Advice please on complicated HB

[pete101]

Being seeing this HB couple times now, things seem to go well use the usual c+f, neg-hits and some kino (but not enough) on first meeting, 2nd meeting not so good in that she mentions some other guy about her being interested in a little bit. (she mentioned him in the first meeting as being an old friend and gave her a lift back home cos he lived near where we were having our date)

it became apparent that she did not realise she was on a 'date' with me during both our meetings which i thought at first was utter BS.. and during our 2nd meeting i was quite astonished she was behaving so disrespectfully taking his call etc..

she even said to me 'oh this guy i'm sexually attracted to him but there's nothing there conversation wise or anything else..' hinting at i seem to provide this conversation and laughter.. clearly something i do not want to be hearing.

the guy was clearly jealous when he called and she was having such a good time with me she didn't care and seemed to be into me but it really unsettled me her statement about him.

to me in translated to 'i want to f*ck him but talk to you..' awful i know and it was verified by her also yesterday the talking part but not necessarily the f*ck me bit, when i tried to verify if she was interested in me that way also she said she 'didn't know yet'.

clearly from what i'm saying this is going to nowhere and seems like im LJBF'd but to be honest it seems more she's attacted to me for my personality and charm rather than my physical looks which this other guy seems to have. do you think i'm wasting my time?

i feel she's becoming attracted to me but at a much slower rate rather than the immediate lust feelings she has to this other more boring uninteresting pretty boy. obviously i'm not happy about this but i feel that i might be wasting my time with her.. any suggestions about how to play this next time i see her?

she knows i like her.. so i've played my cards (bad move) she 'says' she doesn't know if she feels the same way yet and wants to see me more.. is this just girl speak for 'i'm not interested in you that way but we can just be friends and talk but you won't get to sleep with me'?

i'm very confused how to play it next time.. like i need to be more sexually confident and aggressive making the big moves and gestures that display my dominance of the situation. this is the 3rd meeting i'm having with her and i feel like as if i should have at least kiss closed by now or at least done something quite brave to ignite some sort of sexual reaction from her be it positive or negative. would it be better if i just take it slowly as i have been because it seems as if this method might be working though is very slow...?

 

[pete101]

futher update, just seen her just now and she gives me mixed signals and not the IOI's i'm looking for..

she tells me that she was going to cancel and rearrange our meeting today because of some unexpected news with a deadline but didn't want to disappoint me by cancelling cos she thought i would take it the wrong way... see normally that would be a good sign cos i made it clear to her yesterday that if she doesn't feel the same way then i'm walking away as i'm not one of those guys who's happy to be LJBF'd..

but then i get a whole other negative IOI's of no interest ie if i try to sit near her she readjusts herself is aware and knows i like her.. she apologised about having to leave early and and arranged to meet up again in 2 days but went for a handshake and when i suggested i wanted something more as a joke she didn't respond well and said something about not flirting.

then she wouldn't let me take her home and just wouldn't give me a reason then eventually said it's cos it's a stupid reason and that she wanted to read on her journey home on the train..

because i established my boundaries yesterday saying that if there isn't something there then i'm not going to be sticking around and she responded with that she's not 'sure' yet and i suggested carrying on how things are to see.. do you think deep down she already knows and i'm getting stringed along now with her in hope somehow she'll be able to convince me to just be friends?

it just doesn't make sense to me if she didn't want to cancel on me today and rearrange cos of our heated convo yesterday and that i would take it the wrong way.. but we didn't actually establish what the 'wrong' way would have been..

the 2 ways i only see it from are that she either is interested (even slightly) and didn't want to make me think she wasn't by cancelling on me..

OR

she didn't cancel on me in order to preserve what we have because deep down she wants to retain the friendship.

which is the more likely?

i think mighta made the mistake of saying after my whole thing about walking away that 'there shouldn't be anything awkward between us because we get on so well..' i meant to mean that we get on so well that there should be something there.. but she mighta interpreted as 'oh he normally walks away but this time he's prepared to be friends and things wont be awkward'

do you think i should just cancel on seeing her in 2 days?

i think that would throw her off like i actually woke up and realised there's no point in pursuing it.. i hear sometimes that works as it forces her into realising that she's losing me (assuming there is interest in the first place)

 

[saber]

took a breif look...yah ur in freindzone 4 sure...stop asking her if she likes u and kiss her or just walk away...

 

[Señor Fingers]

fo reals.

You are pvssyfooting and she is waiting for you to claim her. She wont wait forever. She has options. So should you.

 

[PectoralisMajor]

I sympathize for you mate, because many years ago I thought as you did.

1) analyzing every move a girl makes, and making sense of it using logic
2) worrying whether your doing the right things, and hoping she will like you
3) being the nice guy, and treating her right

The above are all credible things, but they WONT attract women. Women want a self made man, the end product, a guy who has bettered himself and knows he doesnt need to worry what the women thinks, or try to get her to like him.

A women wants a guy who genuinely doesnt care if she leaves his life tomorrow, friend or no friend. She wants someone strong, mentally and physically - well the better value girls do.

I think all your missing is practice with women, and these things will all come. Make sure your improving your life when you can, by increasing your social circle, going gym, setting up a business, whatever. All these things will show to a girl, without you showing her direct.

Your friendzoned so bad right now its not true. Learn from what you did here, because apart from the laughter and fun, she see's you as a harmless friend.

