Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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AFC behaviour now makes you a DJ????

Tantric

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I was at an industry party over the weekend, and as the girl I am seeing is with FORD, there were a HUGE amount of HB9-HB10 models EEEEVVVVERRYYYYYYYWWWWHHHHEREEEEEE.

I went and did my own thing, chatted up a few of the girls while HBOreo did her own thing.

There is this one rule that I would say 95% of ALL us guys do...which is NEG hit, or purposely NOT compliment any HB over an 8, or those who are in the "model" category.

This worked GREAT for years when all these hotties were getting hit up by EVERY guy who was kissing their a$$, complimenting them, buying flowers, etc. So the "guy who was different" was the DJ who did the exact opposite. And he landed the HB.

Now through the "evolution" of how guys deal with MEGA HB's...those guys who call too much, buy flowers, compliment, etc. ALMOST DO NOT EXIST ANYMORE, so not much is left to set the DJ apart from the AFC in these situations, as the DJ is no longer different.

When chatting with these HB's over the weekend I somehow end up getting into "relationship" conversations...how guys are...how women act...etc.

EVERY girl eventually said pretty much the same thing...keep in mind I did not elicit this information, this is something in one form or another was what THEY brought up...

"Guys who are interested have this thing about wanting to be "different" than the other guys...they don't want to compliment or call often, they want to keep a distance so that is shows they are not into me or whatever, to somehow increase MY interest. They don't even give me flowers. The issue is that EVERY GUY DOES THIS NOW! So basically in the last 3 years, every guy I ever dated, every guy who showed interest, and every guy I was interested in would NOT show interest, NOT compliment me, and NOT treat me like he wanted me because he was SOOOOOO focussed on being "different". They would ALL pull this "wanting to be different than the other guy shyt" and I lost interest as I saw through that. NEXT!

I only chatted up 6 girls that night, and I find it odd that EVERY girl had the same opinion.

So...

This proves 1 point of evolution...if we were sooooooo focussed on NOT treating these HB's like every other guy does...and as the years went on, "other guy" started doing the same thing thorugh the evolution of "the system"...are we not now EXACTLY the same as the other guy?

I think women are getting FAR more intelligent into the thought patterns and actions of men...

Thoughts?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Create Reality

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Exactly why we were all pissed when Neil Strauss released "The Game" on the masses. It only gave confirmation to the babes that indeed men are the gameplayers also.
 

SamePendo

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You did the following right?

- Listen to a woman talk talk about relationships and sex.
- Listen to more than a woman talk about relationships and sex.
- You took seriously what they said.
- You thought about what they said.
- You made a thread about what women think on relationships and sex.

And more...

Plus, the moral of what you talked about with them, is to buy them flowers, give compliments, etc. Hmmmmm!!! I'm slow, so bare with me...

I think... think. . . that this is the same story said over again! Hmmm!! Let me continue to think! . . . It's women wanting to be put in a pedestal and wanting to be princesses, etc. Didn't I watch this on tv the last time I turned it on?

So, I'll cut it short, don't listen to women when it comes to subjective themes. It's logic. And you should know it.

Plus, why would you want to spend on a money on a ho, when you could Don Ronny her ass? She isn't a ho? Well, let her prove that, meanwhile, keep your money to yourself.
 

FutureSpartan

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I agree with you man. It amazes me how guys think that somehow busting on a girls chops 24/7 and pretending to be not interested is just gonna make her melt because its "not like all the other guys"

I don't go out of my way to throw compliments and be a kiss ass, but at the same time i dont actively try to be a hardass prick around women, unless they are being extremely disrespectful. I just be myself and talk to women like im talkin to a good friend (good rapport with lighthearted jokes and teasing). It gives a consistency and balance in my conversating and makes it easier for me to screen the women that arent attracted. That to me is a quality that a normal attractive woman can appreciate, desire, and respect from a man.
 

Infraction

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Yeah yeah, thats bull****.
If you play the game, than all of the things she said are true.
If you live in your own reality, than you are the winner.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Obsidian

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You should be stoned for this abominable heresy against DJism, Tantric. Men don't abstain from compliments because they want to be different. They abstain because POWERFUL men have no need to give undeserved praise. That, and it's just plain not smooth. "Wow, you look beautiful in that dress, your eyes are lovely, nice body" <---- How creative! Don't tell her she looks good; make her FEEL good about YOU.

400+ posts and you're still thinking like a chump...Pook save your sorry soul.
 

