Advice... Taking C/F too far... should I apologise???

[fopwood]

Ok, heres the story. Im an ex-too nice guy trying something different. I really like this girl shes mature, cool and a livewire and im sure she likes me, we 'click'. I asked her out a few times, she was always busy but with good reasons (really).

Weve been in email contact and Im naturally ****y funny but I took it too far for her a few times and came across as a disrespectful jerk and hasnt been in touch and has even ignored some emails... which pissed me off. but still see each other through work and she seems ok but distant.

Should I apologise? It seems like a chump move but I think it would work if not too heavy...

seems like the right thing to do.... but goes against all DJ advice!

Any advice much appreciated!

 

[flippinfreak]

You alreayd screwed it up by not escalating in the beginning. It seems as though you aren't even friends with this girl, just an acquaintance who talks every once in a while.

Set up a date, or shut the fvck up and never askt eh question again.

kapeesh?

 

[fopwood]

nah she was high interest it has just tailed off mainly by me being too C/F. just wonder if i can pull out the bag.

 

[flippinfreak]

No, You asked her out "a few times"

Don't tell me it tailed off. Don't ever tell somebody it tails off. It tails off when you stop talking completely.

What are you doing now? How often do you talk?

How often do you think she thinks of you?

 

[fopwood]

going with my gut yes something still there. given nothing to lose im going to give a shot but of course in a c/f way.

 

[King Tuz]

How are you going to tell us that you were a "jerk" when you, just like you said, are a RAFC.

What did you say specifically?



It's US against THEM......:crackup: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[flippinfreak]

I'm saying that you should ignore this girl. Is she the only thing you have going? The only plate spinning?

You've asked this girl out before, and nothing happened, because she said she had something going... It could easily be a lie. THis girl could be being nice to you, and your being a chump and just believing every word she says. have you challenged her at all?

Is she interested because she shows you signs, or because she reacts the way somebody is interested when you take action?

I don't know a damned thing about this girl. Only what you're saying, and I think what your sayiong is that you are being too nice, and you are slightly obsessed with this girl.

PS Is the only place you ever see this girl at work? Is that like, in a store, at a mall, in an office, at a seperate office that you need to visit?

 

[fopwood]

shes after a nice guy and she said thats the reason she was interested in me in the first place. i did the whole ignoring, challenging thing after she couldnt make those dates. she came back just as interested before and not knowing her boundaries i was more rude than c.f so i think its scared her off.

but ive realised i need to force the make or break if its negative then ill fully ignore her and move on...
cheers guys.

 

[flippinfreak]

When I say challenge, I mean verbal challenge. She says something, you say "naw, your probably just lying to me" in a C+F tone. C+F requires the tone, you can't say C+F with a straight face, or laughing your ass off, it doesn't work properly that way.

I hope you don't get worked up about this girl. She may be cool, but she's never gone out with you before, and you say she wants a nice guy, I think that just screams, "I'm a nice guy, she's being nice to me" than you just fool yourself by sying there might be something there.

When you ask her out, and she says no, your going to get lead on., she's going to say this and taht, and not give you a real answer. It is your job to ensure that she says either YES or NO. If she does say yes, I'd hazard to say that she is going to skip the date and say that something came up.

My gut feeling, from knowing so many guys who are obsessed enough to worry about something as trivial as "I asked her out a few times, than I teased her, now I think she angry/scared, what do I do", is that she is NOT interested in you.

Best of luck again, you'll need it. Keep your head on straight, and don't trick yourself into thinking something is there, that really isn't.

 

[Taviii]

flippinfreak said it the nice way, here is a shorter version:

Have some self respect and forget her

 

[fopwood]

Thanks flippinfreak. Good post I know what you're saying. Ive known plenty but shes no b*tch... it was intense interest from her to start with things just got fkd up somewhere... shes said Ive been rude to her by being c/f ( I wasnt). I want to forget her with a clear head so an apology if she took it the wrong way to clear the air then goodbye!