Advice Needed: Helped a Friend, now he's turned his back on me

[Willie Naylor]

For the last 4 months, I've twisted myself into a pretzel to help a friend get back on his feet. I've opened a few doors for him and gotten him some opportunities for various things.

Sometime in the last month, he's pretty much started ignoring me. He's never thanked me for doing all that I've done for him, and isn't really communicating anything to me about how things are going.

How should I handle this?

 

[powersize]

For the last 4 months, I've twisted myself into a pretzel to help a friend get back on his feet. I've opened a few doors for him and gotten him some opportunities for various things.

Sometime in the last month, he's pretty much started ignoring me. He's never thanked me for doing all that I've done for him, and isn't really communicating anything to me about how things are going.

How should I handle this?

It is not your friend

 

[Robert28]

You should handle it by not being a pushover next time. Quit helping people out! You’ll never get anything in return and they’ll just keep asking for more more more. It’ll never be appreciated and it’ll never be repaid. You’ve learned a very valuable lesson the hard way. We all have. Now just remember this next time someone needs help.

 

[Barrister]

For the last 4 months, I've twisted myself into a pretzel to help a friend get back on his feet. I've opened a few doors for him and gotten him some opportunities for various things.

Sometime in the last month, he's pretty much started ignoring me. He's never thanked me for doing all that I've done for him, and isn't really communicating anything to me about how things are going.

How should I handle this?

Handle it the same way you would handle a woman's bad behavior -- silence and distance. Agree and amplify his decision to ignore you. Continuing to try to talk to him will do nothing. Unfortunately, he has told you a lot with his decision ignore after you helped him like you did. He will need to come to you at this point for you to continue to provide him your friendship.

 

[Billtx49]

How should I handle this?

The One thing I didn’t see in your post was his thanks to you for your help. Without it you don’t know what he’s thinking or if he’s even grateful.

S&D, wait and see if he Asks you for Any future help, only then will you know if he wants it.

 

[Zimbabwe]

It is a hard pill to swallow when you go out of your way to help someone who does not appreciate it.

Instead of continuing to devote time and energy to people who do not appreciate you, invest in those that do apperciate your efforts

 

[Robert28]

It is a hard pill to swallow when you go out of your way to help someone who does not appreciate it.

Instead of continuing to devote time and energy to people who do not appreciate you, invest in those that do apperciate your efforts

What I’ve learned is that the ones who don’t appreciate you are the ones who are the most demanding. The ones who do appreciate you never ask you for anything. Funny how that works huh?

 

[Francis]

What I’ve learned is that the ones who don’t appreciate you are the ones who are the most demanding. The ones who do appreciate you never ask you for anything. Funny how that works huh?

Indeed. I've found that toxic people (selfish, demanding, unappreciative... to name only a few) are far more pushy and aggressive. It's usually because they feel entitled. As much as it sucks to have these kind of people out there, it's great once you learn to distinguish them from the rest. But of course it sometimes takes a while for true colors to reveal themselves.

 

[zinc4]

For the last 4 months, I've twisted myself into a pretzel to help a friend get back on his feet. I've opened a few doors for him and gotten him some opportunities for various things.

Sometime in the last month, he's pretty much started ignoring me. He's never thanked me for doing all that I've done for him, and isn't really communicating anything to me about how things are going.

How should I handle this?

Nothing to do. Very few real friends out there. Everyone is out for themselves.