Advice needed: Can I create attraction with a pre-breakup breakup?

[phobius]

Hey everyone,

I have been spending a lot of time with this gorgeous girl for the past month or so, we've done lots of stuff with friends and more recently have been going on dates, but I have felt her becoming more distant and I know she is interested in someone else (a guy who rejected her just before i met her, who is in a relationship with another woman.) I know via a mutual friend that she is still interested in this guy and because of this, is unsure about me and backing away.

My question: since I'm about to lose her anyway, can I take control/show my authority by breaking it off first - IE let her know I want to be friends and am going to pursue other options? How would you go about this? Seems like it could establish me as a powerful masculine force (esp since she's in the same boat with the guy SHE likes!)

Otherwise it's just going to be game playing like not calling or emailing for days, dropping hints that I'm seeing someone else, etc, and that seems lame. LMK what you think! :woo:

 

[Obsidian]

imo, it could work. I know a guy with a really hot gf who "broke up" with her a couple months ago. The breakup only lasted a few hours, tho, because she worked overtime to get him to change his mind. And now she seems crazy about him. On the other hand, I'm not sure why he decided to "break up." It might have been a different type of situation.

don't just take my advice, tho. I'm not really experienced enough

 

[Phyzzle]

Short answer: yes. I have seen it work in other relationships.

On the other hand . . . I don't know how young you are, but how can you break up with her? You aren't together. You've just been hanging out a lot recently. You are also making some other mistakes. Don't listen to mutual friends; they could mess you up, either by intent or by a subconcious jelousy.

 

[rrrrr]

I don't know but cutting girls off can really send their interest high. I was spending alot of time with a girl but it wasn't progressing well. Finally I got so frustrated and said screw it and stopped contacting her or spending time with her. After 3 days or so of me blowing hier off, she freaked out and said she wanted a relationshp with me, and was asking why I "broke up" with her. She had never talked to me like that before. But it still didn't work out because I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I realize I made a lot of bad moves with her. It still didn't work out because, it may create short term attraction, you have to keep her interest high when you get back together, otherwise you'll just drift apart again. See now things are falling apart between you, you do some stunt to get her interet again, but what are you going to do to keep it?

If you sense you have nothing to lose I guess go for it, but you have to do something to keep it if you get her back. I guess this is "Ganji" and people have said it's powerful stuff if a girl has SOME interest in you. But it doesn't make for a lasting relationship if you have to use it, if you ask me....