Advice on this relationship

[CoolRunning]

She=29, me=27. We have been dating for 3 months, roughly. We have never discussed the relationship, other than on day3 when I told her I wasn't looking for anything serious or committed. I have literally not brought the relationship up at all, nor has she (but she is kind of quiet). We see each other maybe 1x every week or two, and always ****. I've been on a total of, oh, I'd say 5 dates with her in 3 months. The day2, the day3, the day4, dinner once, and mini-golf once. All the other times, she calls me (I rarely call her), I invite her to "hang out" and we end up maybe getting some carry out and ****ing like rabbits.

Now, she is my first. I have not told her that, but she was my first **** and my first relationship. So this fact may explain my confusion and inability to know what to do here.

I'm getting a little bored with her, and I want to meet other women. I have some prospects I'm planning day2s with, but I feel a little creepy/underhanded doing it, like I am cheating on this girl. Of course I am not, since we have never discussed exclusivity or ever referred to each other as bf/gf or anything like that. But it still feels like it.

To top if off, she invited me to her birthday party and I met a bunch of her friends who had all "heard so much about me" and were "eager to meet me". I was by far the highest value guy at the birthday party, by the way. Both in looks and personality. If that matters. Meeting her friends made me feel almost bad about the way I am treating her, i.e. just using her for sex. It felt weird that maybe she has talked to her friends about me as a boyfriend or somehting.

I am just so confused. I care about this girl, she is sweet and I have enjoyed her company. But I need to experience other women.

My plan is to continue seeing her a few times a month, never bring up the relationship, never go on dates, and try to feel good about ****ing other women.

Do you have any advice for me.

 

[Lucas718]

I think that saying nothing and letting her continue to believe you're her boyfriend is a pretty crappy thing to do. Either break up with her or be her boyfriend, but don't string her along. That's not cool.

 

[CoolRunning]

Well, that's part of what I'm wondering. We have been on 5 dates in 3 months. Never talked about "us" or the relationship (other than moaning how we have great chemistry in bed). From what I've written, do you think I am giving her the impression I am her boyfriend? If I am, you are right I should just break it off. But I don't think I am. I think I have acted as if we are simply having casual sex. What do you think?

 

[Lucas718]

It's the part about meeting her friends and them telling you they've heard so much about you. That's a clear indication that she thinks you're her boyfriend. She wouldn't be telling her friends all about some guy she's just casually fvcking every couple of weeks.

This is the kind of stuff that happens when you don't communicate. One thing I've learned is that you should never assume that she knows how you feel.

 

[CoolRunning]

OK I would love to listen to your advice, and I appreciate your replies, but I just saw your other thread and you know jack all about this stuff. Anyone else?

 

[Lucas718]

Believe what you want then. Good luck.

 

[Phyzzle]

From what I've written, do you think I am giving her the impression I am her boyfriend?

No. Not at all. And it's the woman's job to bring up, and escalate, a relationship.

Has any guy on this board ever been dumped because he didn't verbally bring up the words "relationship" or "girlfriend" soon enough? Didn't think so.

Meeting her friends made me feel almost bad about the way I am treating her, i.e. just using her for sex.

Dude, SHE'S USING YOU for sex. Women do that a lot, you know. Despite what you may have heard.

And chicks talk about everything. You are not her boyfriend until she brings it up.

Of course, don't hit on her close friends or on any chick when she's standing right there. That would just be obnoxious.

 

[Hitman10000]

OK I would love to listen to your advice, and I appreciate your replies, but I just saw your other thread and you know jack all about this stuff. Anyone else?

Anyone else eh? Alright, Here's some winner advice from another Doc Love motherf*cker: Get a life.

 

[Phyzzle]

If curiosity is killing you, this is the best way I can think of, is to mention another girl that you're jogging with or, I dunno, fishing with, and test her reaction closely. Even that's pretty tasteless, bringing up other women expicitely. I wouldn't do it.

Dude this chick's 29, she knows how to ask you for monogamy, when and if she wants.

 

[CoolRunning]

Anyone else eh? Alright, Here's some winner advice from another Doc Love motherf*cker: Get a life.

What the hell prompted that? The guy posted a thread about getting phone #'s but not calling them. Not the kind of experience I'd want from someone from whom I'm going to take relationship advice.

Phyzzle, thanks.

 

[Phyzzle]

Anyone else eh? Alright, Here's some winner advice from another Doc Love motherf*cker: Get a life.

Eh?

EDIT: (another thread)

Starting today, Hitman10000 will give stupid advice to stupid questions that could be answered by using the holy search function on the webboard.

I SEEEEEEE!!!!

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Let me ask you this, how many kids does she have?

 

[NewMan]

Yeah - the more I think of it, my inclination is to say she's got kids.

Whatever - if she has, better be wearing a rubber.

Now, onto your question.

If I were you, I'd continue doing what your doing. Your not twisting her arm to fvck - in fact, it seems like she's using you just as much as your using her.

There's no need to bring up the relationship - she's old enough to look after herself. You laid down the law when you frist meet her (not looking for anything serious) - what's more to say.

don't be guilted into thinking your doing something wrong - your not.

Just make sure your wearing a jimmy.

 

[wayword]

You mean a 27 y.o. virgin was the Highest Value guy at the party?

My thoughts exactly. I'm guessing she must be like an HB4 with kids?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Stop calling it a relationship when it isn't, it takes two people and you are obviously not in it (and you told her that in the beginning). You're buds, friends with benefits, whatever. Go do your thing and don't let any misrepresented guilt make you tell her that you are seeing other women (unless you care for her as more than just a friend).

I don't get it guys, women typically go out with more than one guy at a type to look for the BBD. What makes some of us so afraid to do the same? As long as when you are sarging you don't imply that the relationship is anything more than what it is, there shouldn't be any problems. And if by chance there is, aren't you glad that you have some other prospects in the pipeline?

 

[CoolRunning]

Hmm, seems like you guys [who actually replied] are all on the same page here. Thanks. Never thought about it that she's using me just as much as I'm using her.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

How many kids COOL?

 

[speed dawg]

No doubt in my mind that this "quiet" chick would think nothing of jumping on another c0ck if a better one came available. Grab your sack, son. You give these beyatches too much leeway to fukk with your mind.

 

[decades]

>>I was by far the highest value guy at the birthday party, by the way. Both in looks and personality. If that matters. <<

this troubles me. you say you were a 27yo virgin and no friends...and then THIS. I think you've been spending too much time on being a PUA and learning PUAspeak. You are only 27 and still not too late to learn that you are no more "valuable" than any other man or any other person. I suggest you drop the PUAspeak and continue to make progress on being the best human being you can be. You'll find that this won't include entering rooms and immediately trying to determine who has "more" value.


regards

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

PERSISTENT, it's not a weakness to take assessment of social situations and "size up" a group of people. We all do this subconsciously anyway, whether we recognize it, or admit it - it's a psycho-biological function to make comparissons . COOL's fault lies in his assuming he's got a complete understanding of social value while being a 27y.o. virgin, not the fact that he did make the estimation in the first place. It's nice to play the touchy-feely humanistic side of things, but the harsh truth is if you can't figure out who the sucker is at the table within the first five minutes, you're the sucker.

Now then,..

HOW MANY KIDS COOL?