advice needed.. should i apologize or wait for her too

[jay07]

Been seeing this chick for a few months . we've been exclusive and she's been staying over a lot. last night her phone started blowing up with texts at 130 am. I didnt say anything and I dont know who it was

we go to lay down and are drinking some beers, I start playing w. her and go upstairs for a sec after to use the bathroom . I come back down and she's on her phone so I roll over to fall asleep and she starts accusing me of being weird. so I say to her "why do you think I'm being weird? you sound defensive and have been on your phone. if you wanna leave and have better **** to do nobody's stopping you"

she then tells me she doesn't wanna leave so I roll back over and 5 mins later she gets dressed and leaves.

havnt heard from her today. I feel like just waiting for her to text me first but I feel like I'm overreacting a little. what do you guys think is the best route? Don't want to look weak.

 

[latinnova]

Should have laid down the law there and then without rolling over. I would have said something along the lines of " Right now is our time, turn the phone off for the night." Of course, make it roll off the tongue smoothly. They usually like that. And if she didn't, then I take that piece of sh!t phone and throw it up against the wall. Lol, jk, but I would tell her that isn't the behavior I expect. Women really do like when you take control. You did right on not asking who it was, you will come off as insecure, cause a real man doesn't give a damn about who is on the other side of the phone.

Now I guess you can just explain your end of the deal without apologizing, but don't text her. Either call her or discuss it face to face. Texts can be misinterpreted so bad that it can ruin things completely. Just to help her understand why u did what you did. From now on lay down the law.

 

[jay07]

Yeah your right, but do I wait or just contact her and tell her. I kno she thinks I did something wrong cause usually she would have contacted me by now. I'm not too worried about it but I'm not sure if I'm just being too hard headed . I feel like I'm not.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

I wouldn't reach out to her. Let her come talk to you about it, she's sitting by her phone right now, looking at her watch, wondering when you're going to text/call her. She walked out of your place, she left you (that's one way to look at it). She should be the one apologizing. She could have easily explained why she was texting someone at 1:30Am, included you on what was so important that she had to interrupt your evening to text someone else. Instead, I feel it was some sort of test, "I'm going to respond to these texts at 1:30AM, and lets see how he reacts." Then she took off and left when she didn't get her way. Now she's expectin you to get down on your knees and beg her to come back. Fvck that noise. You have to be willing to walk away from the relationship, and this is one of those times you need to show her that you can do that.

Now, that all being said, by reading your OP, it does seem that you came off somewhat butt hurt that she wasn't giving you her undivided attention. But, IMO, I think you handled it pretty well, so fvck em, let her know homie don't play that secretive 1:30 AM text game. She does have her own life, but if you're her exclusive bf, then it would be common courtesy to voluntarily explain a text at 1:30AM.

 

[hudpes]

^^^^^^I concur with this. Why she couldn't simply explain what it was about is mind boggling. She's got to make the first move. You just stay put. Don't pout, happily go about your business and when she texts you (I bet my left nut she won't call), take your time to respond, but not excessively long. Let her climb up back to you not vice versa.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Hmmm, I think the way she reacts to this one can tell you a lot about your relationship with her, and the best way to evoke this in my view is to sit back and do nothing on your end. How would you gauge her interest level in you? Do you ever suspect she's not fully committed to you? Admittedly, this is an area I struggled with in my last relationship (her receiving late night texts), so I can't tell you how I'd handle that issue when you guys finally talk (which I'm banking on it that you will) - I used to bottle up my inquisitiveness inside and err on the side of indifference outwardly. I'll tell you though, from my experience, when the going gets tough, I've gleaned a pattern from girls with high interest and girls with low interest: if they're into you, expect an apologetic stance along with a willingness to reconcile and improve their behavior, and if the interest levels are not as high, expect a cross between YOU explain yourself and "I don't give a fvck", something standoffish - not sure if others would agree. I agree with Peak & Valleys - don't call or text. She chose to bolt. By you staying firmly planted and unresponsive, think of it as you throwing the sh1t test back at her. If a girl is really into you she will fight to keep you and she will not walk out of your life so easily. My suggestion is to focus very closely on how she handles this situation.

Btw, I too think you handled this situation quite well.