My advice - keep her as a friend. dont be so available to her. use her to practice with women on, and check out her hot mates ;-)

 

[pete101]

yeah that's what i feared.. i guess i should just cancel our meeting in 2 days then?

if she tries to rearrange it as i expect her to do, i should still ignore it until (hopefully) she realises she's losing me and might succumb to my demands just to get me back in her life..?

i read somewhere that is a tactic that will work IF she already has some interest level in you.. i think it was a ganji technique.

 

[pete101]

cancelling and ganjiing her would show at least where i stand right?

 

[Nikos75]

she even said to me 'oh this guy i'm sexually attracted to him but there's nothing there conversation wise or anything else..'

This is exactly the point that you should have said: "I'm not interested in what you're telling me. You had better talk about this with one of your female friends. I'm not used to waste my time talking when I've got in my mind better things to do"

Then I would rise up to leave and never look back... provided that she would let me leave. The surprise of you being ready to dump her on the spot IMMEDIATELY AFTER having communicated that you're not interested in being just friends with her WILL make any woman see you with more respect, at the very least. At the best this action can trigger attraction inside her and sometimes INSTANT PASSION.

Next time I hope you'll know better...

 

[pete101]

this is great.. the story gets a lot worse. i was suppose to meet up with her last night and she contacts me an hour before saying to make it 10mins later then scheduled cos her class was running late.. (the class was due to finish in half an hour so i dont know how she'd know it be running late half an hour beforehand..) the msg she sent was suspicious already cos it wasn't written like how she normally did like as if she was compensating for something else.

long story short i get there at said time and she didn't show i call her 15 mins later and it rings but no response, then again 10 mins later, then i msg her (on the assumption she's still in class and can't answer) and i dont get a reply.. then i call one last time as i leave and the phone is turned off.

clearly to me this b1tch is up to no good.. at first i thought her phone might have been stolen but i realise this morning that isn't the case. she's really dumb for trying to a fast one on me when she knows im smart enough to figure that out..

i reckon sad to say that this guy i talked about in the previous posts above she was tryna see either before or after seeing me.. and the way last night woulda gone i'd remove that element of her being able to see him.. cos clearly he's calling her and he's the one who's going to win in this situation cos she's sexually attracted to him.. and i reckon her class finished half an hour early that's why she tried to be clever and see him beforehand then me after.. but one thing led to another and ended up blowing me off when it came to meet up.

this is the 4th time we were suppose to meet so it's surprising that she'd act that way, like what she did seemed more a revenge tactic to get back at me.. in this sort of situation as unlucky as i've been i have to cut her off. she hasn't even given me an explanation and if she was sorry that be the first thing she'd do.

even when i made the arrangements with her last night earlier in the day she took longer than normal to respond which seemed fishy and i reckon she thought that if she didn't say yes i'd get suspicious that she was seeing someone else. i'm so peeved off right now and really want to get back at her for her disrespect of me.. but i guess there's nothing i can do accept next her?

i just feel really agrieved for being treated this way and the fact that i allowed myself to turn up and be stood up (even though everything pointed to that she'd be showing up too)

 

[KontrollerX]

Yeah just next the b!tch unless she comes crawling back for your c0ck.

You made several critical errors in this situation that the other brothers already pointed out.

Anyway just a little something you should know is...

Ganji games working doesn't necessarily mean a woman had interest in you. Sometimes doing this just works because a chick can't stand to be the one that gets dumped so she'll come back fvck your brains out for a while or something close to that, anything to draw you in and then just when you think things are going good and you've got this girl the b!tch dumps you repairing her fragile broken ego.

How do you prevent this you might wonder?

Well just trust your gut instinct.

It will tell you in a situation where a woman comes crawling back whether its based on her genuine attraction to you and thinking she's missing out or whether she's just playing some stupid game of ego repair.

If its the second one make sure you beat her at her own stupid game and dump her first as brutally as you can maybe by even making up a story that you will tell her casually when she implies that you and she are together. Your casual story will be something along the lines of "Oh I thought you knew, we weren't exclusive. I've been dating so and so this whole time you and I have been hooking up."

Then she'll probably get mad and say she's dumping you or whatever then you just reply calmly "Well since you were never really my girlfriend to begin with that doesn't make a whole lot of sense but whatever. Don't let the door hit you on the way out."

 

[DonGorgon]

women always have other men on their plate. You need to get in and get what you want. and get out.

 

[pete101]

clearly i must have made further vital errors today trying to find out why rather than just accepting as it is..

i seem to be obssessed with finding out why she didn't even respond to me to apologise or explain when really if she had any morals or guilt that be the first thing she would do as soon as her phone was back on.

turns out apparently her class was finishing 25mins late then her battery died.. it all screams of bullsh1t to me and i told her that.. cos the phone had been off all night and suddenly this morning a delivery report arrived from the msg i had sent. you would have thought a normal person would respond with at least an apology especially at the indiscretion of standing someone up. any normal person with any manners that would be your first responsibility if you were meant to see someone and they left you in the dark waiting wondering what's going on.. there has been so much disrespect on so many levels it's impossible for me to stay calm.

it made matters worse when i called a few time later about 4-5 hours after the msg delivered to find out what the hell was going on cos i was really angry.. then i let my temper get the better of me and sent her some long msg telling her off.. she eventually responded later with that crap i mentioned above about class running late and battery died.. as much as i want to believe her it screams of BS to me.. and fact that i have had no explanation and she just wants to forget the issue tells me she couldn't think of a good explanation in the past 10 hours so just went with that.

i feel this incessant need to get her back but i think there's no way to do that as it's not as i'll get to fvck her and leave her.. so i guess just walking away with some little pride is all i have left?