ADVICE next steps with a new girl

[eyedogg]

Gentleman,

Your assistance is needed for this situation that is new to me. Here it is:

I'm online most of the day and I visit my local Craigs List often. This past Friday I see a post in the "strictly platonic" section from a WFM (women for men) section of a girl who is also online at work and board, wants someone to chat with.

I hit her up on email - Hi, you still bored? , she replies back "yes" almost outt here and adds her myspace page. Her details, she is 22, just got divorced, and CUTE!

I leave her with one last email - have a great weekend. Hit me up if you are bored again sometime.

Today, she adds me to her instant message AIM. And hits me up. Now remember, I have not "met" anyone online before so my dialouge may be a bit off so any advice on that would also be great.

Oh, yeah - as you will read in the AIM, she REALLY DOES LOOK LIKE A YOUNG BRITTANY. I am talking the "I'm a Slave 4 U." look. Where she is skinny, hot, and sexy.

So my main request for advice is where to go from here - keep in mind, I did not ask for her ph # last Friday, however you can see at the end that she offered it. So where to go from here? (I prefer a small text saying "what up" - keep those to a low,low minimum) quick call, make plans for a date, - I know most of this stuff ...however, with her just being divorced, younger then me, etc. This is where I am seeking some good advice.

Here is the chat:

Me (1:56 PM): “HB”
Me (1:56 PM): You still around?
Her (1:56 PM): yup
Me(1:57 PM): Cool...
Me(1:57 PM): So let me ask you something..
Me (1:58 PM): Who do your friends say you look like?
Her (1:59 PM): ummm... haha.. sometimes Brittany Spears.. when she was cute. haha
Me(2:01 PM): Exactly what I was going to say...weird huh?
Her (2:02 PM): haha.
Her (2:02 PM): i get that a lot.
Her(2:02 PM): i think its weird.
Me(2:02 PM): Do you take it as compliment?
Her(2:08 PM): I guess I do..
Me(2:12 PM): Anyway, did you end up getting Sushi this weekend?
Her (2:13 PM): haha thank you then.
Her(2:13 PM): I did on Friday.
Me(2:20 PM): Cool...where did you go?
Her (2:20 PM): Sushi Place
Me(2:22 PM): Sushi place downtown yeah?
Her (2:22 PM): yup
Me(2:22 PM): Have you been to the one in Uptown?
Her(2:22 PM): I haven't.
Me(2:23 PM): Not missing much...downtown is better.
Her(2:23 PM): thats good to know
Me(2:24 PM): Ok..so have is this weird that you are chatting with some guy you met on craig's list?
Her(2:25 PM): hahaha.. umm.. kind of.
Me(2:25 PM): that's what I thought ...
Me(2:25 PM): Ok...so since you haven’t asked...I tell you about me
Me(2:25 PM): (you got my picture so that’s a start right
Her (2:26 PM): hahaha
Her (2:26 PM): sorry..
Her (2:26 PM): sometimes its hard to chat at work.
Her (2:26 PM): well, think of questions anyway.
Me(2:30 PM): All good..no worries
Me(2:35 PM): So my name is: Eyedogg...my friends call me "Eye". I live in “X-City and I work for an internet company, hence me being "online" and on my PC all day.
Her (2:36 PM): ah.. that makes sense.
Me(2:37 PM): If you were thinking I was some crazy online weirdo…LOL
Her (2:37 PM): you probably are
Her (2:37 PM): haha
Her (2:37 PM): Just teasing
Me (2:38 PM): You like to laugh a lot don’t you?
Her (2:38 PM): mmm hmm
Me(2:39 PM): Anyway, I think if I saw you in person, I would have thought the Brittany thing right off the top..
Me (2:39 PM): It's uncanny…
Her (2:41 PM): really? you think i look that much like her?
Me (2:44 PM): yeah
Her (2:45 PM): thats weird.
Me(2:48 PM): Kinda I guess...
Me(2:48 PM): Short and cute is good though…
Me(2:49 PM): So your myspace has you up in x county yeah...that's a little drive
Her (2:49 PM): i'm not in x county anymore ..im in new county
Me(2:50 PM): ah - for real..
Me (2:50 PM): that’s cool
Me(2:50 PM): so you x-spot a lot, near there
Her (2:53 PM): not a lot.. occasionally. mostly to eat or go to the movies.
Me (2:56 PM): Its fun in the summer
Her (2:56 PM): yeah it is. its pretty in the winter too
Me(2:56 PM): Aww...how cute...
Me(2:57 PM): It's all purrty huh?
Me(2:57 PM): LOL
Her (2:57 PM): mm hmmm
Me(2:57 PM): Did you smile when you said "purrty" in your head?
Her (2:58 PM): haha yes i did
Her (2:59 PM): Well, I'm gonna head home.. text me if you want.. 555-5555
Me(3:00 PM): Later “HB” - I'll hit you up
Her (3:01 PM): Cool

 

[amoka]

At 22 and divorce? It seems like you have an AW friend online. The last thing you want to do is to text this girl again. Wait couple of weeks and call her up if you want to take her out. Avoid texting her entirely.

