Advise and Discuss PLEASE

[Walking Anomaly]

Hey peeps, i invited this girl to come out with me and some friends, she said "definitely" and gave me her number and told me to call her at 4. After work at around 5 i called and she told me that she was going somewhere else, i told her something to the effect of i dont care, im still goin anyway, even if you dont come, and she told me that she would be near the mall and that if i wanted her to stop by, she would. She already has a boyfriend so my only guess is that he made plans with her after i had, and thats why she said she couldnt come with me. Anyway i am pissed because she said definitely at school and then blew me off, and am thinkin about letting her know that i am mad on Monday. I ask that you guys post some ideas as to how i could go about this.

I know the logical thing to do would be to next her, but i honestly jus dont want to, because i feel if i ask her at a more advanced notice than the same day im going out, and since i heard her say that she HATES her boyfriend, i think she'll come. Im open to any advice and also any criticisms.

Discuss

 

[DJoneday]

Next her? Woah woah woah. First off - If she really hates her boyfriend, then don't expect it to last too much longer.

You called an hour later than she expected, not that that's a bad thing to do but if you don't call before or at the time she expects, then she's kind of open for other plans to be made. Also the fact that she offered to stop by shows that she probably just made plans after 4 because you didn't call, but then when you did she couldn't get out of them but still wanted to see you. I don't think there's any real reason to next her just yet.

 

[RaMar]

was this "come out with me and some friends" thing a date thing or a just a hang out thing?

 

[The Irish Corleone]

Her saying she hates her BF doesnt mean really anything, girls say **** like that for attenion and drama.

 

[Walking Anomaly]

it was just a hang out thing, and yes, i agree with corleone

 

[JSH]

Well so you think you have a chance with this girl while she still has a bf, why dont you keep her on a backburner until she is free. Anyway if she really does hate her bofriend and is still going out with him, she is most likely using him, is this the type of girl you want to go out with?

 

[Walking Anomaly]

Good point JSH

Update:
later the night after i had called her at 5 and she said she couldnt go, she actually called back while she was with her boyfriend to tell me she felt bad. I asked why she felt bad, told her not to feel bad, because im still goin out, and told her not to waste my time.
Im jus thinkin its weird she'd call me while she was with her boyfriend.

 

[Smooth as Anything]

You have entered....

























... the friends zone ...

 

[JSH]

personally i would have let her feel bad as it was her fault and she seems to be playing somethin (all gals wanna play), remember you are not her emotional tampon. And yes it is weird, does she actually have a boyfriend and what kinda person is he, is what you should ask yourself. This gal is playing some kind of games though so stay reasonably clear.

 

[Walking Anomaly]

you think so Smooth? well that suks.

I am still angry that she turned me down though, and ill let her know that on Monday. Or should i go about it another way?

i dont know

 

[Walking Anomaly]

I am going to tell her that i was angry by what she did, but i do need some help from you guys. I would still like to ask her out again, and i need some ideas on a closing to say that will make her apologize but also leave me open to ask her out again, because how would it look, for example, if i was angry with her one day, and then the next thing she knows im askin her out again.

Ill give an example of somehow i could leave it open to askin out again, this is just off the top of my head now: i close with something like, " when you're ready to sincerely apologize, and not lie to me, ill be over there" or something like that. In a favorable scenario, she'd come over, apologize, and id be like "im not convinced." Then she'd explain how she is truly sorry, and i say like "prove it." Then she says how, then i say "you tell me," and i say "ill think about it". Then a day or 2 later i tell her that im goin to see a movie or somethin, and id give her a chance to make it up by comin with me.

again im open to any advice or criticisms. Its all in the process of learnin

 

[Walking Anomaly]

bump

 

[DJoneday]

I'm not sure on where you and her stand relationship-wise, but I'm not really seeing why you're pissed? You didn't call when she was available to talk to set something up, if she said she'd call you at 4 and then didn't on a weekend, wouldn't you just go out anyways? It just seems like you're getting worked up over nothing...

 

[Walking Anomaly]

hmm, good point DJoneday, i did go out anyways

 

[JSH]

you got it about right, but remeber there are far more girls out there and if she is not interested, dont try and force her. You will have far more fun if you get out there and enjoy yourself instead of worrying over this one bird.

 

[Walking Anomaly]

I will, of course, heed your advice JSH. You're absolutely right.