Advice on exchanging stuff with ex

[Zippapants]

Alright guys, you know how the story goes: I loved this chick, she broke up with me, I was hurt but knew this had to happen. The whole thing can be found here. However, that isn't the problem.

I already contacted her a few days ago asking about exchanging our stuff. She said okay and that she would let me know when she had free time. Now, I know her. Her idea of free time is when she can't find anything to do with anyone else at the immediate moment and is bored. Hell, I'm talking about a girl who FORGOT she was supposed to see me (when we were together) on a day when she said earlier that she would - TWICE.

Before, I had a sneaking suspicion that she was talking to someone, but now I pretty much know she is (heard it through the grapevine). Obviously, this will have knocked me down lower on her priorities ladder than I was before.

So what do I do? I have her stuff and she has mine. I already broke no contact once by telling her I wanted to swap things a few days back. While I'm still healing from the break-up, I've been spinning plates and now I'm feeling better, although not fully. I have no thoughts of getting back with her, although I wouldn't mind being friendly since i have to work with her for the next school year.

Should I hit her up and be like, "Let's just exchange stuff [insert day here] after you get off work at night"? Or should I not break no contact again and just ride it out? The latest I'll see her is in September, so I could just man up and wait until then if it comes to it. I just don't like the thought of her using my stuff with another guy, nor do I like holding on to her things. It almost feels like I'm holding on to a piece of our relationship. At the same time, I don't really want to break no contact again. Any advice on this conundrum?

 

[jay07]

Do you really need this stuff back? Ainy worth your sanity trust me. The minute you see her and she walks away like you didnt mean sh*t to her your gonna walk away punching things and when you get home youre gonna be in a crappy mood.

Unless its super valuable crap, let it go. And stop responding to her. Every day you go w.o. talkin to her you feel better.

Sounds to me like you want an excuse to see her hoping when she sees you shell break down and tell you how much she misses you. Guess what, thats not gonna happen.

 

[Zippapants]

Some of it isn't, some of it is. For instance, she has my super-nice Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hoodie that I lent her one day when it was raining. My three best friends and I all own one (we each have a different character, mine's Michelangelo) and a lot of times when we all go out as a group we'll wear them. It always leads to fun times. She also has a few small things that my parents got me.

Things like my shirts that she has I don't really care about, but it's the stuff with sentimental value that goes beyond her that I want back.

 

[jay07]

Tell her to put it in a box and leave it on her porch and youll pick it up when you have time.

But seriously if youre using this as an excuse to see her youre playing with fire.

I did the same exact thing you did, asked for stupid little things back from her. She came up to my work to hand it back to me, i smiled and we chatted for a few and she got in her car and drove away, and the only thing i could think about was why the hell she looked fine, happy, not caring. It ate at me for days. DONT DO IT.

 

[Zippapants]

Nah, this isn't an excuse to see her. I realized I could do better and that the relationship was sh!tty, especially since she was 19 (20 soon, still has to grow the fvck up). I can't trust her to not do this again, so there's no going back. She lives an hour away and her brother's a thief, so that's the main reason why I wanted to set this up as opposed to just stopping by. The only reason I said I'd be friendly with her is because we'll be working together (like one-on-one stuff) in September, not because I'm hoping for something to happen. She's the one who told me that something could happen when we get back to school. I told her good luck with that.

When we talked right after she broke it off, I wanted to exchange our stuff immediately, but she said she needed more time. Not even 2 weeks later and she's already seeing someone else, so I have no doubt that she's "happy", but I'm sure this will crumble too as soon as she leaves for school and distance becomes an issue for her again. More importantly, I'm happy. I don't have that stress anymore, just that blahness of a recent break-up.

It's like I want to exchange our stuff, but I don't want to talk to her because I still need to heal completely, but I feel like this pending exchange is kinda holding me back, especially since I have things she needs for when she moves back to college.