advice needed!

[MyBloodyValentine]

hey guys, havent posted in a while. just wanted to say how this semester has been one giant success for me, this is without a doubt the best i have been doing with women and social life in general in my entire life. i actually have a reputation as a womanizer now! me! needless to say its a little unreal coming from a former sociopath.

anyways, i picked up this girl who i have been working on for a week or two on saturday night, and were hanging out again tomorrow. thing is, i dont know how to proceed from here. this girl is really into me i can tell, but im just not looking for a girlfriend right now. at the same time though, she is a totally cool chick, great sense of humour and is very attractive.

the bottom line is that i dont want a serious relationship at all, as i might even be leaving the country in april for a few months. we both share a lot of friends and i wouldnt want her to hate me at all if i were to try and break it off and let it simmer down. she is a cool girland i would truly like to keep her as a friend. i mean, more than that would be great as well i just dont want it to get to serious you know? i want to still be able to go out like a single guy and talk to other girls without having to worry about it.

anyone have any ideas on how to proceed? any and all advice is appreciated, and thanks again guys. this website has changed my life. :rockon:

 

[HOT_CHILLI]

Hi, i get help from other members so i need to return the favours.

Unfortunately there is no special secret way around that. Whenever someone tries to go from a friendship to a relationship of any kind they put the friendship at stake. that risk will ALWAYS be there. If it does go pear-shaped you will most likely come out with a friendship, but although you can still be great friends, it usually isnt the same as it was. How can it be?

Anyway enough of the down sides, if she is similar to you, she might be also looking for the type of relationship you are seeking, intimate relations with no set-in-concrete strings attatched. If you do really want to go for this, even though it may risk your friendship, just make sure you make it clear to her what you want and plan to do because it would be a pain in the damn ass if she gets romantically attatched when you arent looking for that.

Hope i was helpful.

 

[bornyesterday]

That's a great change you have made. Wanting to stay single and just have fun is part of DJ-ing.

But why so serious?
What makes you think she wants more then to have fun just like you?
Just go with it. If you're not comfortable with it make it clear from the start you are not looking for anything serious right now. Women like honesty and they'll probably go with it.
But usually they can read that attitude in your demeanor. So the question is, are you congruent with it?
Sleeping with somebody and staying in touch in friendly terms is perfectly possible. Be relaxed and comfortable around it. Don't start being awkward and weerded out. If you do then your friendship is in jeopardy indeed.

 

[MyBloodyValentine]

thanks for the help guys. i think im just going to let it play itself out. im hoping that she can kind of just tell that im not into starting anything serious. she just told me yesterday that she was with her boyfriend of almost 2 years until last weekend (the night i met her) so im guessing shes not wanting anything too serious either. she also knows im planning on leaving the country so i think it should be good.

i just hope that like...she wont be offended and **** if i try to go for other girls you know?