Advice on talking about beliefs..?

[Jin]

Ok.. small question and opinions sought on this one...

ok.. there is this girl that I work with that I have hooked up with in the past and broke it off and now I think, doesn't like me as I didn't choose her... and whatnot.. kinda irrelevent but it sparks sometimes a little bickering here and there... and usually I'm ok and calm about, letting it fall off my shoulder... but one time we were in the car and I was driving and she was being a backseat driver telling me how to drive and all this crap... so I say

"Why don't you shut the f up and let me drive?"

to which her response was...

"If you ever talk to me like that again I'll smack you..."

and I reply in kind...

me- "that would be a very bad idea..."


her- "what? you would hit me back?"

me- "do you want to find out...?"

so anyway... at that time a friend jumped in and nothing happened, but it set the precedence that now I hit women...

and I will say this now... I do not hit women.... I hit b*tches who initiate violence upon me first... and I agree that I could have used kinder words looking back but thats what came out as i was really pissed.... (hey! look at that! I"m human after all!!)

and so a week later (tonight in fact, which is why I'm asking...) her sister is over and were all around the table talking, shooting the sh*t... and I forget how but someone brings up the statement "Jin hits girls...." to which every girl and guy gasp and look at me in shock and disbelief... so I try to clarify... " No, I don't hit girls, I defend myself from anyone initiating violence upon me.. wether it be guy or girl..."

and of course like all retarded AFCs with no understanding of any kind of combat side with the girls and say "You shouldnt hit girls no matter what...." or even more ludicrous " only if your life is threatned.." and I was like....

" So I can only defend myself or fight back when my life is in mortal danger..?"

so she was like "You know you shouldn't tell people that...blah..blah..blah... "

so here is where I have a dilema... and opinions are sought...

is it ok to tell women and people in general your beliefs..? not only about striking women but on other stuff as well..??

I know that unless somone asks specificly about what you believe then you just don't bring it up... that part I understand... but what if it does come up..? do you try to avoid it or do you tell them..? what if it conflicts with widespread belief...? like hitting women..?

like I said before, I don't mind sharing my beliefs, but when people ask me and I tell them and its not with the majority or "popularly" held belief... what do you do...? I stand by what I believe in but what if it shocks alot of people close to you..? what then... ???

I know I know... delicate issue but one with which I have alot of trouble with sometimes...

I look forward to your responses...

Best,

Jin

 

[rgeere]

If a woman attacks you then you should press assault charges against her. Other than that don't let the fact that she is female stop you, but just remember that there re always consequences to your actions, just some are more severe than others.

 

[California Love]

The way you approach the problem is important.


First, always use the word "I". If she tells you how to drive, say something along the lines of "I feel uncomfortable with someone directing me when I drive. Could you give me a little trust and make comments during more opportune moments?"

Tell your partner how you feel and allow her to contribute her opinions so that she will feel that her input is also considered.


With groups, take things even slower. If you happen to offend anyone, they will usually draw up a wall of verbal fire in defense to their opinions.

 

[Jin]

but thats the problem.... shes not my "partner" anymore... we were hooking up and because she was on my team and were not even supposed to hook up, I chose to break it off.... and so now she resents me for it... (yeah... go figure heh?) and she picks little fights here and there... not physicaly mind you but just verbal critisism and such....

and if a woman attcked me I would put her down real fast... I'm not talking about a chick slapping me and I deck her and break her nose...no... I know enough about wrist locks and joint manipulation to put an end to most female "confrontations"

but if I got a chick whose throwing balled fists in an angry rage... oh yeah.. I will respond with enough violence to end it very quickly and enought to let her know that continuing to assulte me is not in her best intrests or well being....

and the only time I would press charges on a girl is if she harmed me in any big way... with like.... a crobar... which would be the only instance I could not handle a female... I mean come on...lets face it... if an average female beat the sh*t out of you.... you need to go to the gym or learn how to box.....at least.... ;-)~

and back to the topic at hand... I totaly agree with you Cali Love... but I have trouble approaching the problem if she will not talk to me in a civilised manner.... everytime I try to bring it up and I say "I feel this was like so and so..." she responds with "No, this is how it was and your wrong..."

anyway.. thanks for the replies guys.. I would like more input from others as well...

Best,

Jin

 

[MackJr]

Originally posted by California Love
The way you approach the problem is important.


First, always use the word "I". If she tells you how to drive, say something along the lines of "I feel uncomfortable with someone directing me when I drive. Could you give me a little trust and make comments during more opportune moments?"

Tell your partner how you feel and allow her to contribute her opinions so that she will feel that her input is also considered.


With groups, take things even slower. If you happen to offend anyone, they will usually draw up a wall of verbal fire in defense to their opinions.

The stuff above is that John Gray sensitive man bull****.

Look, you should dump the chick anyway. She's a pathological liar and a gossip as well. She obviously has no emotional control. As for defending yourself, don't deny by referring to yourself. If you say, "I don't hit girls," people will automatically assume you're lying. Turn it around so that she's defending herself
Say, "So is it your habit to tell bold-faced lies in public?" Say this without getting emotional. If she counters, keep turning the discussion back on her, until she gets frustrated and runs out in a tizzy.

You'll have won.

 

[MackJr]

One more thing, if you're going to put out controversial beliefs, be prepared to dominate the conversation. The sheep will give in eventually, becuase they don't think for themselves. But if you meekishly give a non-majority opinion, then it won't work for you.

 

[AFK Protector]

As for arguments/debates involving beliefs....

First of all, people piss me off when they start talking about sh1t like how Republicans suck and all, when they don't know jacksh1t. So I fvck them up with some cold hard facts. Makes them look real stupid. I fvcking hate them...argh...

Anyways...back on topic. Don't give in. Even if you realize you're wrong, just stick with what you said initially and twist it a little and add a little here and there so it looks good. Then if they said, "hey...you change it!! You didn't say that before"

you just say, "no man, you never asked."

Damn I hate those people man.

EDIT: oh yeah, almost left this out. Mack Jr is right.

EDIT: goddam, I forgot another thing. Cal Love, I see where you're coming from, and it truely is the ideal way to make a logical argument and keep things under control. HOWEVER, women are NOT logical and you can't control their thought processes. Therefore, you need to whip out the old I'm the fvcking man attitude and lay down the law. I mean...she's trying to act like a fvcking wonder woman or something there. Seriously...drop her gossipy ass. Even if she was right....she shouldn't bring this crap out in public. She wants you back, and is an attention wh0re cuz she's starting stuff you see? Drop her down man....back in the fvcking gutter.

Sorry about the swearing. I'm kind of pissed off...

Damn I hate those people.