The Sperminator

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I agree with the original poster. Ignoring them and neg hitting does not work all the time. Actually it seems to only work on the stupid chicks. Like in a previous thread I said that intelligent girls see right through the dj style and won't even bother with you. They want the sweet kind guy. I know many guys on here will say I don't know ****. Well I'll tell you this I know many guys who gave flowers, candy, complemented the girl, call her often and was sweet to her and they got the girl and these are average looking guys. I have a friend who is honestly like a 6 in looks and his last 3 gfs have been 8s and above. How? He gave them flowers hahah no joke. He was just sweet to them and they loved it. He got his first gf by giving her flowers and candy on valentines day and she was extremely hot. So you can listen to these guys on here who think they are pimps but I'm telling you dj style does not work on the quality girls. If you want a stupid girl who probably only likes you for the challenge and will probalby dump you wants she gets bored of your games then go ahead and listen to these guys on here but if you want a great girl then act sweet to her, buy her flowers, talk to her on the phone for hours. It's worked for me and many ppl I know. Ok I'm ready to get flamed.
 

seth

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Every guy she dated for the past few years didn't compliment her? That means for these years she slept with very good natural players. The ones who compliment/supplicate are the AFC's she didn't date.

So, be a confident DJ -you get to sleep with her but she complains about you.
Be AFC -she doesn't date you but claims she wants nice guys.

Ye olde story from the ages.
 

PigAdlemPimp

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Always compliment a hot babe on her beauty, it is the best thing to do if you want to fvck her in the future, just don't act like an obsessive AFC after you have said it.
 

backbreaker

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you are misisng the point.

BIGTIME


First of all, a woman isn't going ot like you just becuase you ddidn't talk to her. Or she isn't going to NOT lke you because you did, or visa versa. There has to be 1) substance and 2) a platform behind your actions

Don't ever take a woman seriously. it would be rational for a woman to tell you what attracts her, but 99% of the time she doesn't even know, because woemn aren't rational. Women react to emotions, men react to logic.

women react to being "love torn" and "head over heels" for a guy. YOur job, beyond all else is to spark thoose emotions. A woman just has to be hot for a guy.

there isn't a woman on earth that can give a man the subjective advice found here on this forum.

That's what I mean by you not talking to her or whatnot is not going to make her want to take you behind the building and give you a BJ


To answer the quesiton, it works if and only if done with confidence and in a non agressive manner. If you can't make a boldsy move on a woman and show her you really dont' give a **** about being rejected, then the avg "you have great looking eyes" isn't going to work. Sometimes it's your only way to go.

But to get deep down to the issue, why are you debating telling a woman you persume to be hot, that she is hot... Thanks Captian Ovbious. Don't you thihnk she already knows? Soend the day with a HOT woman and see the amount of times guys get the "nerve" to approach her. YOu would be shocked. A hell of alot more than appaoch me, I can tell you that. So you aren't telling her something that she hadn't figured out already, her looks have a way on men.

Men don't abstain from compliments because they want to be different. They abstain because POWERFUL men have no need to give undeserved praise.
Nail on the head
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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GamePlan

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I think, it just shouldn't be overdone. Neither way.

Don't shower her with compliments all the time like a chump.

But trying hard not to show interest is probably just as silly as that.

I also agree with SamPendo (if that's what you meant?) as in that this just means she wants to be showered with compliments and be given flowers. But just because she says she would like to be showered with compliments and have guys buy her flowers, does that mean she'll fall for the first guy to buy her flowers? Unlikely.

I think you can take a woman's opinion on what clothes she likes, what a body type she likes in a guy, if she's into older guys or into tall guys,...

but when it comes to judging her own emotions/feelings, that's where it gets complicated and you shouldn't take her word for it. I think most people aren't very good at understanding what makes them tick (most women included...).

Ask a girl if it would make her want a guy more if she saw him with 2 hot chicks, answer: nope, of course not. why would I? (Ive asked a female friend, before).

But in reality I remember going to a bar with 2 female friends and this girl I knew through friends told me out of the blue, that she had heard I had AIM, too and that tomorrow she'll just ask a friend if she can give her my screen name so we can chat blablabla (If I hadnt been there with 2 chicks, she probably would have just said Hi as usual).
 

ValleyDJing

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Tantric said:
Now through the "evolution" of how guys deal with MEGA HB's...those guys who call too much, buy flowers, compliment, etc. ALMOST DO NOT EXIST ANYMORE, so not much is left to set the DJ apart from the AFC in these situations, as the DJ is no longer different.


Thoughts?
I think this isn't true. All you need to do is hit up any hotties myspace and check her picture comments to see all guys do is kiss their ass for being hot.

On a side note...SamePendo, check your pm's bro.
 

