Advice on where it went wrong

[LuisGarcia10]

Right, this happened about 3 weeks ago but I deliberately waited to post about it as I wanted to get over it, and discussing on here wasn't going to help. I'm pretty much there now, talking to other girls etc, albeit only in the early stages atm. Basically I just want some advice as to where I went wrong, just to try to prevent it from happening again.

Basically I was dating HB7 for just under 3 months in total. To begin with her IL was very high, always initiating contact etc, more so than me, saying she missed me etc (usual stuff basically.) No obvious red flags really, she was going through a bit of a messy break up with her ex as they owned a home together, but in the early parts she didn't talk too much about it. In hindsight I get the impression that although she hated who her ex had become, she still wished it hadn't happened and she was still with the guy that she used to know before he turned into a ****, if that makes sense.

Anyway, all was going well, she lived about an hour away from me so we only saw each other on weekends, which kind of helped I think, prevents things from getting stale. We saw each other every weekend, this is partly wherre I think I went wrong as I was too available, before we met I was out with friends every weekend, and although I did still go out, it was far less regular, the change was quite rapid and quite drastic. About 7 weeks or so into it, she text me saying she wished she could see me during the week (and this is where the confusing ****e begins) I said yeah sure, so she drove an hour on a tuesday night to my house, and had to leave the following morning for 8am, night all went well, we had a laugh etc. Then, she gets to work and sends me some weird text about having a lot going on etc. Anyway, cut a long story short, she said she needed time to think and ended up coming to the conclusiuon that she did want to be with me. Then she was back to calling me the best boyfriend in the world etc. So we carried on,m then about 3 weeks ago I get a text saying the "spark" has gone out of our relationship, and it "wasn't there" between us.

Basically just want to know how I ****ed it up? I know towards the end I did text her too much because she was giving off signs of distance and it got to me. I know I came across as a bit needy at this point, but I must have done something to let it get to that stage in the first place?

To clarify, she is not a girl who is 100% happy with her life currently. She isn't happy in her job, is going through messy **** with her house and is probably a bit of a commitment phobe currently. Also quite paranoid, she thought I liked some girl I worked with and also somehow got it into her head I was on a dating site. I know this is going to prompt a load of low quality woman responses, and you're probably right, but if I write every woman who rejects me as low quality then I risk never learning from my mistakes.

I was never jealous, AFC or anything, although I accept that I was a bit AFC towards the end i guess. She did stuff for me like driving me around etc, so it really wasn't all one way. But I'm intelligent enough to know that a woman doesn't go from such strong IL to dumping so quickly without me usually ****ing it up in some way.

All help appreciated, anything I haven't coivered feel free to ask.

 

[Acq]

She met you in a difficult period of her life, she thought u could make her forget her ex, she used you for sex, you used her for sex, now its over, she is probably over her boyfriend and ditched you too, probably banging someone she feels more attracted to.
let it go, there is more fish in the sea. NC at least for now.

 

[LuisGarcia10]

I'm not really sure it's as simple as that. It's been a year since she broke up with him, and realistically she's not going to forget him whilst in constant contact with him about sorting this house out. Plus she was always talking about doing stuff in the future as well.
You might be right, it might be that simplistic, just trying to make sense of it really.
It's not a case of not being willing to let it go, I am and am NC with her. Don't want her back or anything, just want to try to prevent myself from ****ing up the next relationship basically.

 

[betheman]

" "No obvious red flags really, she was going through a bit of a messy break up with her ex as they owned a home together, but in the early parts she didn't talk too much about it. In hindsight I get the impression that although she hated who her ex had become, she still wished it hadn't happened and she was still with the guy that she used to know before he turned into a ****, if that makes sense. "

no I cant see any red flags either!!!!

you were onto a hiding from the off, soemtimes they work, sometimes they dont, here will always be crap though in these situations. bad time to be getting involved ith anyone

 

[TizZle]

About 7 weeks or so into it, she text me saying she wished she could see me during the week (and this is where the confusing ****e begins) I said yeah sure

Your action here was one of submission. Small mistake

about 3 weeks ago I get a text saying the "spark" has gone out of our relationship, and it "wasn't there" between us.

Basically just want to know how I ****ed it up? I know towards the end I did text her too much because she was giving off signs of distance and it got to me. I know I came across as a bit needy at this point, but I must have done something to let it get to that stage in the first place?

The initial flames of passion always die out in a relationship. It was inevitable. You should have kept your cool. That was your biggest mistake. Learn from it.