Advice Needed She's coming over to my aparment

[slcKing]

OK I have a date on Saturday this isn't a first date with the girl but this is the first time that she every came to my apartment(after many attempts). I have known this girl for about 7 months but 4 of those months don't count because we had stop talking for some reason. But we start talking again this week because of my birthday and she agreed to coming over my apartment to chill and watch a movie.

Me and her haven't really been Intimate at all yet(haven't even kissed yet) But i want to change this Saturday. So I plan on going to Rent some movies going and picking her up and bringing her to my place. My question is "WHAT SHOULD I DO WHEN SHE GETS HERE"? Now we are going to be watching the movie the in my bedroom because there no T.V. in the living room. I want to use this date to get intimate with her and hopefully avoid the friend zone(Haven't heard the "Lets Just Be Friends"phrase but i have acted like the Shy/Nice Guy aka AFC a couple times:nono: so i don't know were I Stand Yet). Is there something on the site that can prevent me from acting like an AFC when she get here? How do I does seduction work if you never kissed the girl and how can I create it without be overly aggressive?

 

[Credos]

Movies on first dates is going to be an epic fail if you ask me , here's what I would do if I would stand in your shoes at this time.

I wouldn't change the date, let her come to my place saturday, but think of something else to do but a movie, and I'm not talking about your home! The thing is I'm going to change the scenery, ALOT.

So she comes over saturday stands at my door, I tell her to come in, ask her if she wants a drink though you can't offer much and act really busy, putting my shoes on and watching my watch alot, as if I'm going to bail. Then I tell her "I'm not into a movie tonight", and you don't actually have much to drink at your home don't give her time to fully drink the drink if she does want a drink, so you tell her: "lets go bowling, and lets make a deal, if I win, you cook dinner for me, and if you win I'll cook dinner for you THOUGH i'm not the expert at cooking so you must help me". Considering she's there and you're not leaving her much option she'll probebly agree.

(make sure you got a backup plan -> play snooker or pool, some women just don't wanna go bowl, if she doesn't agree to any of you plan changes, she's to much of a hard person and isen't fit to be a GF. So this is indeed a test, you seeing if she cooperates to sudden changes, is she flexible?)

If the deals on you just made yourself a second dateplan, in like 2 seconds, easy eh? Ain't making games more challeging with these kinda deals fun?

So she agrees, maybe not to the deal, but then change the deal to buying icecream (if I win you buy me icecream, else i buy you icecream), no woman says no to icecream . Should you win and tell her: "To cheer you up, I'll help you anyway". After the bowling, go for a drink at a good bar but where you guys can be togheter.

Talk about hobbies, travel, future plans, the past pranks you did in highschool, that kinda stuff. Try to ask for that kinda stuff from her. Get some ****y funny stuff going...

During you're date try to get alot of eye contact, that kinda stuff. After you got a drink it's about time to go home, this first date was to get her comfortable. You showed her you intrested, fun, and you're able to settle the next date easely because of your "deal". I wouldn't kiss on first date.

If you made alot of eye contact and you noticed she's intrested then text message her, the same night: "Thanks for the good time, you free next wednesday? You can cook at my place and we can watch that movie then, I can't promis I won't kiss you though."

Yet again you're testing, if she agrees, you know she's intrested, if she isen't she prolly reject. Hey you gotta find out someday where you stand so, that's when you do. If she rejects, other fish in the sea, you had a good time and you got some practice, nobody can take that away.

If she accepts: "second date": So she agreed, text message her the day before: I suggest we get the ingrediants togheter wednesday, lets meet at *time*. Go to the mall togherer, act casual, but still ****y funny. Go with the flow and make sure you guys eat something you both like! During the cooking just talk abit and try to look goofy in the kitchen (You dont wanna cook for the rest of you life for anybody do you? Helping at max! ). So you made dinner, had a good meal, movie time, still no escalation.

So you go to you room, give her a place on your bed, start the movie, go sit as far away from her on the bed. If she looks wierd at you ask her: "Are you checking me out?!". And go sit closer to her, if she doesn't look, still go sit closer .

My way of escalating during movies: all the sudden during the movie: "You're sitting on my half..."
Her: "not"
Me: Push her
Her: doesn't allow pushing and pushes back
Me: pushing shoulder to shoulder

after a minute or so use tickling techniques =P that should get her to move, anyhow try to lay down and get her next to you or even better on top of you. THe thing is you're getting kino going.

If you're able to pull it of to get her on top of you, try to look her in the eye, and try to push her arms away so she falls with her face on yours. The thing is I want her to think she kissed me first. You go 90% of the way, the other 10% is upto the girl to go for. If you go 90% and she asks you what are you doing: "I think you know..." give her time to go for the 10%. Even if she pulls back, hold at that position you were, she might just be giving last second resistance. If she kisses you, give it to her for a few seconds then pull back and grin.

THis is when I would get ****y but this should be you're own move, don't do it if you're not feeling it.

