Advice on what to do

[Johnsmith8899]

So met this girl about a month ago. Went on four dates. Everything was awesome. Sex, she made me dinner, u name it. After our last date we texted eachother saying we are looking forward to seeing eachother and hanging out again. After that we even sexted eachother for a day. Then I tried hanging with her and she never got back to me. Happened twice. Then there were days between when we were talking and she didn't hit me up anymore. I eventually texted her and said if she wasn't interested no big deal she could of just let me know (which I believe was a mistake). She said she's been busy (even tho i see her doing **** on her snap chat ) so I told her it was disrespectful to deliberately blow off my calls (which I think was also a mistake). Then we didn't talk for about 10 days. I texted her while drunk and told her this place I saw reminded me of her. She was enthusiastic about me texting her - responded in like 2 seconds but didn't ask how I was or anything. I texted her some dumb **** and told her I was going to send her male strippers after her upcoming surgery(as a joke). Then the convo stopped. So basically I just get delayed 2-4 word answers if I text her after that. I backed off and never hit her up after the surgery. It's been like 2 weeks. Miss her for sure and want to do things right. Waiting her to get to me though. I think she may have been seeing someone else...

Not sure if I should still withhold contact . Thoughts?

 

[Glassguy]

So met this girl about a month ago. Went on four dates. Everything was awesome. Sex, she made me dinner, u name it. After our last date we texted eachother saying we are looking forward to seeing eachother and hanging out again. After that we even sexted eachother for a day. Then I tried hanging with her and she never got back to me. Happened twice. Then there were days between when we were talking and she didn't hit me up anymore. I eventually texted her and said if she wasn't interested no big deal she could of just let me know (which I believe was a mistake). She said she's been busy (even tho i see her doing **** on her snap chat ) so I told her it was disrespectful to deliberately blow off my calls (which I think was also a mistake). Then we didn't talk for about 10 days. I texted her while drunk and told her this place I saw reminded me of her. She was enthusiastic about me texting her - responded in like 2 seconds but didn't ask how I was or anything. I texted her some dumb **** and told her I was going to send her male strippers after her upcoming surgery(as a joke). Then the convo stopped. So basically I just get delayed 2-4 word answers if I text her after that. I backed off and never hit her up after the surgery. It's been like 2 weeks. Miss her for sure and want to do things right. Waiting her to get to me though. I think she may have been seeing someone else...

Not sure if I should still withhold no contact . Thoughts?

You messed up by losing frame. You showed impatience, frustration, etc.

At the first point that she didnt get back to you, the correct move would have been to just go silent for a few days. After a week you could have shot her a "Hey" message just to ping her interest.

When she said she has been busy, you should have responded with "Yeah me too. Hit me up when you get free and want to hang out again" and left it at that. Really at that point if she doesnt reach out, there is another iron in the fire on her end.

Never text dumb sh!t. Texting, for the most part, should be to the point. A little flirting and setting up the date.

You should have been more cool and aloof. She knows that you were invested in this much more than she was and this is what happens when she was your only option. You're now butthurt over her, whereas if you had 2-3 more options during the time you were hanging out with her, you wouldnt have been so quick to lose your cool because you could have just shifted your attention to another chick that you were banging/hanging out with.

Since its been 2 weeks you can send her a text and say "Hey____, just checking up to see how you're doing after the surgery".

If she responds, let her answer dictate your convo with her. If she just gives you a quick "It went well thanks for asking", just say "great to hear" and move on.

Women nowadays are always looking for the next better option. Once you show them frustration and that you lost composure, it is extremely difficult to get them back on the hook. The only way is to walk away, go find new chicks and maybe they will throw their name back in the hat when they see you are playing the field.

 

[sazc]

You just posted this EXACT story/pattern about a female you met off bumble.

Is this the same female? Is this the pattern that you play out in dating? Or are you a troll that's just fvcking with everyone?

 

[RangerMIke]

Then I tried hanging with her and she never got back to me. Happened twice. Then there were days between when we were talking and she didn't hit me up anymore. I eventually texted her and said if she wasn't interested no big deal she could of just let me know (which I believe was a mistake).

You pushed too hard too soon and spooked her. Flaky behavior is a sign of VERY low interest. Yes it was a mistake calling her out.

She said she's been busy (even tho i see her doing **** on her snap chat ) so I told her it was disrespectful to deliberately blow off my calls (which I think was also a mistake).

Never call out a chick for disrespect, just walk the fvck away. Translation: "I am too busy for you, don't you have a life outside of me?"

Then we didn't talk for about 10 days. I texted her while drunk and told her this place I saw reminded me of her. She was enthusiastic about me texting her - responded in like 2 seconds but didn't ask how I was or anything. I texted her some dumb **** and told her I was going to send her male strippers after her upcoming surgery(as a joke).

YOu should have just walked away. You are done with her until she reaches out first... if she never does, then just go find another chick.

Then the convo stopped. So basically I just get delayed 2-4 word answers if I text her after that. I backed off and never hit her up after the surgery. It's been like 2 weeks. Miss her for sure and want to do things right. Waiting her to get to me though. I think she may have been seeing someone else...

Take the hint... you are done.

Not sure if I should still withhold no contact . Thoughts?

