advice regarding the situation with the gf

[Romjuan]

so theres an event the city i live in was hosting this last weekend. my gf was there with her girlfriends getting drunk. afterwards they wanted to go to a club near by however i wanted to go to a different club. so we went our seperate ways for the night. she texted me to come over late nite when she was home but i was already in bed so i didnt.

the next day she found a tampon wrapper in my house bathroom so she questioned me about it. (it was nothing really friends gf must have put it there) but i replied by saying it was nothing and why would you even think that. how would you like it if i searched your phones text messages. she said go ahead and look theres nothing.

i came across some guys name and asked about it. heres what the text conversation said.

gf -" come to xxx bar"
guy- "cool"
later in the night around 2am
"so you live off xxx right? can i come?"


she didnt respond.
i asked for an explanation she said that it was a guy she dated one time before me. she now hookd him up with her girl friend. the girlfriend that night asked my gf to text him to come to the bar. she did. she said after the bar she saw that text and she was mad he would do that and didnt respond.


so now i dont know how to react. we talked about it last nite and that was the explanation i got. do i bring it up again today? do i not bring it up because it isnt alpha? we have been together for 2 years with a 4month break. in between. if i do bring it up how do i talk about it. thanks for help guys. your advice is appreaciated.

 

[Rounder]

Why would you bring up the phone? Why did you then look at it? If you have to look at her phone then it sounds like you don't trust her. If you don't trust her, why are you so close to her?

Did you get defensive about the tampon?

I think bringing it up again just pours gas on the fire. Let it go. If she's a slvt you'll figure it out.

Put this situation on your radar and keep it there til you have reason to drop it. Don't go nuts on her though, don't question her about crap and make sure you're living your life for YOU and not her.

 

[iqqi]

Sounds like a bunch of games, OP.

Why didn't you just tell her what the tampon was, and understand her reaction?

I mean, look at yours.

Quite frankly, some things are questionable. Whether or not you can ask the questions, and ANSWER the questions maturely without games, is going to make or break the relationship.

Not everything is a big game, and not every considerable action is "afc" or "dj", some things are common courtesy and common sense. Both scenarios here are highly, highly questionable, and how you two deal with it is going to define this relationship.

 

[speed dawg]

This isn't going to work, Romjuan. Looking back at your threads starting over this chick, it's just...................not going to work. You're head over heels for her, though, so it seems you're going to learn this lesson the hard way.

And I'm saying this girl is a bad person or anything. It's just that you are extremely AFC and I don't think this girl sees you in a good light. And the bad news (or worse, I should say), is that once she loses disrespect for you, you really won't ever get it back. Ever. Man if I know one, I know a hundred relationships (including some of my own) that end later on when you've broken up and gotten back together. Oftentimes it's in marriage.

Stick around and hopefully learn something this time, because it doesn't seem this situation will end well for you if you don't.

And don't listen to iqqi, her advice is retarded. This is not games to everyone who "gets it". It's pretty cut, dry and defined right there for you.

 

[Romjuan]

great responses from everyone. thanks guys. i definatly need to continue to practice what we learn on this site.