 

[squirrels]

I'm online most of the day and I visit my local Craigs List often.

Problem 1. You're searching for women on Craigslist. Think about that for a second...on CRAIGSLIST!!

This past Friday I see a post in the "strictly platonic" section

Problem 2. She's made her intentions known by posting on the "strictly platonic" section. Think about that for a second...STRICTLY PLATONIC!!

I hit her up on email

Problem 3...you're hitting on girls over E-mail. Think about that for a second...OVER EMAIL!!

she is 22, just got divorced, and CUTE!

Problem 4....she is divorced at 22. Think about that for a second...DIVORCED!!! AT TWENTY-FVCKING-TWO!!

I leave her with one last email - have a great weekend. Hit me up if you are bored again sometime.

Problem 5...you're presenting yourself as someone who's hanging around waiting for her to have nothing better to do.

Me (1:58 PM): Who do your friends say you look like?
Her (1:59 PM): ummm... haha.. sometimes Brittany Spears.. when she was cute. haha
Me(2:01 PM): Exactly what I was going to say...weird huh?

Problem 6...OMFG...you're so unique...*yawn*. Not only are you kissing her ass for her looks, you're doing it in the most un-original way possible.

Me(2:22 PM): Have you been to the one in Uptown?
Her(2:22 PM): I haven't.
Me(2:23 PM): Not missing much...downtown is better.
Her(2:23 PM): thats good to know

Problem 7: Women love to be told about things that they don't care about missing out on.

Me(2:24 PM): Ok..so have is this weird that you are chatting with some guy you met on craig's list?
Her(2:25 PM): hahaha.. umm.. kind of.
Me(2:25 PM): that's what I thought ...

Problem 8: Why would you SUGGEST to her that she's UNCOMFORTABLE talking to you? What possible forward progress could this give you?? All it does is remind her that she's struggling, and you're struggling worse. You're not supposed to remind a girl that she's supposed to be afraid of you.

Me(2:25 PM): Ok...so since you haven’t asked...I tell you about me

Problem 9: Women love men who yammer on about themselves...*yawn*

Me(2:25 PM): (you got my picture so that’s a start right

Problem 10: Is that the best you can do? Pitch her your picture? Pictures don't tell SH!T. You'd better have firefighter-stripper abs if you're drawing attention to a picture.

Her (2:26 PM): well, think of questions anyway.
Me(2:30 PM): All good..no worries
Me(2:35 PM): So my name is: Eyedogg...my friends call me "Eye". I live in “X-City and I work for an internet company, hence me being "online" and on my PC all day.

Problem 11: She tells you, "think of questions"...and instead you go on yammering useless personal factoids about yourself. She wants you to qualify her, and you're trying to qualify TO her instead. Oh, and way to drop that bit about you being on the computer all day. Chicks dig that.

Me(2:37 PM): If you were thinking I was some crazy online weirdo…LOL
Her (2:37 PM): you probably are
Her (2:37 PM): haha
Her (2:37 PM): Just teasing

No she's not.

Me (2:38 PM): You like to laugh a lot don’t you?

Problem 12: "Oh hell no! Laughing pisses me off. I HATE to laugh. I prefer to sulk." What the hell are you getting at here? You certainly aren't impressing her with your sense of humor.

Me(2:39 PM): Anyway, I think if I saw you in person, I would have thought the Brittany thing right off the top..
Me (2:39 PM): It's uncanny…
Her (2:41 PM): really? you think i look that much like her?
Me (2:44 PM): yeah

Problem 13: Why don't you just come out with it..."You look like Britney Spears, so I want to f*ck you." Really, you don't have anything to lose at this point. You've pretty much showed NO interest in her except for this fact, and you CONTINUE to harp on it as if it's somehow charming her to point out that she looks like some generic pop-star, a fact that all her friends got over a long time ago.