Walk away for good. I seriously doubt she will reach out to you again, so just go find another chick.

 

[wifehunter]

Sooo...many chickies out there...why do we waste time with low interest ones? Ego? Challenge?

 

[Johnsmith8899]

Sooo...many chickies out there...why do we waste time with low interest ones? Ego? Challenge?

Both

 

[Johnsmith8899]

Honestly the outcome I think will happen. She will hit me up in about a week or two. I'll play the game right and I'll have her wrapped around my finger.

I've done a turn around before.

Yes you're right about dating other girls. I do actually and very attractive ones. Sometimes it's important to get the one u want tho.


Guarantee I'll be posting back in a few weeks with a success story(I've done this before)

 

[Glassguy]

Honestly the outcome I think will happen. She will hit me up in about a week or two. I'll play the game right and I'll have her wrapped around my finger.

I've done a turn around before.

Yes you're right about dating other girls. I do actually and very attractive ones. Sometimes it's important to get the one u want tho.


Guarantee I'll be posting back in a few weeks with a success story(I've done this before)

If you have it all figured out, I am not so sure why you are asking us. And if you've done it all before, you should know to stop making the same stupid mistakes.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Women are cats. If you pursue a cat for affection, it will rebuff you and keep away. If you instead ignore it, it will always feel the vacuum and pursue you.

Give women all the space in the world. If they are worthy of you, they will long for you in your absence.

 

[Johnsmith8899]

Because it's good for a discussion

 

[Johnsmith8899]

Women are cats. If you pursue a cat for affection, it will rebuff you and keep away. If you instead ignore it, it will always feel the vacuum and pursue you.

Give women all the space in the world. If they are worthy of you, they will long for you in your absence.

Very true

 

[Johnsmith8899]

Update: Surprisingly still no contact. Switched **** up and spinning a few plates. Could give a **** at this point. Ha. So for those guys in these situations it subsides so don't sweat it. The I don't care attitude is the cure for all. I'll write another post after I go balls deep in her in the future not that I care if I don't.

Held off with the AFC call- thought about it after the surgery but nahh stallions ain't got time 4 that

 

[Plums]

So met this girl about a month ago. Went on four dates. Everything was awesome. Sex, she made me dinner, u name it. After our last date we texted eachother saying we are looking forward to seeing eachother and hanging out again. After that we even sexted eachother for a day. Then I tried hanging with her and she never got back to me. Happened twice. Then there were days between when we were talking and she didn't hit me up anymore. I eventually texted her and said if she wasn't interested no big deal she could of just let me know (which I believe was a mistake). She said she's been busy (even tho i see her doing **** on her snap chat ) so I told her it was disrespectful to deliberately blow off my calls (which I think was also a mistake). Then we didn't talk for about 10 days. I texted her while drunk and told her this place I saw reminded me of her. She was enthusiastic about me texting her - responded in like 2 seconds but didn't ask how I was or anything. I texted her some dumb **** and told her I was going to send her male strippers after her upcoming surgery(as a joke). Then the convo stopped. So basically I just get delayed 2-4 word answers if I text her after that. I backed off and never hit her up after the surgery. It's been like 2 weeks. Miss her for sure and want to do things right. Waiting her to get to me though. I think she may have been seeing someone else...

Not sure if I should still withhold contact . Thoughts?

It's good to be honest. It doesn't hurt to be upfront with people. Men are usually the hunters so its expected that you will be ardent to a point. And it can be very flattering for a woman to feel pursued. In fact some women will not respond at all to a man if she does not feel wanted by him. However, it is good to know when to leave it be as well and not waste your efforts. I think two or three uninvited approaches are enough. Then leave the ball in her court.

 

[Johnsmith8899]

You messed up by losing frame. You showed impatience, frustration, etc.

At the first point that she didnt get back to you, the correct move would have been to just go silent for a few days. After a week you could have shot her a "Hey" message just to ping her interest.

When she said she has been busy, you should have responded with "Yeah me too. Hit me up when you get free and want to hang out again" and left it at that. Really at that point if she doesnt reach out, there is another iron in the fire on her end.

Never text dumb sh!t. Texting, for the most part, should be to the point. A little flirting and setting up the date.

You should have been more cool and aloof. She knows that you were invested in this much more than she was and this is what happens when she was your only option. You're now butthurt over her, whereas if you had 2-3 more options during the time you were hanging out with her, you wouldnt have been so quick to lose your cool because you could have just shifted your attention to another chick that you were banging/hanging out with.

Since its been 2 weeks you can send her a text and say "Hey____, just checking up to see how you're doing after the surgery".

If she responds, let her answer dictate your convo with her. If she just gives you a quick "It went well thanks for asking", just say "great to hear" and move on.

Women nowadays are always looking for the next better option. Once you show them frustration and that you lost composure, it is extremely difficult to get them back on the hook. The only way is to walk away, go find new chicks and maybe they will throw their name back in the hat when they see you are playing the field.

Ya I never hit her up nor has she hit me up. I could def turn it around in person but we have no contact between us so whatever I'm just spinning more plates. We're not on social media anymore as friends nor do we have mutual friends. So not sure how she can see me playing the field... I guess just my inaction will send that message?