Advice on how to proceed

[Kbish828]

I started dating a girl two months ago. Her interest level was super high until I admitted that I lied to her about something on our first date. It was a pointless white lie (just drunk and nerves) and I wanted to let her know because she was going to find out anyways. She initially just laughed it off and we had a great time that night. But then the next time I saw her she was acting very cold towards and her interest level had plummeted. She later admitted she had been thinking about the and is worried she cannot trust me. She also apologized about treating me like s*** that night. This was a week ago, since we have had little communication. She texted me a couple times about nothing (there is still some interest I guess) and I have texted her once (probably should not have), but we are not really talking anymore.

Anyways, I really do not know how to proceed. Should I just ask her to dinner? If she says no, then I move on. Or should I just go NC and make her reach out to me? I like this girl and want to see if things can still work, I just don’t want to be a p**** about it.

I also have anxiety issues (just started medication for it) which causes me to over analyze everything and never feel adequate. This has really been a burden on me having a healthy relationship. I have no problem getting girls and hooking up, but my past 5 “relationships” have all been exactly two months, which is where I am with this girl. I have done a great job of not showing these insecurities to this girl though (thanks to help from reading these boards), and I am getting better with it. I know I am way over thinking this situation, and that’s why I need logical advice on how to proceed.

How should I proceed?

 

[TheCWord]

Confessions generally don't make girls wet. So for future ref, if a white lie or something is brought up then, sure, address it (and make it like it's no big deal). But there's no need to have to get that weight off your chest. There should be no weight. Just sends the wrong message.

As for current girl...

Should I just ask her to dinner? If she says no, then I move on.

I think that's the way to go. Don't initiate texts and don't initiate plans for a week. If she texts you, take your time with the replies and be brief. If she asks to make plans then go for it.

After a week, if she hasn't tried to make plans, go ahead and text something along the lines of, "I want to check out [this new bar/restaurant]. Which nights work for you this week?"

If it's anything other than her listing her available nights this week, or some sort of counter offer, then next her.

I get what you're saying about the overthinking sabotaging your relationships. Do you have a lot going on in your life right now besides the girl? Whenever I find myself overthinking it's usually because I'm not taking care of myself enough (pursuing my passions, doing things that make me happy, etc.)

 

[Kbish828]

I didn't feel any burden on having to confess. It was just something she would have eventually found out anyways, so I felt like I had to tell her

 

[GotED?]

Next time wait until after you are in a relationship then fess' up (shouldn't have to 'hide' anything - if you don't volunteer information then it really isn't a lie until later when it is more serious in building a LTR - most sh!t dates die out in the first 3 months anyways)

This is very poor game played out - during the critical stage 1/2/3rd date you are trying to build rapport with the woman.

Any scent of negative character from who you are is going to be amplified and used against you in a court of hamster-brained law.

Exodus