Her (2:45 PM): thats weird.
Me(2:48 PM): Kinda I guess...

Problem 14: Women love such decisive language. Way to be a man.

Me (2:56 PM): Its fun in the summer
Her (2:56 PM): yeah it is. its pretty in the winter too
Me(2:56 PM): Aww...how cute...
Me(2:57 PM): It's all purrty huh?
Me(2:57 PM): LOL

Problem 15: You could've asked her about what it is in winter that she likes about it, since she's being merciful and at least throwing you something to continue the conversation instead of one-wording you into oblivion. Which is what any other chick would be doing at this point...you MUST have that firefighter-stripper 6-pack after all. But instead, you choose to yammer in baby-talk like a retard. I thought this was a "Mature Man" forum.

Me(2:57 PM): Did you smile when you said "purrty" in your head?

Problem 16: Nothing screams "insecurity" like asking a girl if she's enjoying what you're saying.

Her (2:58 PM): haha yes i did
Her (2:59 PM): Well, I'm gonna head home.. text me if you want.. 555-5555

She's a saint for staying in the convo THAT long. She must have a boring-ass job. Either that, or you look like Brad Pitt. Not sure which. Because you've done just about everything wrong that you possibly can and still copped a number. (Notice she said "text me", not "call me")

 

[Interceptor]

Eyedogg, you should really thank Squirrels for the time, patience, and the effort he took to give you the low down.

I certainly didn';t have the patience to do so.

BUt Squirrels is right on the money on all counts.

he's not here, nor am I, to bring you down,.

But, like true frnieds, we are NOT going to let you go out "looking like that!".
Dude, Squirrels is trying to spare you some grief.
Look over what he wrote, and internalize all aspects of the points he made.
There were some serioious gaffes you made. Now, perhaps you're just trying to find out the subtleties of conversation. But you 're starting off on the worng foot.
Basically you're justy some guy that she will talk to whenshe';s bored. That's what you offered.
You also layed on the Britney thig too thick, it came off creepy, dude.
You're also completely disregarding the PLATONIC part of the conversation, the whole purpose she's there is to bullsh*t with non sexual, platonic girly men.
Yes, this means YOU.
Be a man, and go to places inm ral life, and online where the Women are.
Not little girls.
Find the women who want Men, and put yourself in there.
Learn form your experiences, be they good or bad, painful or delightful.
Be step upto the plate and engage the women. Don't hide or justify your behavior as a rejection buffer. Don't use online as a crutch, only as a learning tool.
Talks to some women who are interested in you. Find out if they want you. And get together with them. Then engage them one on one , face to face.

It's true that you're still trying to figure out conversation, everyone is to an extent. But you need to know what not to do as well.
Read the Book of Pook again, read the DJ Bible again, get off the PC a littel more often, look for social stimualtion, rather than intellectual and "safe" interactons.
In doing so, do not come off as needy , or needing validation or acceptance. Go out and have fun. Leanr to be socila.
Look into some programs like Real Socail Dynamics, Carlos Xuma, Dr. Paul, David Deangelo, Swingcat, Zan Perrion to name a few.
The reasonyou're having these events that are uncomfortable is you're realizing that "talking to chicks": and "scoring chicks" is not your reality.
You have to go out there and MAKE IT YOUR REALITY.
You have to get over that hurdle of overanalyizng yourself and having themindset that YOU have to QUALIFY YourSELF to her.
that somehow, you're not good enough, so you have to pur it on thick to try to get her to like you.
All Bullsh*t.
Get away from that thinking.
Don't find Safety in those false "Comfort Zones'.
That's not how you grow. And that;s not how you will live life as a Man.
That's called an "existence". NOT "LIFE".

What kind of LIFE do YOU want, man???!
What is it that YOU bring to a Woman's life?
Don't ever, ever give away the farm, dude. Never let a woman define you. Don't ever succumb to a woman's "judgement" ofyou.
Understand, that the more you learn about woen, and the more onjective you are about the data, theless you will want to Qualify yourself to them. The less you will put them on a pedastle, the less you will want o put them above you or your needs. use the info you getr to EMPOWER You.
Look at every interaction as something fun, and experimental. Simply another experience. Don't ever get too emotionally involved with a woman who is a stranger, dude.



get out there and find the resources, people, places,and things you want in your life.

Do the research on those people I suggested, take a bootcamp, buy the DVDs, find out what you need.

Do it.

Tough love, brother. But you need it. We don't want to see another good man down.
Trust us.

 

[decades]

quit feeding the attention Hors.