Interceptor

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I just think that most women will NOT respond to any man, just because the man tells her she's "hot".
Blurting out all the AFC compliments "You're hot! You're so sexy! You have a great personality! You have the whole package!" when you just met her just sends you into the desperate, AFC "friends zone".
Compliments are meant for women who give you something to work with.
You become too presumptious and desperate when you give the unwarranted compliments to some chick you just met.
Your attraction to her is somewhat already physically stated, in that you approached her and made some tyupe of rapport with the conversation.
If things go well, meaning she has high IL, and gives you back something to work with, escalation is NATURAL.(Escalation DOES includes compliments, guys)
When a man gives a woman too many compliments to early on, he ruins the natural, organic course of the seduction. (Desperation gets stamped on your forehead, and she realizes you have little experience with women. You are expecting and hoping for validation by telling her what YOU think she is/has. You are paying more attention to how YOU FEEL , than if she is buying your Game an is indeed ATTRACTED to you. Big turn off.)
In fact, we can kind of say that this early part is not really a "seduction" at all, more like "Who are you?", "Something about you intrigues me." and "Tell me more about yourself because I find you attractive". Your Seduction comes somewhat after she has expressed interest in you by action and body language, and verbally, and basically she has QUALIFIED and EARNED it.
You're there because you see something, she sees that you noticed her, and if she has high IL, you take the lead and Escalate. If you escalate out of sync, and use bad timing by not paying attention to her body language and signal, you will be rejected and/or get into awkward zones in your interaction.
Again, you can only escalate naturally and organically if you have legitimized you real attraction for her, because you LET HER Qualify for you. When she feels she HAS given you something, THAT is when you and she realize a compliment and Escalation is proper. And if she digs you, believe me she is waiting for it. Again, a lot of the women we approach are on guard for players who just want to bang her. Sure, if she wants to get banged, then let the best man win, but what if she really is a nice girl? What if the girl you like happens to not be a slut?? She is going to be more in tune with a naturla approach.

Finally, guys, try as hard as humanly possible to contain your Ego, and DON'T go after the HBs whom are out of your league and have LOW Interest Level.
 

Das

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You make a good argument, but I'm going to disagree. This jumped out at me--


So basically in the last 3 years, every guy I ever dated, every guy who showed interest, and every guy I was interested in would NOT show interest, NOT compliment me, and NOT treat me like he wanted me because he was SOOOOOO focussed on being "different".


So unless your paraphrasing is off we have 6 girls who:

1. ONLY dated guys who didn't put them on a pedastal

2. Were ONLY interested in guys who didn't put them on a pedastal

3. ONLY noticed someone showing interest in them when they didn't kiss her ass, and by extension failed to notice any guy showing interest who was going with the AFC/typical nice guy route.

Only one conclusion I'm making here is that it doesn't matter if she knows the game or not, she still can't help herself when she meets a guy who follows one of the basic DJ techniques. If you've quoted the girls right, this is about as close to a mathmatical type proof for this stuff as we are going to get. Not that there isn't a time and a place for compliments and the like, but bombarding her right out of the gate just isn't the way to go.

(edit- dammit Inteceptor you beat me to it)
 

Phyzzle

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So you asked women "what do you want"?

And they basically said, "I'm interested in guys who call often, compliment me, and buy me flowers. (Yet by freak chance, I've never slept with a guy who does any of these things.)"

Ummm . . . haven't we been down this road before?

But yeah, I've definitely overdone the ****iness in the past. Just one ****y tease in a conversation is enough.

Here's a simple rule of thumb: Compliment a beautiful woman on her intelligence and imagaination. Compliment a smart woman on her beauty.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Tantric

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Yeah, but the reality is "what is the ultimate goal here?"

Sure, the DJ techniques worked...maybe these guys got laid, maybe they had a few dates or whatever, but what these women were saying is the the DJ attitude got boring, so these these guys got dumped.

In NO WAY am I saying, "now is the time to shower these women with compliments, become an AFC and see what happens YES!!!!"...

...of course not...

My goal is to not extablish DJ techniques and get laid by the best hottie I can find...the reality is that a true DJ should have a HOLD on these HB's...not to bore them to death with the same DJ stuff everyone else is doing, and KEEP getting laid.

A comment was made in this thread that DJ'ing does really work on thes "less intelligent chicks...the high quality inteligent LTR chicks see it coming a mile away.

Spermintaor made a very good point, and I agree.
 

backbreaker

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Phyzzle said:
Here's a simple rule of thumb: Compliment a beautiful woman on her intelligence and imagaination. Compliment a smart woman on her beauty.

spoken like a man who has been there before... BEAUTIFUL!!!
 

Kev07

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the thing with not getting them flowers and gifts is not that you should try to be different than all the other guys, but that why in hell should you buy flowers for a girl you dont know/barely know and most likely haven't done anything for you except look pretty and acted interesting
 
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