advice needed, facing the truth

[protienpowder]

So I will be graduating soon, and everyone from my class will get to meet my family during the graduation ceremony. They will also get to meet my little brother, who is retarded. This itself is not a problem. The problem is that for all 4 years of college, I have lied to everyone I know and told them that my brother is a bright guy whose going to college, ect.

In hindsight, I know I should have told them the truth. But, what gave me trouble about talking to this with my friends was how my brother became who he is today. My brother used to be a very smart person until he endured a very traumatizing incident during jr high. The stress of the incident took its toll on him, and now his mind is completly gone. I didn't tell my friends how my brother really is because I found it painful for me to explain this to them. I also didn't want my friends feeling sad for me. I just wanted to appear like a normal guy with no emotional hang ups.

But now graduation is here, and my parents have brought down my brother. Everyone is curious too see my family. I really don't know how to react when my friends are expecting someone bright and they find out what my brother is really like.

 

[backbreaker]

first of all, you suck. you should never be ashamed of anyone in your family. that's blood. retarded or not.

secondly, any friends that will talk about someone whoose retarded, is truely, retarded. I have a great grandmother whoose missing an eye, and who is a deaf mute. She gets stairs when she goes out (plus she's 102) but I love her to death, and I am in no way shape or form ashamed of her. she is literalry a walking history book.

with that said, a quick solution to your problems is telling them that this is your "other" brother and your other younger brother couldn't make it. but that's the ***** way out if you ask me.

man you have a hell of alot of learning to do. you are mkssing the fundamental aspects of DJism

 

[protienpowder]

I agree that I didn't tell my friends because I was mentally weak. Ashamed isn't the right word for how I used to feel of my brother, my reason was that I didn't want my friends to feel some sort of sadness towards me. But, now I don't see it that way anymore.

I feel that I am more ashamed of myself for hiding this whole situation.

I decided I am just going to come forward with the truth, tell them what happened to my brother, then tell them I lied earlier because I wasn't comfortable talking about my brother's ordeal. If someone thinks low of me for my explanation, well, I deserve it. I think low of me for not explaining the truth earlier.

 

[Falcon]

I agree that I didn't tell my friends because I was mentally weak. Ashamed isn't the right word for how I used to feel of my brother, my reason was that I didn't want my friends to feel some sort of sadness towards me. But, now I don't see it that way anymore.

I feel that I am more ashamed of myself for hiding this whole situation.

I decided I am just going to come forward with the truth, tell them what happened to my brother, then tell them I lied earlier because I wasn't comfortable talking about my brother's ordeal. If someone thinks low of me for my explanation, well, I deserve it. I think low of me for not explaining the truth earlier.

Good choice. Just take this as a learning experience. Try not to get so down by it. I mean, it's no life or death situation here. You're admitting your own mistake, which to me is one of the great signs of maturity. It takes a big man to admit a mistake, and an even bigger one to admit that in front of other people.

 

[protienpowder]

Just out of curiousity. Your brother became this way strictly from emotional stress? I didn't know that was possible...

Yeah, It was a lot of sadness and anger. Before that, he was a top student.

 

[Gaucho]

Tell them exactly what you said here. Good choice. Either way, its no biggy, its not really gonna affect your friends lives one way or another.