Advice on conversation...

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

I don't have a problem starting a conversation with people. Nor do I have approach anxiety. I'm not saying I have a problem conversating with women. But, it seems when I'm hanging out with people I know in general. I don't have a lot to say sometimes. Or I have trouble getting into the conversation. I would say I'm more of a listener than, a talker.

An example could be.. When I'm with a group of people and we are all hanging out and having fun. I tend to just kinda sit back and listen and get in on some topics. I'd like to make myself more of the center of attention or one with the group when conversating.

I think my problem is that; I'm not in the right mind set, I'm shy, or I just think too much...

Anyone else in the same boat or have advice for me?

 

[Huffman]

Think of a few conversation starters, memorize them.

Then, afterwards, stop thinking.
Just let it flow. You are not expected, nor required to chit-chat with the same girl all night.

Don't make up stress for yourself.
If she's not very responsible, she's frigid while you're the guy who actually approached her. It's her to blame, not you.

Finally, be curious. You gotta hold some interest in your conversation partner.

As for a mindset: Be relaxed. Stop analyzing. Realize that nothing really DEPENDS on the quality of your conversation. You missed an opportunity in the conversation? Nobody's perfect. Don't care about it so much. Don't think about it so much.

 

[Obsidian]

if there's a conversation lull, a lot of the time I'll just announce my (generally unusual) opinion on something mildly related to what we were talking about earlier. Like "Yeah, I don't really believe in Valentine's Day," or whatever.