advice pls

[manningtostokley]

I am 27 years old and I am about 2-3 weeks from official divorce, I have a 3 year old son and I've been out of the house and in my own apartment for 4 months. I met this really cute 19 year old who I met for coffee the other day and she is really into me and I like her too. I talked to her for an hour, got some kino in and I got the kiss close at the end. My question to the DJs out there is, when do I tell her about my "baggage"? I mean, I could try keeping quiet about it until after I seal the deal(which I don't think will take long since I have my own place) but won't that cause hard feelings? Anybody out there been through this situation?

 

[Don_Joffe]

I think your in a lose-lose situation. She is 19 years old therefore she is very young and probably wont want to get married for the next 5 years so you got a really big problem here already. I bet she is looking for a month or two relationship with you, nothing more.. If you had to tell her about your wife and son or daughter- she would probably drop you very fast. If i were you i wouldnt tell her AND i wouldnt make her my long term goal of marrying her.

 

[manningtostokley]

well, don't get me wrong, I have no intentions of getting married anytime soon, which is something we actually have in common. But I'll mark your vote down for the don't tell her.

 

[Don_Joffe]

Another thing- Not telling her is Okay, but after all my experiences...The place you are in is a very small world and people hear things and very easily get caught out ...so be very careful here because if she finds out by YOU not telling her it will make it worse...So if i were you say to her "How would you feel if i told i used to be married and im now divorced" if her reaction is good then tell her the truth if it isnt pretend like you were just testing her or make up some excuse.

 

[manningtostokley]

ok, thanks man

 

[Don_Joffe]

I hope ive helped you, if you want more information just go through this website, its a big help to all your questions. GOODLUCK.

 

[dirtymexican]

manningtostokley:

IF your EX is also dating people: Follow advice 1
If your Ex isn't dating some else: Follow advice 2

1. Don't ruin a good thing just yet... Wait until your more intimate relation with her before you drop the bomb.. Go out a few times... Bang her a few times then you let her know about your baggage... If she leaves, ooh well you got something out of it..


2. The fact that your playing around with out being divorced yet isn’t cool, unless your Ex is doing the same thing... In a divorce court this can cause you problems. Judges tend rule more favorably towards the woman anyways. You messing around without being fully divorce could rule things worst for you especially if it is a female judge.. The fact that you’re banging a 19yr chick adds fuel to the fire...


Keep it all down low until its over..

 

[Chief]

Don't tell her..

I wouldn't tell her., plain and simple. And I wouldn't get intimate with her until your divorce is final. You'll feel better about yourself in the long run and keep your self esteem intact.

 

[manningtostokley]

the reason we split was that she found someone else. So she really doesn't care what I do at this point. I've been out of there for 4 months.