If you do it like me tell her: You kissed me! Player :O!
her: I'm n...
me: (pulls to rekiss)
If you don't, go with the flow and rekiss, but alwayse pull back, let her try to get more, just never give enough

I think I couldn't say more about what I would do than this hope it kinda helped you, the thing is, go with the flow and above all have a good time. The rest is extras.

 

[Credos]

movie suggestion:

Women like chick flicks, but i don't so I would never get that stuff. Just get some 'jack nicholson' movie, everybody likes those. Can't go wrong with As Good as It Gets, just make sure she's okay with seeing that specific more you wanna see.

 

[slcKing]

Thank this is some good advice. The only thing i probably left out is that this isn't my first date with the girl on this is more like the 3 or 4 date but this would be the 1st time that she has every been to my apartment. I also like the idea of bringing back to my place on the 2nd time around after the bowling date, but i sort of have a time limit because school is about to be out and there's only a week left so this would probably be my last time seeing her before she goes home for the summer.Does this changes your idea of the for the direction of the date?

 

[Eaglecreek]

Thank this is some good advice. The only thing i probably left out is that this isn't my first date with the girl on this is more like the 3 or 4 date but this would be the 1st time that she has every been to my apartment. I also like the idea of bringing back to my place on the 2nd time around after the bowling date, but i sort of have a time limit because school is about to be out and there's only a week left so this would probably be my last time seeing her before she goes home for the summer.Does this changes your idea of the for the direction of the date?

hmmm, so she won't be able to date you next week? then make the deal: "if I win, you cook dinner for me tomorow, and if you win I'll cook dinner for you tomorow THOUGH i'm not the expert at cooking so you must help me" (so do first date saturday, second date sunday) instead of wednesday. Though there is the problem: what if she's busy, well most people eat 3 times a day, so you can say breakfast, lunch, dinner

she: I can't tomorow
me: thats okay you can make me breakfast
-> gotta get to the mall to get the ingrediants, so gotta do that saturday

or:
she: I can't tomorow
me: thats okay you can make me lunch
-> gotta get to the mall to get the ingrediants, which you can do before lunch, and is a good icebreaker

But like I said theres still chance she'll refuse...

=P considering the week ends at sunday , anyhow you gotta bring stuff to a positive flow, we don't know how you did the first few dates or what you did, but she clearly got intrest in you seeing as its dat 4 or was that before you stopped talking, cause then its date 1 again...

Maybe you should give a quick report so we know what you did during your dates... any escalations? Kino? EC? that kinda stuff.

The dinner situation is actually change of scenery, alot of change in that is a great way to get the girl comfterable and ready for a close. So you could just switch to date two, call her and suggest you have dinner togheter, you suck at cooking (if you don't then still say you do ) but you think it would be fun doable to do it togheter.

The thing credos suggests is bringing your date lvl up a bit, set the mood right and prepare her and yourself for a close...

 

[Eaglecreek]

Thinking about it, you could just mix date 1 and 2, the only thing you didn't get was sending that message so you don't really know where you stand, guess you'll have to find out by IOIs and EC, but she's been seeing you so much this week I guess you can say she's rather intrested right , besides that brings some risks to the game, more tension and fun for you

If she's intrested she'll probebly agree to the plan. So when you're bailing say: I wanna go bowl first. Give her the challange and then stick with the plan: Go bowl -> get a drink at chill bar -> watch movie -> score and get your dinner another time :yes:

And give us report on how it went!

 

[slcKing]

we don't know how you did the first few dates or what you did, but she clearly got intrest in you seeing as its dat 4 or was that before you stopped talking, cause then its date 1 again...

Maybe you should give a quick report so we know what you did during your dates... any escalations? Kino? EC? that kinda stuff.

Sorry for the long story but here are some of the date details

Ok on the 1st date about 7month's ago we went to the movies. There wasn't really in escalation but I had my arm around her and kicked her legs up on my lap. then after the movie I was going to drop her off and we got to her place she wanted to stay and the car and talk to me.we talked time flied we ended up talking in the car for about 3 hours then she said she had a good time i gave her a hug and that was the end of date 1.We had a good connection on date one (the reason i think that because after the 1st date she called me all the time).

On date 2 I low on funds so for some reason we said that we was just gonna hang out. So i did something real AFC i remembered that she told me that she like lemon heads so i bought them along with my favorite candy. I went to her place but for some reason this turned into a car date. I gave her the candy and she seemed happy but we sat in the car for hours and I felt that connection building even more but still no escalation.

Date 3 went the same as date 2 without the candy,still no escalation.

On Date 4 I told myself no more car dates its time to try to get her to my place and create some intimacy .So she agreed but the day came and I asked her if she was ready and she said that she was watching a movie with her friends. It got late and she said that it she was getting tired and we should watch the movie tomorrow I was mad (because I had cancelled all my plans for this) so i reply and said Na maybe another time. So she kind of panic ed start apologizing and said that she would meet in the dorm I was if i wanted her to. so we meet and that when told me she thought we were getting to close. I thought that was some BS so I left her alone for a minute. After a while everything between me and her died down.

