I'll go first:
1. If you are not in college anymore, then ****ing actually ask a woman out.
Know how when you say, "What are you up to? How are you?" Yeah, stop that ****.
What, are you afraid of getting rejected? Get over that, dude. Go for it. #YOLO, right? Seriously. Life's way too short. Women are going bankrupt on their mother****ing Brazilian waxes for you mother****ers, so pony up some courage and ask us to dinner already. If you don't have money, then make it a romantic dinner at your place. Or something. Also, the first three dates, pay. Even if she does the reach-for-the-wallet fake-out. Serious.
Seems legit to me. As for paying, I prefer to pay for the first date (or maybe for drinks at the first place we go to), and then let the girl pay for the next. If she doesn't even offer to pay the second time out, that's a red flag.
2. Here's the magic formula to ask a woman out.
Do a firm, decisive ask. Not, "We should get a drink sometime." If you are a guy who makes a woman ask you out, there's something ****ing wrong with you. Love and light and all, but that often means you have serious commitment and decision-making issues. If a commitment to a single time and date and location for dinner is too much to handle? Oh, boy.
I also get turned off by the request for just drinks. Like, dude. Invest $100. If you actually like her, ****ing do it. So here's how:
"Hey [Woman], I'd love to take you to dinner on [Specific Date and Time Next Week] at [Specific Nice Restaurant Where You Will Then Make a Reservation]. Does that work for you?" Specific. This is a major panty-peeler.
Confidence. Knowing who you are. Being able to ask a woman to dinner. THIS IS HOT. Shows you are going places! You know yourself! You are a man of action! You are getting **** done! You are your highest self! Hooray for YOU, dude! If she says no? Whatever. On to the next one, you know?
Again, seems good to me. Except I don't do dinner for a first date. But if you replace "dinner" with "drinks", it seems good to me.
3. If you really want to impress her, then do something small and thoughtful -- and it doesn't have to cost a thing.
Know what makes women go crazy? Thoughtfulness. Showing you are thinking of her. That you invested a little time thinking about her. That you anticipated and thought about what she might like. Buy her an iTunes single that made you think of her. Take a picture of her and then develop it and give it to her next time you see her. Give her a beautiful stationery pad if she's a writer. Thoughtful. Small. Women. Love. This. ****.
Absolutely not. Bad idea, until you're actually in a relationship with a girl. Doing this after the first date just shows you're needy/desperate.
4. Ask about her.
Ask her what she's thinking. Don't be a faker. Really be interested. Engage. Don't make it all about you. Show your value. Show how you are a value-add to her life. If you see her as a value-add, then put your best foot forward. Don't call it in. And also: Oh, baby, be in the moment. Have fun. Wheeeeee, right?
Seems to go along with the principle of letting the woman do most of the talking on dates, and not revealing too much about oneself?
5. If you get to the point of physical contact where that is appropriate, the most erotic things of all are often hardly even sexual at all.
I swear to God. Do you know how many years I've spent thinking about a light touch on my back? Or a stroke on my cheek? Or a finger on my mouth? Read the "indicators of interest," as old "Game"-boy Neil Strauss calls them, and use your gut. Be able to tell if a chick is into you. If she's cold and her body language indicates she is not into you at all, then don't do the touching bull****. But test it out. Touch her arm. Stroke her hand. Ask if that is what is indicated.
Um, I'm not sure what the advice is here, but this seems reasonable.
6. One of my favorite moves?
A man interlocking his arm in my mine and walking down the street that way. All gallant and chivalrous-like.
Field-tested by RooshV at least. I've always found it pretty awkward, but if you can make it work, it's a good way to kino.
7. Just ask, if you need to.
Just say it. Nothing is that scary. Just say, "Can I kiss you?" Then when you go in for the kiss, be slow and teasing. Not like a darting gnarly tongue monster. Confident. Teasing.
If you have to ask, I prefer the "Would you like me to kiss you?" angle. Better still: sense that the moment is right, and just do it.
8. Teasing.
Can I say that one more time? That is one of my favorite things in the world. There's something about the erotic push-and-pull that is an incredibly heightened connection. Power dynamics and control are inherently erotic, so indications and offerings of small actions to create elaborate fantasy in a woman's mind is incredibly powerful.
