Advice needed

[Johnsmith8899]

so long story short .. Dated a chick for about 3 weeks and she pulled the slow fade on me. Stayed in minimum contact (text d her twice over the course of 2 months with dry and short responses by her so I stopped) I showed minimal neediness (but some neediness nonetheless before cutting her lose and moving on to other girls and focusing more on myself). Anyway of course since I'm basically over it and I haven't heard from her in quite some time. Saw her at a red light in her car on my way to gym. She phoned me after I waved at her. She was super joyful on the phone. Had small talk and I ended the conversation by saying "we'll talk". I'm surprised she had my # and even more surprised how happy she was to hear from me..it's weird because usually when someone associates those feelings with someone they stay in contact with them... Anyway

It's been a few days and I'm hesitant to reach out - still have some feelings for her but I feel also like it's a weak move to give her another chance.
I'll probably wait for her to text me..if anything Thoughts?

 

[Johnsmith8899]

I expect varying opinions on this, and I personally believe you've posted this for SS members' approval to contact her.

I personally wouldn't contact her and in my opinion she likely never will reach out to you. You're focusing time and energy and thought on somebody who abandoned you, yet you're now likely convinced that she's had a change of heart, all due to a random encounter at a traffic light.

If she re-initiates contact (doubtful in my opinion) via text, wait a full 2 days to respond, and when you do respond, call her...and if she doesn't answer, don't leave a message and don't follow up with a text.

If she initiates a call, answer, then after 20 seconds, say, "Hey I can't talk now super busy. Can I call you back later?" Then wait 2-3 days to call back, and when you do, keep the conversation short and invite her to drink with you on a specific day, time, and place.

You're pretty accurate on that. Although I'm not going to contact her just curious what the SS community believes on this.

 

[AJ84]

so long story short .. Dated a chick for about 3 weeks and she pulled the slow fade on me. Stayed in minimum contact (text d her twice over the course of 2 months with dry and short responses by her so I stopped) I showed minimal neediness (but some neediness nonetheless before cutting her lose and moving on to other girls and focusing more on myself). Anyway of course since I'm basically over it and I haven't heard from her in quite some time. Saw her at a red light in her car on my way to gym. She phoned me after I waved at her. She was super joyful on the phone. Had small talk and I ended the conversation by saying "we'll talk". I'm surprised she had my # and even more surprised how happy she was to hear from me..it's weird because usually when someone associates those feelings with someone they stay in contact with them... Anyway

It's been a few days and I'm hesitant to reach out - still have some feelings for her but I feel also like it's a weak move to give her another chance.
I'll probably wait for her to text me..if anything Thoughts?

Women don't fade on men they are interested in. That would be a sticking point- what happened when she was barely texting you and let it die on the vine, compared to her interest now.
I'm not suggesting you not talk to her but don't reach out let her contact you and in the meantime continue doing your thing and meeting other women. See where it goes but don't dwell on it, let her come to you if she is that interested.

 

[resilient]

Women don't fade on men they are interested in. That would be a sticking point- what happened when she was barely texting you and let it die on the vine, compared to her interest now.

Usually... with these actions, it's usually a more interesting orbiter. Our egos, as men, don't like to accept that, yet usually true when interest level "suddenly" drops off into the abyss.

 

[Trump]

She phoned me after I waved at her. She was super joyful on the phone. Had small talk and I ended the conversation by saying "we'll talk". I'm surprised she had my # and even more surprised how happy she was to hear from me..it's weird because usually when someone associates those feelings with someone they stay in contact with them.

Not necessarily. If she's not sleeping with anyone it's real nice to get an ego boost from a guy she used to go out with. Girls get a rush of feelings and the guy thinks she's in love. Feelings will go away if there another guy in the picture.

It's been a few days and I'm hesitant to reach out - still have some feelings for her but I feel also like it's a weak move to give her another chance.
I'll probably wait for her to text me..if anything Thoughts?

What is your goal in texting in her? Sleep with her or try to enter into a full blown 100% relationship? Your Feelings don't count.

 

[Johnsmith8899]

Not necessarily. If she's not sleeping with anyone it's real nice to get an ego boost from a guy she used to go out with. Girls get a rush of feelings and the guy thinks she's in love. Feelings will go away if there another guy in the picture.



What is your goal in texting in her? Sleep with her or try to enter into a full blown 100% relationship? Your Feelings don't count.

Banging plenty of chicks. Would of been for a relationship .. Not doing it tho... The inner alpha won't let me