Fast forward 3 month's its valentines day. she sends me a text Happy Valentine's Day I say thanks and I told her Happy Valentines. We both didn't have dates so I tried to get her to come to my place again. she want to come over but not on my terms. I wanted her to come over that nite and she was trying to come over too early like at 3pm. so i ended up just going to her place which was a waste of time because she was doing homework most of the time i was there and we played catch up basicly just talking about what have we been up to the last couple of months.she talks about some guy and how he treated her so badly stuff that i didn't want to hear. then after that i left there was really no escalation there either we stopped talking after that.

Fast forward to the present. she texts me out the blue and wishes me a happy birthday at like 12am. I'm surprise because that's the last person i expected to her that from. she ask me what i was doing. I said nothing then I asked her what she was doing she said nothing in her room. I was around the corner from her building so i told her to come outside she did. We sat in the car and talked time flied once again.2hrs later its about 3am she's says that she has a 9oclock class in the mourning so she gave me a hug, then i leave (no escalation but i really didn't expect anything we were just catching up). Later that day she wishes me again and i say thanks then she asks me what am i doing for my b-day. I told her i don't have anything planed yet but I might go to the bar with a couple of friends. Then i asked her what she was doing and she said she was studying for finals this being the last week of classes. I Told her that we should come to my place and watch a movie Saturday Nite. She said that would be cool. I told her I was gonna pick her up at 8. Then she tried to say that she had to study at 8pm can we watch it at 2pm. I told her that I had something to do at that time. The she said that we would work something out. Then She texted me 5 minutes later and said that 8oclock was cool. On this date I'm trying find out were I stand.

After reading this does anyone's ideas change on how I can create that attraction again and make things escalate to at least a kiss and maybe more.

 

[sodbuster]

You have her coming over to your house,she knows what can happen there and is OK with it[or else she wouldn't come over].Put some pillows on the bed so you can sit up/recline to watch the movie. See how close she gets to you-if she sits on the other side of the bed,you have issues. If she sits near you, or right against you, she is interested-kiss her about 20 minutes into the movie. You may want to stop and watch the movie[play a little hard to get]

 

[slcKing]

bump

 

[amoka]

You have her coming over to your house,she knows what can happen there and is OK with it[or else she wouldn't come over].Put some pillows on the bed so you can sit up/recline to watch the movie. See how close she gets to you-if she sits on the other side of the bed,you have issues. If she sits near you, or right against you, she is interested-kiss her about 20 minutes into the movie. You may want to stop and watch the movie[play a little hard to get]

this is all you need

 

[Kevin Feng]

This is something you're going to have to calibrate with the girl, some girls are cool with escalation and some just aren't on the first date.

When I was working with Johnny Wolf from ABC's of Attraction, he always taught me to use compliance tests instead of looking for IOI's. Here's the thing, women will always send you different signals and IOI's vary from girl to girl, some girls will be strong with their IOI's, others will be reserved.

That being said, you want to see what she's responsive to. If she's wierded out, respect her boundaries. You always want to lay back and let a girl become comfortable around you in the initial encounters.

Remember, when you're physically escalating with her, you want to escalate when her BT is high.

"When a girl is laughing, she's thinking with the emotional part of her brain, not the logical".

-Kevin

 

[slcKing]

When i go in for the kiss should I go for the neck 1st or the Lips? Because i was thinking that if I kiss her on her neck first that when she would look at me and then go for the Lips.

 

[horaholic]

Quit sitting in her car and talking to her, for Christs sake. look up some threads on proper escalation, and grab your balls and just do it. If you are alone together, you put your arm around her, then you stroke her skin, and her hands, tell her shes cute when she's nervous, pull her towards you, look in her eyes and kiss her... on the lips. You know what to do, you're just too scared to do it. Just make yourself do it. If you're lucky, you haven blown it already by not escalating, but girls will close that window real quick if you dont make any moves, so get on it.

 

[Credos]

how did it go

 

[Randallpink83]

My first progression if I were in your place... CUDDLE TIME!!!
just start cuddling. be playful, fun, sexual...

Its not a question if you can GET physical with her. Its a question if you will take the lead and MAKE it physical. She is down. Girls are not dumb, she knows whats up.

You don't need IOIs or whatever the fvck people are saying. She is talking to you. She is coming to your house to watch a movie... How many more signals do you need?
Just have fun bro. Enjoy the moment, enjoy her, have fun. But also have the intent to get physical... You want to get physical so why hide it? be real with yourself and with her, then the natural thing will surely follow. Like sex maybe.
enjoy your CUDDLE TIME!!!

...and errr... one last thing. Stop focusing on this from now on. The only thing that could hurt you now, is over-complicating and thinking too deeply and logically into the situation. Let go of your thoughts and dont try too hard. Let your sexual urges and intent and relaxed cool vibe take over now. Then whatever happens, happens. It doesn't matter the outcome. You will have fun and be cool with whatever happens. You're a sexual man! You are chill!

be fun, be sexual, be cool, FUN, SEXUAL, COOL... CUDDLE TIME! Now BREAKKK. :cheer:

 

[spread_love]

Just be yourself man, you can't do much better than that and good luck.