Seems reasonable.
9. Kiss the neck.
Oh, God, do I love getting my neck kissed. And then my chest. And my whole body.
Seems reasonable.
10. Women love to feel desired.
I'm a narcissist. But I think we all have elements of this, yes? To feel like a man can't get enough of you is such a turn-on. But in a confident, non-needy way.
Seems reasonable.
11. As my friend Sam Lansky says, "The best relationships are when you both think you're dating up."
So, yeah, I'm a fan of playing within my league. I'm not a 21-year-old supermodel. I so get it. I have the most fun with someone who I'm very attracted to but who is attainable, especially when he feels the same way about me. Unless it's, like, Brad Pitt at that exact moment in the '90s when he's doing the little cowboy dance for Geena Davis, I'd rather not waste my time with someone who feels like they're doing me a favor.
I'd employ the same thing with women. If she's a super ice queen who's having none of it, you know, on to the next one, dude. Find someone who's feeling it.
Seems reasonable.
12. If there is the possibility of love, oh my God that is crack.
I've identified this as the No. 1 thing that turns me on about sex. Emotion-free sex is pretty meh to me. Fun and porny may be physically satisfying, but yeah, how great is it to date and have sex with someone who you love and care about? That's what I'm seeking. It'll happen. But as I realized with my friend last night, "I think I need to have that sense of hope even if there isn't a man to pin it on. Just have a sense of knowing." He got it. I did, too.
I don't know what the advice is here, besides that you shouldn't explicitly tell a girl she's a one-night-stand-only, or a ****-buddy-only.
13. If she says she likes things, do them.
For some reason, I get very turned on by the idea of subjugation and also the indication that I might be giving head while I'm playing with myself. So, I told my dude last night to kind of play with his finger on my mouth, teasing me as I fingered myself to orgasm. I had to tell him this several times. This is a no-no. Get it. If she likes it, do more of it. Integrate it.
Seems reasonable.
14. I'm also a total cliche of a daddy-issues girl, so I like saying, "I'm a good girl," and, "I'll do a good job for you," and all that stupid bull****.
Unless it totally skeeves you out, then engage in whatever her perversion is with her. Be a ****ing champ. Be a sport. Have fun. It's sex. Yay.
Seems reasonable.
15. I'm also a huge fan of romantic sex.
Doesn't have to be dirty and kinky and perverse and role-play-oriented. Be ****ing romantic. Tell her why you like her piercing eyes. Say if you think about her. Do it up, baby.
Hmm. In bed, it seems like it's better to avoid issuing any compliments. I prefer to just get on with business -- if I'm kissing her, and have a raging hard-on against her thigh, I think it's pretty clear that she turns me on -- I don't need to tell her "You really turn me on."
16. Learn how to a finger a *****, would you?
So many men do not know how to do this. Take a course at OneTaste. Watch some porn. Google it. Have a woman show you.
Seems reasonable.
17. Confidence is everything.
I like to be pinned down and feel the force and power of a man. That's obviously with a partner that I trust and like and have indicated I want him to do this by telling him this. Ask her what she likes. Ask if she likes to be spanked. Ask if she'd like to be blindfolded. Maybe not over first drinks, but you never know. Women are some horny *****es. They're reading and re-reading "50 Shades." Sex is such a fun playground.
If SoSuave could be summed up in a three-word slogan, "Confidence is everything" would be a good candidate.
18. Talk to her.
Ask her what it turns her on to hear you say. If you are nervous or uncomfortable then just say what you are doing. If it's dirtier sex, then maybe, "Do you like sucking my ****?" If it's more romantic, maybe, "You feel so good; I just want to be inside you forever." Whatever. Women are such mental creatures. Much less visual. We like to be mind****ed. Or I do. Not all women. Me, and several friends I have. How's that.
Seems reasonable.
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So, in summary, most of the advice seems pretty unobjectionable to me. What do y'all think?
This girl is giving all this sappy relationship advice after she has had sex with all the alphas in her 20s. Now she wants a sensitive beta to do things on her terms and brainwash guys who don't know what they are doing. "I'm so interesting and sexy and special and an independent woman, be genuinely interested in me."