dk1990S111
Master Don Juan
Got a lot of good advice from everyone on the last thread. Need outside opinions on this situation.
As I mentioned in the last thread, I have a 2.5 year old daughter. Her mom is diagnosed with bipolar but that isn’t what it actually is. I’m not a doctor but we went to a retired psychologist that wrote a best selling book and she could see the signs, my opinion and her ex husband came to the same conclusion independently of eachother, she has narcissistic personality disorder and/or I believe borderline personality disorder. Mentally very unstable, had a horrible childhood which is why she is the way she is.
We split up for the second time beginning of June. She is with a dude now that she’s already planning on moving in with and marrying and all that. Great except she wants to move my daughter and hour away from me.
My lawyer kinda taught me for my benefit to check public records on potential partners for me. So look into this guy, shows he’s been married twice now at 33. Most recent marriage there is no public record of an annulment or separation or anything. Weird. So seeing the name on the marriage license I look her up. Fb she still has their wedding pictures as her profile picture and all that. They just got married in November 2024. Big alarm to me that something isn’t right when 6 months later he’s “divorced”. Knew I couldn’t just message her because who knows what the situation is. Google and was able to find the first wife’s phone number luckily. After really thinking about it, decided it’s in my daughter’s best interest to find out wtf is going on with this guy. Need to know if I need to protect her.
First wife goes into how he’s extremely abusive, physically included. They have 2 sons. The older 9 year old has anxiety because of how his dad is. Says she was never allowed to have contact with the second wife, so didn’t even have her phone number. Told me that as far as she knew he was very controlling of the second wife and controlled her phone and Facebook.
I finally got ahold of the second wife’s mom on FB, told her I just needed to ask her daughter some things about if my daughter will be safe around this guy. She says she’ll have her daughter call me later that day, and “I’m just so happy to have my daughter back”. On the phone with the second wife she confirmed that he was physically abusive with her, pinning her against the wall by the throat and yelling at her was just one example. Controlled her phone, she couldn’t have her own iCloud, Facebook was controlled. Confirmed a lot of what the first wife said.
So the big problem is, with my baby’s mom having the disorder she has, she will not hear anything I say if I brought this up. Instant defensiveness because she has basically made him a part of herself mentally. Normal borderline behavior. Reasoning with her isn’t possible.
I cannot talk to her parents since they completely enable her and won’t ever face reality. Her mom is the same as her and the step dad is compliant. Her sister is the only one that might care enough to get her away from this guy. Sister hates me though because of all the false stories my ex created in her false reality.
I’ve thought about going and just filling in the sister. Any other way to go about this? I don’t want my daughter an hour from me witnessing domestic violence crap.
Attorney today told me to basically just wait it out and when it happens then go for full custody. Just hard to morally feel right about letting it just happen.
Thoughts?
As I mentioned in the last thread, I have a 2.5 year old daughter. Her mom is diagnosed with bipolar but that isn’t what it actually is. I’m not a doctor but we went to a retired psychologist that wrote a best selling book and she could see the signs, my opinion and her ex husband came to the same conclusion independently of eachother, she has narcissistic personality disorder and/or I believe borderline personality disorder. Mentally very unstable, had a horrible childhood which is why she is the way she is.
We split up for the second time beginning of June. She is with a dude now that she’s already planning on moving in with and marrying and all that. Great except she wants to move my daughter and hour away from me.
My lawyer kinda taught me for my benefit to check public records on potential partners for me. So look into this guy, shows he’s been married twice now at 33. Most recent marriage there is no public record of an annulment or separation or anything. Weird. So seeing the name on the marriage license I look her up. Fb she still has their wedding pictures as her profile picture and all that. They just got married in November 2024. Big alarm to me that something isn’t right when 6 months later he’s “divorced”. Knew I couldn’t just message her because who knows what the situation is. Google and was able to find the first wife’s phone number luckily. After really thinking about it, decided it’s in my daughter’s best interest to find out wtf is going on with this guy. Need to know if I need to protect her.
First wife goes into how he’s extremely abusive, physically included. They have 2 sons. The older 9 year old has anxiety because of how his dad is. Says she was never allowed to have contact with the second wife, so didn’t even have her phone number. Told me that as far as she knew he was very controlling of the second wife and controlled her phone and Facebook.
I finally got ahold of the second wife’s mom on FB, told her I just needed to ask her daughter some things about if my daughter will be safe around this guy. She says she’ll have her daughter call me later that day, and “I’m just so happy to have my daughter back”. On the phone with the second wife she confirmed that he was physically abusive with her, pinning her against the wall by the throat and yelling at her was just one example. Controlled her phone, she couldn’t have her own iCloud, Facebook was controlled. Confirmed a lot of what the first wife said.
So the big problem is, with my baby’s mom having the disorder she has, she will not hear anything I say if I brought this up. Instant defensiveness because she has basically made him a part of herself mentally. Normal borderline behavior. Reasoning with her isn’t possible.
I cannot talk to her parents since they completely enable her and won’t ever face reality. Her mom is the same as her and the step dad is compliant. Her sister is the only one that might care enough to get her away from this guy. Sister hates me though because of all the false stories my ex created in her false reality.
I’ve thought about going and just filling in the sister. Any other way to go about this? I don’t want my daughter an hour from me witnessing domestic violence crap.
Attorney today told me to basically just wait it out and when it happens then go for full custody. Just hard to morally feel right about letting it just happen.
Thoughts?