Advice needed : I come accross as too keen and next date

[octane_orphan]

OK need some help … 1) I always come across as too keen and need a technique or a mantra to stop me 2) I have made a bit off a boo boo and need correct it..

The story so far ….

First Date (Tuesday) – Pub – Went very well, I initiated the good bye kiss which was very nice!
Second Date (Friday) – Cinema (Bridget Jones2)– Went well – Held hands which I initiated! Everytime we had to break she reinitiated.
Third Date (Saturday) – Not so well, weather was wet, windy and cold, went shopping and for a meal, enjoyed each others company went on a little long though. Kiss good bye was longer but bit clumbsy. All the way through the dates she sat close and her body was turned to me, lots of eye contact and smiles and nervous laughter. I (very insecure I know) texted her about an hour after she left and it went as follows

Txt – Come over Sunday eve?
Her – Sorry have to do somethings with my sister xx
Me – Do you want to meet up again?
Me – Ahh well ok then not to worry have a good one ;o)
Me – Confused though ??
Her – Just got three txt message at once, had fun, enjoy your company, not sure if want anything more xx
(BLOODY TELECOMS COMPANY!! .. this has happened more than once!!)

Me – Sorry don’t want to come across as too keen, enjoyed your company too, would like to see you again.
Her – Busy most of the week, will see how it goes

(I left it there)

Any comments?

What can I do for the forth date … want something original and romantic…

 

[sapphire]

I think by contacting her so soon after the last date you may have scared her off a bit. That is where the concept of challenge comes in.

I would wait at least a week before contacting her again. It will also test her IL to see whether she calls you back. Otherwise slow down. There is a saying that rings true. The one who is less interested in a relationship is the one in control. It appears that your IL is higher than hers which means that she is in control. Get back in control by investing more of your time in other girls. The more you have the less you care about the outcome with this girl and the more confident and less desperate you will appear to your benefit.

Oh about the text messaging. One time I was dating this very cute japanese girl and without explanation she got 10 text messages from me all at once. As the result, she freaked out and I never heard from her again. You can figure why. But, yea, text messaging is a double edged sword.

 

[Ricky]

You're doing OK. Yeah I have made the same mistake at times. In fact I'm at a similar stage with a new girl. We went out 3 or 4 times in a row and then took a week break.

The good thing to do early in any relationship is to keep contact short. This is where e-mail is kind of working well instead of phone (i think text messages could be easily overdone as well).

This girl does e-mail me almost everyday but messages are short.

Just take a step back it will work out fine. Take a week off, it sure can't hurt.

One thing I've noticed from personal experience in a few relationships is that girls move a little slower in the beginning phase. I don't know why it is, but I've had a couple of times where a girl wants me to slow it down.

1 month into my 3 year LTR, my ex gf said that to me. I want to take things slow with you.

I did, I kept to just one date a week and occasionally we had a week where we didn't go out.

It allowed the relationship to progress nice and slowly.

Someone said once that women feel they have to readjust their whole life for a guy (us guys might go nuts thinking about a girl, but we don't change our whole life for them).

 

[Maverick001]

Me – Sorry don’t want to come across as too keen, enjoyed your company too, would like to see you again.
Her – Busy most of the week, will see how it goes

octane_orphan,

You're coming across as being too keen because you're being too keen. That's why she said that she's going to be busy most of the week.

Any girl that wants to see you will make the time to do so, barring emergencies and important family gatherings, etc. It really is that simple.

DON'T TAKE A WEEK OFF. Call her in about 2-3 days. No text messages.

Tell her to meet you at such and such a place at such and such a time on such and such day, if she wants to have fun. Make it the next day or 2 days after the day you call. Go to such and such place and if she doesn't show have fun yourself anyway.

Then call 2-3 days after that and TELL HER ABOUT THE FUN SHE MISSED. If her interest level is good then she'll want to see you, otherwise she won't. Then you have to decide to up the ante or eject and next her.

Just my 2 cents.

Cheers,
Mav

 

[Ricky]

Great advice from an 80's song

New Edition "Cool it Now"
Just now listening to it.
Heres part of the lyrics:

When ya got a girl who takes her time
You must slow the pace you can’t mess with her mind
If she feels the same she’ll letcha know
Just prepare yourself or be ready to go
And I hope this message stays in your mind
Cause you almost lost a girl who is right on time
There’s one more thing that ya got to know
Just cool it down and stay in control