"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Advice on how to smell the roses without losing momentum

SargeMaximus

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Hey guys, life advice wanted here. I noticed that I’m always looking to my horizons and the next and next and next thing, but lately I realized I pretty much “lost” the last decade because I was so busy working on game or my transition into sales that I don’t have many memories to show for it. It’s all a jumbled haze kind of. I feel I did myself and people around me a disservice.

Any tips on how to live in the journey without becoming a degenerate? I still wanna work towards my goals and stuff but it feels like I can only do one or the other, not both
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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corrector

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This is interesting. The whole point is to create memories. I had an elaborate memory maze the last decade where I visited places associated with memories of past experiences to relive the moment. You are complaing you dont have that? Perhaps too much abundance leads to meaninglessness and spoilage then and a certain level of scarcity is needed to provide meaning so you are forced to appreciate moments more and let them linger in the mind.
 

SargeMaximus

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There is nothing degenerate about being present in the here and now. It's essential, IMO, to living your best and most effective life AND for planning for the future.

I know it's cliche, but have you read The Power of Now by Eckhardt Tolle? It's an easy read and focuses on this very subject.

Essentially I incorporate meditation and simply being mindful of what I'm doing in this very moment. (What I'm doing can be planning for success - see?) The key is not to worry about the future or live obsessively in the past. Anyway I recommend the book, it helped me with that.
Dude, I’m the guy who is always recommending the power of now. I’m permanently in touch with my inner core. But I think it has more to do with people
 

Serenity

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Plan breaks and how long they should be beforehand. Let's say you take a week to do what you want without trying to incessantly calculate what you will gain from it. After that, do you think you'll have lost motivation to keep grinding whatever you're grinding? If you really want to keep grinding you'll probably have more motivation at the end of your break and more energy.

I never become too comfortable for too long when I "take time off", at some point I feel a restlessness from not working towards my goals and really want to put in the effort to do something constructive.

Don't deprive yourself of taking a break out of fear you'll grow complacent. If there are goals you really do want to reach a little break won't convince you to drop them, might even make it harder to take a break for as long as you decided beforehand.

It might feel safer to plan a break than to start one without a planned end date, so that's my advice to you. Personally I have always gotten a lot more progress from letting it rest for a little while than I would have if I kept butting my head against it. I have plenty of personal experiences telling me that taking breaks is absolutely worth it.

You don't magically stop wanting to reach your goals by taking a break, there's a difference between that and giving up on goals. You're not giving up, you're just applying a better strategy.
 
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