would be nicer for just the two of us to go on vacation", then plan one. She'll be more excited about spending time alone with you on vacation than you, her, and AFC.

 

[Reto]

AFC =

1) Writting a letter telling her how he feels.

2) Pursuing her even though she has said I have a BF.

3) Major oneitis.


Poor guy. He has no clue...

 

[ultrashogun]

Why do you need this AFC as a reason to go on vacation with your woman? Tell her "I think it would be nicer for just the two of us to go on vacation", then plan one. She'll be more excited about spending time alone with you on vacation than you, her, and AFC.

I did that. That was the initial plan anyway since shes been wanting to go to Italy.

 

[princelydeeds]

first of all please check this trick. Shes playing both of you. She should have soundly put him in his place a long time ago. If he wrote her some silly BS about taking both of you on vacation she should have just ignored it. Why in the world would you want to go on a vacation with some dude who wants your woman? Thats ridiculous! This chick sounds like an attention wh0re. She just wants to see two guys compete over her. this ends with her looking like a total pimp and both of you looking like AFC's.

The whole thing is crazy to me. If she came to me with some crap like this i would have said " You don't have to prove that you're beautiful, I wouldn't be with you if I didnt already think so, so why are you rubbling the fact that some AFC is interested in you in my face? Im sure you reject lots of guys every day, but you dont have to tell me about all of them. What do you really want from me? Are you trying to make me jealous? Does jealousy prove I care?" I'd leave it at that and expect her to put any sucker in his place.

 

[cestmoi]

Originally posted by princelydeeds
first of all please check this trick. Shes playing both of you. She should have soundly put him in his place a long time ago. If he wrote her some silly BS about taking both of you on vacation she should have just ignored it. Why in the world would you want to go on a vacation with some dude who wants your woman? Thats ridiculous! This chick sounds like an attention *****. She just wants to see two guys compete over her. this ends with her looking like a total pimp and both of you looking like AFC's.

The whole thing is crazy to me. If she came to me with some crap like this i would have said " You don't have to prove that you're beautiful, I wouldn't be with you if I didnt already think so, so why are you rubbling the fact that some AFC is interested in you in my face? Im sure you reject lots of guys every day, but you dont have to tell me about all of them. What do you really want from me? Are you trying to make me jealous? Does jealousy prove I care?" I'd leave it at that and expect her to put any sucker in his place.

Mmmm... I think ultrashogun handled it much better than you suggest he oughta have.

P.S

An advice: Don't go around this board calling guys' long time girlfriends "attention *****s". Especially because of the second word in there.

 

[Kwah]

Especially when you are new hear and have yet to contribute something useful. Learn the ropes and then talk.

 

[princelydeeds]

Originally posted by Kwah
Especially when you are new hear and have yet to contribute something useful. Learn the ropes and then talk.

Point taken but just cause Im new doesn't mean Im wrong. Just because Im new doesn't mean my opinion is baseless. Opinions are like a$$holes everybody's got one. I don't mind being told not to be so harsh but dont tell me not to contribute.

I always check the woman, If what I said was wrong to you so be it, I stated my opinion. Im entitled to mine just like you are entitled to yours. I will continue to state it as well. Feel free to disagree, Im a man I can take whatever medicine I dish out.